team communication – Grandpa Bob Encouraging Leadership

Years ago, I led a company with a large team in India.

Our conference calls included some exceptionally smart technologists and business leaders.

But most of them rarely spoke.

Usually, the most senior person on their side did the talking. Everyone else listened.

I’d stop and ask.

“What do you think?”

“Are we missing something?”

“Does anyone see this differently?”

Silence.

Then I got to know them.

I visited them in person. We spent time together outside the formal meetings.

They had strong opinions.

They saw risks we hadn’t discussed. They questioned decisions we’d made. Sometimes they were frustrated with the direction we’d chosen.

They just hadn’t said so when we were making the decisions.

I assumed some of this was cultural. Age, seniority, and respect for authority.

But I’ve seen the same pattern plenty of times in American organizations too. Smart people with something to say staying quiet for all kinds of reasons.

I eventually realized I had something to learn.

Telling people they’re free to speak isn’t the same as creating a setting where they will.

Consider the question, “Does anyone disagree?”

To answer yes, someone has to challenge the idea already sitting on the table. And depending on who put it there, they may feel like they’re challenging that person too.

Try another question.

What would make this fail?

Now disagreement is part of the assignment.

Find the weakness. Challenge an assumption. Spot the risk.

We aren’t deciding who’s right. We’re trying to make the plan better.

That’s a different conversation.

The next time I was on a call with that same team, I didn’t ask if they disagreed. I asked what would make the plan fail.

Someone I’d rarely heard speak chimed in.

Then someone else did.

A small shift in the question opened the conversation to ideas and perspectives we hadn’t heard before.

Leaders should design for agency.

Ask what would make the plan fail six months from now.