Serve others first…

Tim Ferriss asks a question of most of his podcast guests:

“If you had a billboard that millions of people would see every day, what would you put on that billboard?”

Tim’s guests have given answers ranging from the comedic to the serious. Some have talked about a cause that is their passion, or an inspirational passage they’d like people to see.

Each time I hear the question, I come up with the same three words:

Serve others first.

Serving others first means:

taking others’ needs and desires into account before our own
looking out for their best interest first
our decisions are more thoroughly considered because we’ll be taking time to think about how our decisions impact others
trying to make someone else’s job easier and more rewarding
showing someone gratitude for the work they’re doing
minding our manners (as my mom used to say when I was a kid)
listening to, and respecting others (even if we disagree with them)
looking for ways to improve a situation rather than making things worse
being the first to forgive.

It’s easy to focus on our own interests and challenges first. It’s easy to think everything happening in the world is directed toward us, personally. This “me first” mindset is hard-wired into our DNA…our DNA is selfish about 99.99% of the time.

The tougher path?

It’s the one that leads to serving others first. It goes against our wiring, which takes significant effort.

None of us will be perfect on this path. We’ll stumble, and we may even wander a bit. But, we can be a blessing for others along our journey, and that’s what we should be seeking.

The good news is that following this path gets easier with practice.

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That’s all great. But, what does your customer think?

The customer is the only reason we exist…

“We had an awesome meeting yesterday. We finalized our growth plans for next year. We’ll be presenting them to the CFO next week.”

“That conference was amazing. The speakers really hit the nail on the head about what’s coming in our industry.”

“We finished all the employee reviews before the deadline. We start every year with this fire drill! I’m glad that’s behind us!”

“This new software update will finally fix our scheduling problems.”

“The year-end financials are done, and our tax filing is happening on time this year.”

“Our new branding colors are excellent. They really pop on our mobile app!”

“The holiday party committee met, and we’ve got our recommendations for the venue and party theme this year. When can we meet to finalize the plans so we can put money down on the venue?”

What do all of these have in common?

They’re all statements I’ve heard, or said, during my professional career. I could’ve rattled off 30 more sentences just like these. All would have represented important activities, milestones, discoveries, inventions, process improvements, or events within the companies I’ve managed (or owned).

But, none of them represented what our customers think. The customer, in this case, is the person or company that’s paying us for our products and services.

None of the sentences describe us communicating directly with our customers or our prospective customers.

None of them focus on why our customers use our products and services.

None provide a greater understanding of how our customers relate to us.

None help us understand how important we are (or aren’t) in their life.

Are we just a faceless machine that delivers something our customer needs at this moment? Are we merely a utility to them?

If we disappeared tomorrow, would they miss us?

Do they know who we are as a company? Do they know anything about our values? Do we know what our values are at this company?

Do they care about our branding colors, or that we’re having a nice holiday party this year? Probably not.

Even when we fail to ask, our customers have powerful ways to tell us how we’re doing:

When they continue paying us, we know that they value what we’re doing today. They haven’t found anyone else who does it better, cheaper, or both. They haven’t found anyone that they think cares more about them than we do. We’ve won today.

When they call or write to complain or ask for something new and improved, we can infer that they care enough to ask. They trust that we’ll listen. Our response lets them know whether their trust is well-placed, or not.

Winning today is nice. Winning tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year is far more important when it comes to customers.

While we take care of all the tasks associated with keeping our organization afloat, it’s easy to forget why our organization exists in the first place: to serve our customers and attract new ones.

The customer is the only reason we exist.

Something to keep in mind the next time you put off calling your customer back until after you’ve finalized your company’s holiday party plans.

P.S. This riff about customers applies to our internal customers as well. After all, our internal customers are often the ones who deliver service to our external customers. If we fail to serve our internal customers, you can easily guess what’s going to happen to our external customers.

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Quick, what time is it?

How do you define these words?

Urgent

Immediately

Now

Soon

Quick

Timely

How do you define these words?

Urgent

Immediately

Now

Soon

Quick

Timely

Each organization (each person), has their own definition for these words.

How your organization defines these words says a lot about its culture.

Does urgent mean before lunch today, sometime later today, or just this week?

How about immediately? Before noon? Today? This minute? Now?

How is now defined? At this moment? Sometime today? Is the customer on the phone now, waiting for our answer?

