Encouragement – Page 8 – Grandpa Bob Encouraging Leadership

Happily Ever After

In fairy tales (and many books and movies), we spend most of the story learning how our happy couple meets and falls in love.

In fairy tales (and many books and movies), we spend most of the story learning how our happy couple meets and falls in love. We learn about the challenges they must overcome in their quest to be together. Suspense builds to a fever pitch as the forces of evil do everything in their power to keep this couple from fulfilling their destiny…togetherness forever. If the story has a happy ending (and most do), they live happily ever after. The End.

Real life is all about the happily ever after part. It’s about what happens after the couple rides off into the sunset in their horse-drawn chariot, or charcoal grey Honda Civic. Happily ever after requires curiosity and a spirit of adventure. It’s nurtured by a willingness to work and grow together. It requires the triumphs of success and the lessons of failure. It requires faith, hope, and most of all, happiness.

Happiness doesn’t come from anywhere but within. Couples (hopefully) learn quickly that their happiness (both individually, and as a couple) is driven by their thoughts, attitudes, and actions.

Our pathways alone bring neither happiness, nor sadness. We bring these ourselves, wherever we go.

As my wife and I celebrate 25 years of Happily Ever After today, I am eternally grateful for the happiness she brings to our journey every day.

No One is “Just a…”

Listen closely, and you’ll hear the “I’m just a…” phrase applied in many circumstances. You may even use it yourself. I’ve inflicted it on myself a time or two (or three).

“I don’t know the answer, I’m just a temp.”

“I can’t authorize that refund, I’m just a cashier.”

“Clearly, nobody here cares what I think. I’m just a worker bee.”

“I could probably help those wounded veterans, but I’m just a private citizen. I’m sure there’s a government agency for that.”

“There’s no way I could ever do that job. I’m just a high school graduate.”

Listen closely, and you’ll hear the “I’m just a…” phrase applied in many circumstances. You may even use it yourself. I’ve inflicted it on myself a time or two (or three).

Ownership is risky. It requires personal responsibility, a willingness to step up, make hard choices, and be held accountable for your actions. “I’m just a…” is a ticket to minimizing the expectations we place on ourselves.

The Dark Side

“Just a…” has an even darker side. It can be used to limit the expectations we place on those around us:

“John’s a decent manager, but he’s really just a guy keeping the trains coming in on time. I doubt he could step into anything new.”
“She’s just a summer intern, so I don’t expect her to light the world on fire for us.”
“He’s just a beginner, so we need to cut him some slack.”
“She’s just a kid.”
“He’s just a drug addict, so he will never amount to much.”

When expectations are minimized, minimized outcomes usually follow.

Applying the “just a…” phrase to anyone, including ourselves, ignores potential. It ignores our ability to grow, change, improve, and amaze.

What Are You Saying?

When talking to your friends, family, employees, or anyone else, do you use encouraging words, or discouraging words?

The words and tone you choose matter. They reflect, and impact, your attitude. Your words are the window into your perspective on the world.

Choose discouraging words, and you actively create a discouraging environment for those around you.

Choose encouraging words, use encouraging questions, and guess what…you create an encouraging environment.

The power to create an encouraging environment, an encouraging attitude, is in your hands everyday.

Here’s an exercise for you. Seek out three people to encourage today. Encourage them with your words, your questions, and your actions. Show them that you are genuinely interested in what they have to say. Be appreciative of their unique efforts and skills. Actively consider how to help them be more successful in achieving their goals. Repeat this exercise everyday.

Does this exercise make you uncomfortable? If so, maybe you should be the first person you seek out to encourage.

Everything Looks Easy…

Everything looks easy (from the grandstands)…

A pro golfer smacks a 325 yard drive off the tee. He has modified his swing perfectly so the ball draws to follow the dog-leg turn in the fairway at about the 225-yard mark. He bends over and picks up the tee, strolling casually away as if this is just a routine shot. For him, it is routine.

A pitcher throws a ball 98 miles per hour, straight down the middle for a strike, and follows that up with an 80 mile per hour change-up with the exact same throwing motion…fooling the batter with both pitches.

A Cirque de Soleil performer soars through the air upside-down, holding on with one hand to what appears to be a satin sheet hanging down from above. The soaring routine lasts 7-10 minutes, and the entire time the performer is merely hanging onto the satin sheet.

A freestyle motocrosser performs a no-handed back-flip across an 80 foot jump and lands it effortlessly.

A figure skater performs a jump combination that includes a triple spin in the air, followed by another triple spin in the opposite direction…landing flawlessly.

A general contractor and his crew convert an empty lot into a custom-built home, complete with custom landscaping, in less than 180 days.

A CEO gives an inspiring talk to 500 employees gathered in an auditorium. There are also 25,000 others watching remotely on the web. Every word is clear, precise, and each employee connects with the CEO’s message.

The audience only sees the final product. They don’t see the countless hours (often, years) of dedication, practice, and failures that have made the difficult look easy.

Where are you spending your time? In the grandstands where everything looks easy? Or, in the game where commitment, and a willingness to fail on the way to success, are the price of admission?