How soon is this due? Soon? Is that this week, next week? Next quarter? Or is soon the word your manager uses for a non-specific point in the future when something good is supposed to happen…but rarely does?

Quick, tell me how your department defines quick. Is quick the same as now? Is it the word someone uses to interrupt your train of thought so you can answer their question…usually preceded by the word “really” as in, “really quick, can you tell me the cost code for that department?”

We’d all like a timely response to our inquiry. Is that now, next week, next month, or next quarter? Isn’t timely the thing we say when we’re trying to be official with someone…sort of channeling our “inner lawyer,” to give ourselves a bit more time?

Consider how the definitions change, depending on the time of year. Are we approaching the end of the month, the quarter, or the year? Are we on track to hit our goals (whatever they are)?

Is the boss stopping by today? This week? If so, does that create a new definition for soon, or urgent?

These words define the rhythm, even the “musical” timing of an organization. Find yourself out of step with that rhythm and you’ll be making noise instead of music.

You might move faster than your organization. This is great at first but generally leads to frustration as you wait for the organization to catch up with you. Imagine if soon means within 30 days to you, but the same word means sometime next year to your organization.

On the other hand, the organization may move at a faster pace than you prefer. Everything is urgent and immediate. You feel like you’re behind all the time, barely able to catch your breath.

In these situations, you have a challenge (and an opportunity):

convince the organization to move at your pace, or
modify your pace to match the organization, or
find an organization that already moves at your preferred pace.

Easy, right?

As impossible as this challenge sounds, time alignment is critical to your long-term job satisfaction.

The question is: Are you making noise or music?

The answer lies in aligning your definition of time.

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Desire and Appreciation

When was the last time you purposely spent time appreciating your life and the people you love?

“…people are programmed to desire, not to appreciate.” –Matt Ridley

Imagine if we had the ability to appreciate as much as we desire.

Imagine if the things we appreciated were all that we desire.

We might not get as much accomplished, but we’d probably be a little happier. Maybe, a little more content.

As infants, we’re 99.99% desire. It’s the only way we can survive, connect, learn, and thrive.

As we grow, our desires get more advanced. We visualize, fantasize, dream, and hope. We talk about the things we’re going to do, the places we’ll see, the people we’ll meet, the mountains we’ll climb.

In all of this, there’s little time for appreciation. We don’t have time to reflect. We’re too busy fulfilling our dreams, finding the next challenge, quenching our desire.

When was the last time you purposely spent time appreciating your life and the people you love?

When was the last time you purposely spent time appreciating yourself and the positive impact you have on the world?

Maybe it’s time.

Desire, with all its motivation and energy, is critical to our success.

But appreciation brings meaning to that success. It makes our success (however we define it) matter.

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Begin with I Don’t Know

A powerful thing happens when we begin with I don’t know…

It’s easy to assume we know everything, or everything that matters.

If not, we can comfort ourselves that at least we know enough.

“Been there, done that,” is our unspoken mantra.

When we know, we feel the need to tell others.

When we know, there’s nothing more to learn.

When we know, listening is optional.

When we know, questions waste our time.

Curiosity and exploration are irrelevant.

A powerful thing happens when we begin with I don’t know.

We listen to others more than ourselves.

We open our mind.

We embrace the potential for change.

Curiosity and questions fuel our journey.

We become interested.

And, interesting.

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Never Hit on 13!

“Son, I’d just stay on that if I were you. Your job is to make the dealer bust. We’re countin’ on you to get this right.”

My new “mentor” spoke with a confidence borne of the many decades of experience showing on his weathered face.

I didn’t realize it, but the open seat I filled at the Blackjack table was the third-base seat. That meant I was the last player to get cards before the dealer.

He continued, since he must have figured this young fella sitting next to him could use some more of his wisdom. He could tell this was my first time playing Blackjack in Vegas. “If the dealer has a six or less, you make sure she gets the 10 card that’s sittin’ in that shoe. Do you realize how many 10 cards there are in that thing? Each one is a bust card for her.”

I hadn’t thought of it that way until he mentioned it. There are a ton of 10 cards in each deck…16 to be exact. And, if you add in the 8’s and 9’s, which are also bust cards for the dealer if she has a 14 or higher, that’s 24 cards out of 52 that are bust cards (nearly half).

I couldn’t believe I should stay on 13. The dealer was showing a 2 of clubs.

Two people had already hit and busted. My mentor’s wife stayed with her 18. My mentor stayed with his 20. Now all eyes were on me and my 13.

My $5 chip wasn’t the only money at risk. My mentor and his wife each had $25 chips up and they were counting on me to make the right choice.

Sure, there’s a bunch of 10 cards in there, but there’s also a bunch of non-10 cards. And, the dealer may have a 9 facing down, so that’s 11. A sure path to 21 and a rousing defeat for everyone at the table.

13 seemed a long way from 21 and not a very powerful way to win. It sure would be great if I drew a 7 or an 8 and could defend against the dealer’s next hit card.

What to do?

My new mentor could sense my quandary. He could see that this newbie had no idea how this game was played. “Son, remember your job. Make her bust.”

I decided to stay on my 13. The dealer turned over her down card. It was a King. She had 12. She hit and pulled a 10. Bust!

“Are you gonna let that $10 ride? Seems like you have the hang of that seat. Time to see what it can do for ya.”

Another decision. I looked at the other players and saw them putting up their new chips. My mentor and his wife were letting their $50 ride.

I left my chips up and waited for my cards. This time, the cards were in my favor and I had 20. My mentor had 12, and his wife had 17. The dealer was showing a 6.

“Looks like I’m in the third-base seat for this hand, since you’ve got a 20,” he said as he motioned that he’d be staying. I followed suit and stayed with my 20.

The dealer turned over her down card to reveal a Queen. She had 16 and was required to hit. Another Queen showed up. Dealer bust, again!

This “13 strategy” was showing some strength.

“Are you gonna let that ride again?”

Feeling a bit more comfortable with my situation, it was an easy decision to let my $20 ride for the next hand. Mr. Mentor and his wife let their $100 ride. They were on a roll!

This was more than I’d ever bet in Vegas. A whole $20! And my new friends each had $100 on the line! I could feel my heartbeat racing as the cards were dealt.

My mentor’s wife received a pair of Aces. My mentor had 17. I had 12. The dealer was showing a 4. This was a perfect setup for my new-found strategy.

The first two players each hit on their hands and received low cards. Both were still in and stayed. My mentor’s wife split her Aces and placed a new $100 chip on the table. The next card was an 8. She stayed with that hand. Her other Ace received a 10. Blackjack! The dealer paid her $150 in chips for that hand and moved on to Mr. Mentor. He stayed with his 17.

It was all up to me. That’s when things went sideways.

I started obsessing on the number 7. What if I stay and the dealer pulls a 7 out of the shoe? That would give her 21 (this all assumes that her down card is a 10, of course). If she gets a 21, she’d beat me and everyone else at the table.

But, if I got that 7, I’d have 19 and be sitting pretty against whatever she had.

Somehow, in the heat of that moment, I forgot about holding on 13 (or 12) if the dealer is showing a 6 or less. I just knew that the next card was a 7. That 7 was mine to take and I’d be saving the entire table from oblivion.

“Hit me!”

The dealer slid the card from the shoe. The world started moving in slow-motion. She slid the card over to my hand and turned it over. It was a 10! I busted. There went my $20!

It gets worse.

The dealer turned over her down card to reveal a King. She had 14 and was required to hit. You guessed it. That 7 card came up for her. She now had 21.

I had snatched defeat from the jaws of victory for myself and my fellow players. That 10 that I took should have busted the dealer, but it busted me and then everyone else at the table.

Ashamed, I looked at my fellow players, shaking my head and saying I was sorry for blowing it for them. Here was a group of strangers I’d only met a few minutes earlier and I’d let each of them down.

My mentor didn’t miss a beat. He tossed another $25 chip on the table and said, “Those cards don’t care about you. They don’t get nervous. They don’t care what happens. They play by their rules and that’s it. You knew your rules and ignored them…and that’s how this casino was built. You’re not the only one who forgets his rules when it matters most.”

I learned the importance of knowing my rules and playing by them. Every time. In every situation.

I don’t go to Vegas often. Whenever I go, I find time to play Blackjack, always from the third-base seat.

Note: The preceding may or may not have happened exactly as described. Either way, the lesson is clear. Rules matter…especially your rules. Know your rules before you play. Play by your rules when you play. Don’t lose sight of your rules when things get rough or when things look hopeless. If you stay true to your rules, you’ll win far more often than you lose.

Photo by Michał Parzuchowski on Unsplash

Always Better

Seeking better every day yields a compounding effect that far surpasses the value of merely being best for one day…

We’re taught at an early age to do our best. That we should strive to be the best.

Being the best is a great accomplishment.

Best student. Best musician. Best cook. Best athlete. Best employee. Best boss. Best entrepreneur. Best leader. Best parent. Best friend.

There are at least three problems with best:

Best is often a subjective comparison to the subset that’s around you. There’s a phrase, “big fish in a small pond,” that represents this well. You’re the best runner in your school. But, when it comes time to run against another school, your best isn’t good enough. You finish second in the race. Every time the subset gets larger, best gets redefined.

Best is a fleeting moment in time. You might be the best today, but what about tomorrow? Next week? Next year?

The value of best goes down quickly. Does it matter to your 48-year-old self that you were the best student (however that was measured) back in high school? Sure, it’s a proud accomplishment from your past, but does it really impact your life 30 years later?

I propose an alternative to being the best: being always better.

Consider the challenge and reward of always better:

No matter what measuring stick you use, if the goal is to always be better than yesterday, the challenge is clear, and the improvement is measurable.

There’s no place to hide when the goal is always better. No excuses for not improving, even just a little bit, from yesterday, last year, ten years ago.

Always better pits you against your past self. The subset never changes. It’s you.

If the definition of success is to always be better than before, you get to celebrate success every day that you improve.

What if you don’t improve today? That’s okay, we all have setbacks. Setbacks remind us not to take our improvements for granted. We get to see how great it is to come back to where we were, and then take another step toward our better self after that.

Seeking better every day yields a compounding effect that far surpasses the value of merely being best for one day.

Ask these questions of yourself:

What am I doing to improve today?

Am I focused on learning from my mistakes, or imagining a new way, and charting an improved course today?

Do I realize that each day is an opportunity to be better than yesterday?

Am I willing to challenge my own status quo, my comfort zone, today?

Am I a better student, musician, cook, athlete, employee, boss, entrepreneur, leader, parent, friend, or whatever else you find most important, than I was yesterday? If not, why not?

Ironically, if you work on always being better, there’s a good chance you’ll become the best. But you won’t care, because the reward you seek comes from the never-ending quest to be always better.

God gave us all weaknesses. It’s a blessing to find out what they are so we get a chance to turn them into our strengths.

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Yahtzee Lessons

I was probably seven when Grandma Anne taught me to play Yahtzee. I’d spend the night at her house with my cousin, Devin, and invariably, we’d be at her kitchen table, playing Yahtzee all afternoon.

It’s a simple game…on the surface.

Each player gets thirteen turns to complete their score card.

The top section of the score card consists of numbers 1 thru 6. You need to roll three ones, three twos, three threes, etc. to get your “minimums.” You could also roll four fives (or four of anything), which comes in handy if you were only able to roll two threes on a previous turn. The idea on the top section is to score at least 63 total points, so you can get the 35-point bonus.

Yahtzee! scores 50 points. That’s when you get all five dice to be the same during your turn. Some players focus solely on getting Yahtzee at the expense of everything else. The theory being that 50 points is huge, and if you get a second Yahtzee that one’s worth 100. Of course, the odds of getting a Yahtzee are against you, but the payoff is big when it happens.

Grandma was always clear that while a Yahtzee is nice, the most consistent winning strategy is to get your bonus on the top section. Rely on those 35 points as your foundation. A Yahtzee, or a big four-of-a-kind on the bottom section of the score card would be icing on the cake.

Relying on the foundational 35 and less on the Yahtzee probably explains many of the best decisions I’ve made in life.

Each turn, you roll five dice to start. You get two more rolls in your turn. Depending on what the dice show after your first roll, you may not need to take those additional rolls. Life is good when you roll a complete large straight or a Yahtzee on your first roll!

The bottom section of the score card has three-of-a-kind, four-of-a-kind, full house, small straight, large straight, Yahtzee! and Chance.

Chance comes into play when you’re rolling for something that doesn’t happen. Like, you already have your small straight, and now you’re rolling to complete a large straight. Unfortunately, that last number doesn’t come up. You count-up the total of all the dice and enter that number into Chance.

Chance is a lot like a mulligan in golf. A do-over. In this case, you get to capture some points even though the rolls failed to produce. They say there are no do-over’s in life, but I disagree. There are plenty of second chances, if you’re willing to ask for forgiveness (mostly from yourself), learn from your mistake(s) (hopefully), and try again.

How often do three sixes come up in a roll? How likely is it that you’ll be able to roll that one specific number you need to complete your straight or full house? When you’ve used up your Chance spot, and your rolls have led to nothing, which slot are you willing to sacrifice to end this turn? Odds and decisions.

Yahtzee seems like a game of chance. It’s much more. It’s a game of decisions and imperfect trade-offs.

After a while, we graduated to playing Triple Yahtzee, which entails playing three games simultaneously. You get 39 turns. One column is worth triple points, one is double points, and the last column is regular points.

The decisions and trade-offs from the “Single Yahtzee” game are in play, but now you want to maximize the point values in your triple column and consider sacrificing some of the slots in the regular column.

Don’t be fooled. Mastering Triple Yahtzee isn’t just triple the challenge. As in real life, something that should be only triple the challenge is often exponentially more challenging than it first appears.

What is the answer to all this exponential chaos? Methodical effort and focused strategy. The priorities and the strategy are defined. The decisions that follow from these priorities become clear. Maybe even simple.

There’s a certain genius in showing a seven-year-old the game of Yahtzee. They haven’t fully formed their approach to decision making. Success, failure, decisions, and sacrifices are in play with every turn. Excellent practice for the real thing.

Yahtzee illustrates how something completely random and driven by chance can be managed within a solid set of priorities and strategies.

I didn’t just get to learn about rolling dice, counting numbers, and making decisions. Grandma gave me the gift of lasting memories that I cherish to this day, playing Yahtzee at her kitchen table.

Now that I have six (!) grandkids of my own, I can’t wait to teach them the game of Yahtzee…and then, Triple Yahtzee!

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The Interview—7 topic areas to include every time you conduct an interview

The reality is that there aren’t any secrets to creating a perfect interview. Each interview is as unique as the human beings involved. Having said that…

Your success is all about “the people.” More specifically, your company’s success comes down to the employees you can attract, hire, train, grow, encourage, motivate, challenge, and retain. In most service-based companies, 95% of the company’s assets go home every night.

Employees make all that customer stuff possible with the skills and work they bring to your company.

A huge step in the “people” process is The Interview.

I call that meeting you’re having with a potential job candidate a recruiting interview. Why? Consider what’s happening. You’re attempting to recruit them to your company, and they’re attempting to recruit you into the belief that they’re the one you should select.

I’ve seen countless articles about ways to “ace an interview,” or “answer all the interview questions correctly,” or “how to control the interview process” from a candidate’s point of view. To be fair, I’ve also seen a bunch of articles about ways for the interviewer to “put the candidate on defense with curve-ball questions,” or “ways to get the candidate to tell you about their true selves,” or “how to use the secret questions Google (or Apple, or any other successful company) uses in their interviews.”

The reality is that there aren’t any secrets to creating a perfect interview. Each interview is as unique as the human beings involved. Having said that, I always try to get the following questions or topics into each recruiting interview I conduct (not necessarily in this order):

I’ve seen your written resume. Can you take a couple minutes and give me your verbal version? Also, tell me how you found us, and why you’re here today. I like this line of questions at the beginning because it gives the candidate open-ended questions to talk about their favorite subject (themselves). It also lets me see what they prioritize or emphasize. The answers to these questions usually lead to a series of follow-ups and propel the conversation in a way that most candidates find comfortable.

What do you know about our company and the position we’re trying to fill? This one lets me know if they’ve done any research on my company. At a minimum, have they looked at my company’s website for a few minutes? They can also tell me about people they know who either work for my company or people who have told them about my company. Do they have a sense of what makes this company special? Do they know the company’s position in the marketplace? What is their view of the company’s reputation?

Tell me about the training you received in your past positions. How did your training process go? What did you learn? This line of questions gets to how “trainable” someone is. It doesn’t matter if this is a 20-year veteran or someone who’s just out of high school or college. Getting them to talk about how they learned their craft, obtained their skills, hone their knowledge, their favorite classes, who taught them, etc., provides a window into their trainability. It’s also good in the interview to mention how important trainability is to you. You like a person who knows they don’t know everything (since none of us do), and who has the humility to know it’s okay to ask for help. This person will have to learn how to be successful within your company, regardless of their technical skill set. The trainability factor is critical in evaluating a candidate’s fit for your company.

This position works independently. You won’t have a manager or supervisor (or me) telling you what to do throughout the day. Tell me about how you’ve worked independently in your past positions. Do you consider yourself to be a self-starter? Are you someone who takes the initiative and runs with it? Tell me about a time when you took the initiative and delivered beyond the expectations of your managers. This line of questioning is obvious, and often people answer these questions with what they think you want to hear. It’s important to be thorough in this section of the interview and ask for examples. How do they anticipate taking the initiative, or being creative, within your company? It doesn’t matter that they don’t know anything about your environment. Ask anyway. See how they respond. You’re looking to see how engaged and creative this person will be in your environment.

The “goals” questions… These are so commonplace that they’re almost cliché. But, they’re worth asking: What are your goals with this position you’re applying for? What do you think is an ideal role for you in a year, two years, five years? How do you see this company fitting into your personal goals over the next 5 years? I’m interested in their personal goals, the vision they have of their future, and what they see as their future self. How does my company fit with their view of the future?

Do you have any hobbies? What are you most passionate about? What do you do when you’re not working? Often when the person tells me their hobby, I ask them how they got into that hobby, how long they’ve been doing it, what do they like about it…all focused on learning more about this person and what motivates them. If I happen to know anything about their hobby, I ask some specifics. If they say that they like to watch movies or read books, I ask them what they saw most recently or the last book they read. I want to see how they think on their feet, and again, what interests them the most…plus, I’m curious about them as a person.

I haven’t mentioned it yet, but I also spend time describing the company, its history, why I love it here, the position we’re trying to fill, the reasons the position we’re filling is difficult but rewarding, why it takes a special person to fill the role, and how important the role is within the company. I want the candidate to know what our company thinks is important, the values we have, and the culture we’re trying to create. The way a person fits into our specific company culture will be critical to their success. They may be the best fit technically for a job, but not fit in with the culture…a recipe for failure.

Wait, I thought there were only seven topics! True, but there’s one more thing to mention: the technical abilities of this candidate. The topics listed above will touch on the candidate’s technical skills (whether in accounting, programming, deep tissue massage, customer service, call center operations, marketing, ad copywriting, concrete finishing, auto mechanics, or any other skillsets you’re trying to hire). But, none of them directly test or assess a candidate’s actual skills. It turns out that it’s almost impossible to assess a candidate’s actual skills in an interview setting. Some companies require candidates to take a technical test, but that’s not a common practice. Beyond a technical test, you have their resume, the stories they’ve told you, your assessment of how they might fit within your organization, and then a leap of faith that they have the skills they’re representing. Not ideal, but that’s where your ability to assess and improve their performance (once they’re hired) enters the picture (and that’s a topic for another day).

Will these topics ensure a perfect interview? No. In fact, you may not get to cover one or more of these topics in the interview (which is a warning sign).

Will these topics guarantee you’ll always choose the perfect candidate? Again, no.

But, if you cover all these topics, your batting average will increase dramatically, and you might even hit the occasional home run.

It’s your turn: What other topics do you include in your interviews? Let me know in the comments section below.

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Advice for College Graduates

The college graduate is supposed to know “what they’ll be doing with their life,” or “where they’re going after graduation.” The real world is out there waiting for them to take it by the horns and wrestle it to the ground!

It’s graduation season. An exciting time! For the college graduate, this is an especially challenging time (whether the graduate realizes it or not). With other graduations that led up to this one (kindergarten, sixth grade, eighth grade, even twelfth grade), there wasn’t much of an expectation placed on the graduate to have things figured out.

Those prior graduations were mostly about celebrating the achievement and passing a milestone on the way to adulthood.

College graduation is different. The college graduate is supposed to know “what they’ll be doing with their life,” or “where they’re going after graduation.” The real world is out there waiting for them to take it by the horns and wrestle it to the ground!

Everyone assumes that since the college graduate spent most of their life getting an education, now’s the time when they should be ready to leap into the next stage of their life. Ready to go forth and conquer…following their dream and delivering on all that potential they’ve been gathering.

Listen to almost any commencement speech (there are some excellent ones on YouTube). The speeches often contain solid advice, encouragement, and usually a bit of a life story of the person giving the speech.

I’ve never delivered a commencement speech. I’m not sure how I’d approach such a talk, or what personal stories I’d tell. But, I know that my commencement speech would, at a minimum, cover this short list of items:

Life doesn’t come with an answer key.

The answer key is the Holy Grail of any textbook. Put simply, it contains all the answers. It can quickly tell us if we’re right or wrong. Of course, life doesn’t come with an answer key. In fact, many of the toughest problems you’ll face don’t have specific right or wrong answers.

To make it even more challenging, something that’s right for one person or situation is wrong for another.

How will you know when you’re right? You won’t get that luxury very often in life. But, I’ve found that when I narrow my focus on a problem or question down to its impact solely on me, I usually make the wrong choice. When I consider how the outcome of a problem or question will impact the people I love, the people I work with, and the people that rely on me, I usually make far better decisions.

Nobody will tell you if this or that will be on the exam.

This is sort of related to number one. The reality is that there are very few final exams in life, and nobody will tell you what’s on the exam. It’s up to you to determine what’s most important, not only to yourself but to your audience. In this case, your audience is anyone that matters to you. This could be a boss, a loved one, a work associate, or all of the above at the same time.

The project, assignment, or paper that’s due at the end of the semester doesn’t exist in the real world.

Sure, there will be deadlines, but the semester doesn’t end. Even if you’re working on a project at work, the work doesn’t end when you turn in that project. That project is probably part of an even larger project or set of projects that are all part of some larger strategy.

The project isn’t the goal, even when it’s consuming all your time and attention. Understanding how this project fits into the overall mission is what matters. When you learn to think about the bigger-picture goals, while focusing on the specifics of the project at hand, you’ll leap ahead of most people.

But, what if your work doesn’t seem to be part of anything larger. Maybe it isn’t, but that still doesn’t mean that it ends when you turn it in. Chances are that the work you’ve completed will take on a life of its own, and you’ll get to see that happen. You’ll also be called to defend it, especially when things go wrong. And, if you stay around long enough, you may be the person who works to replace the result of your prior work with a new and improved version.

To be successful, you must be willing to seek out the best solutions to problems and new challenges, even when those new solutions make something you did in the past obsolete.

Get used to the concept of constructive destruction, because it’s with you all the time. There’s a quote about the caterpillar thinking everything was over just before turning into a butterfly. For the butterfly to emerge, the caterpillar must cease to exist. In fact, the caterpillar works its entire life to fulfill the goal of destroying itself so it can become the butterfly.

When you create something or become part of something that’s successful, always be on the lookout for ways to improve upon that success. Celebrate the success, but never be satisfied. Always look for ways to tear down what you’ve built to make room for a new way of achieving that success. Trust me, if you’re not looking for, and embracing new possibilities, your competition will.

Life doesn’t divide itself into perfectly scheduled segments like school does.

This isn’t entirely true. Life has years, and each year has four quarters. When each year ends, you’ll be asked to look back (if only briefly) and tell Uncle Sam about how you did, financially. And, Uncle Sam will want to share in whatever you did in the prior year.

Most companies, whether privately- or publicly-held (or governmental agencies) operate on an annual financial reporting calendar. They look at their performance monthly, quarterly, and annually. This cycle will become a constant for you in almost any line of work. It’s a cycle that will have even greater importance to you as your level of responsibility within an organization grows.

What did you do this year? How does that compare to last year? How does this quarter compare to the same quarter last year? What are you expecting to happen in the next quarter, the next year?

Ironically, one thing most people are missing when they graduate is a working knowledge of how income taxes, property taxes, Social Security taxes, Medicare taxes, and the IRS operate.

Always think of your accounting systems (whether personal or business) as a conversation between you and the IRS. Be prepared for a conversation with an IRS auditor, always maintain copious records of your financial activities, and take an active role in planning your financial strategies with their tax implications in mind. The day may never come where you’re asked to defend yourself in an audit, but if you’re purposely and actively preparing for that day, it won’t be a problem.

This reminds me to mention that as smart as you are, you will need some expert advisors in your lifetime. Examples are CPA’s, financial planners, insurance agents, and attorneys. Don’t be afraid of these folks. In fact, seek them out as early in your life as possible. They will help you understand a complex web of rules and strategies that are best to learn when you’re young. Don’t wait twenty years to find these people. By then, you’ve probably caused a bunch of financial damage for yourself without even knowing it. On all things financial, start early, be consistent, and understand that you aren’t as smart as you think you are when it comes to finance. None of us are.

Mentors matter more than money.

Hopefully, by now you’ve had at least one teacher, coach, or professor who you can call a mentor. They pushed you farther than you thought you could go. They asked all the tough questions…and then they took the time to listen to you and challenge some of the nonsense you gave as your answers.

I can’t over-emphasize the importance of mentors in your life. Find them, listen to them, and let them elevate you beyond anything you can imagine.

One thing most of us need is a little more humility, and openness to new ideas. A good mentor is great for tearing down the barriers we erect around ourselves to shield us from our humility.

Mentors tell you what just happened in that meeting where you thought everything went great, but the opposite is true.

They tell you the “why” when you’re only thinking about the “what” of a situation.

Building lasting relationships is more important than money.

This is a cousin to the one about mentors. Friends and loved ones bring beauty to our lives. If you’re presented with a set of career options that force you to sacrifice your friends and loved ones along the way, find new options. It’s as simple as that.

I’ve heard that if you have a friend for 10 years, they become a family member to you on a subconscious level. I buy this theory, wholeheartedly.

Lasting relationships are built. They take time. They take effort. They take patience. They require you to care about someone else at least as much as you care about yourself.

By the way, it’s much easier to get a job when you’re referred or recommended by a friend. It’s also an awesome feeling to know that you helped one of your friends find a rewarding career.

Okay, we’re running out of time, so here are some rapid-fire things to remember (in no particular order):

The popular kids aren’t always the ones with the answers or the ones having the best time. Seek out the quiet ones, the ones who spend their time listening more than speaking.

Be sure to attend as many weddings as possible. As a college graduate, you’ll get your fill of weddings for the next 5-7 years. Enjoy them. Let the positive vibes energize you.

Listening is the key to your success. Always be ready to listen. You’ll find a lot more correct answers in your life when you listen.

Resist the temptation to panic. It’s easy to become overwhelmed or perceive yourself as being overwhelmed, and then to panic. Panic is a fight-or-flight mechanism and usually doesn’t have any use in our daily lives. This may sound easy to you now, but you’ll face more than your share of “panic-worthy” moments in your life. Don’t panic!

If you’ve made a bad decision, make another decision and undo the bad one. Don’t just live with your bad decision. This also sounds easy, but this is a tricky one. Things like pride, sunk costs, and pride (yep, it deserves to be repeated) will get in your way (if you allow them).

Don’t waste time second-guessing your choices. “Wait!?” you’re saying. “What about the one above that talks about having the courage to change a bad decision?” You’ll make lots of decisions that aren’t bad, and still, you’ll be tempted to second-guess them. The challenge with most decisions is that the other alternative has its attraction. This means you may be tempted to look back and let your mind imagine how things could be if only you’d chosen that other good alternative. This is a fool’s errand. It’s a form of self-torture and most of us are experts at it.

You are the most powerful enemy you’ll ever face. You know all the right buttons to push. You know all your weaknesses, all your fears. You know how to discredit your strengths. You have the most unfair advantage against yourself of anyone. That’s what makes you such a powerful enemy.

Last but not least. Your life is a journey, not a destination. If my daughters are reading this, I bet they’re rolling their eyes because they heard this a lot when they were kids. It’s so simple that it’s become a cliché.

Understand that with each finish line you cross (and you’ve just crossed a big one by graduating from college), there’s an infinite number of new starting lines waiting for you. I don’t mention this to overwhelm you, but as a reminder that your journey is continuous and it’s where you’ll find the most happiness.

Find joy in each day…even the hard days when everything seems to be going against you. Enjoy the mundane chores of life. Embrace the quiet but don’t be afraid to make lots of noise. After all, shouldn’t this journey we’re on be filled with fun?

Enjoy the small pleasures that come from being present in the moment, present for the people you love, and aware of just how fortunate you are to be alive each and every day.

Photo by Vasily Koloda on Unsplash