Teachers – Grandpa Bob Encouraging Leadership

Nothing You Love is Lost

“Nothing you love is lost. Not really. Things, people – they always go away, sooner or later.

You can’t hold them any more than you can hold moonlight. But, if they’ve touched you, if they’re inside you, then they’re still yours.

The only things you ever really have are the ones you hold inside your heart.”

– Bruce Coville (h/t James Clear for sharing)

I’m working on a project for my kids and grandkids that has me writing answers to a series of about 75 questions. It’ll be an autobiography of sorts…a collection of memories and stories about life from my perspective.

While answering a question that asked me to describe a typical school day, I eventually got to my life in high school.

I found myself thinking about the first person who I’d known well that died.

Mr. McNally, my freshman pre-algebra and senior year chemistry teacher, was killed by a drunk driver who ran a red light and broadsided his vehicle.

I hadn’t thought about Mr. McNally for many years, but the moment I thought about my time in high school, all the wonderful memories about him came flooding back. I could see his witty smile; the lab coat he always wore in the chemistry lab. I remembered where I sat in the chem lab and the goofy glasses we had to wear when conducting experiments.

His untimely death was devastating news for our school and all of us who knew him. Mr. McNally was loved by his students. He was one of the special teachers in my life. The kind that not only teaches their subjects extremely well but had a profound impact on my growth as a person.

The unfortunate truth about life is that as the years go by, you’ll have to say goodbye to countless special people. Family members. Friends. Teachers.

Some will die, some will move away. In each case, we will lament that it was too soon. Their departure leaves a shadow on our soul where once they belonged.

I think the most powerful part of Coville’s quote is the way it highlights the transience of love and our relationships. We can’t grasp or possess the moonlight, but we can admire it and the feeling it gives us. Similarly, we can’t possess the people or experiences we love. We can only cherish the memories and the impact they’ve had on us, and hope that we were able to return a positive impact to them.

Coville’s quote encourages us to appreciate the moments and connections we have while we have them. Knowing that if they end, the love we shared with them and their significance endures, enriching our lives.

May the memories you have of your loved ones remain with you always, and may those memories be a source of light and inspiration even as your journey continues without them.

I have one favor to ask. If you enjoyed this post, please forward it to others.

p/c – Mike Labrum – Unsplash.com

The Gentle Shepherd

This poem is dedicated to the Gentle Shepherds God brings to each of us as we make our way along His path…

Our pastor recently announced that he’ll be leaving our parish after serving here for 10 years. Needless to say, he has had a profoundly positive impact on all of us, and he will be dearly missed.

During his homily last Sunday, announcing that he’ll be returning home to Spain in a few short months, I kept hearing the words, Gentle Shepherd, in my mind.

I realized these words were describing the amazing and loving man who was speaking to his flock about trusting God and the path He has for each of us.

Inspired by Father Sergio’s loving service to our parish and his homily last Sunday, this poem is dedicated to the Gentle Shepherds God brings to each of us as we make our way along His path:

The Gentle Shepherd

Graced with the compassionate love of God,

Through valleys of darkness, and deserts of despair,

He humbly guides his flock.

He is the Gentle Shepherd.

With fidelity to God and His Church,

Our shepherd shares with us the Word of God,

Unwrapping its sacred mysteries for all to hear.

He is the Gentle Shepherd.

Strengthened by our loving God,

He brings great tidings of joy and mercy,

Of God’s forgiveness and redemption.

He is the Gentle Shepherd.

He trusts and serves the Lord,

His purposes and His desires,

By loving and protecting each of his flock.

He is the Gentle Shepherd.

May the Lord’s blessings always shine down upon our Gentle Shepherd.

-Bob Dailey, 2022

Overcoming the Weed-Out

In the tenth week as we handed-in our last project and prepared to take the final exam, there were only 9 of us…

They’re called weed-out classes. The classes in every major designed to weed-out the pretenders, the students who can’t hack it, the ones who just don’t have what it takes.

They usually come around the third year…just when you think you’re pretty good at this stuff, and after you’ve committed two-plus years of your life to this major.

There were a couple of doozies in my major, Computer Information Systems. But, none compared to CIS 324—Database Programming. On the first day of class, Dr. Stumpf said he wouldn’t be surprised if we’d be in the computer lab 40-60 hours per week, just to complete the four main programming projects. We’d also have a mid-term and a final that covered all the database theory we were supposed to be learning while completing the projects.

To make things tougher, each project picked up where the last one left off. So, if you stumbled on the first project, you were setting yourself up for a potentially unrecoverable torture test in the second, third, and fourth projects.

It didn’t matter that you had other classes, or that you had a life that included working 30-40 hours per week. This was CIS 324. The weed-out class.

There were 26 of us in class that first day. I remember the number because two people wanted to add the class, and Dr. Stumpf was concerned because we only had 24 chairs in the classroom. That wouldn’t be a problem for long.

Five weeks and two projects later, there were 18 of us in class. The others had dropped.

Seven weeks and three projects later, we were down to 11. This was long before Survivor, but students voted themselves off the island nearly every week.

Dr. Stumpf took it all in stride. This type of attrition was normal. The students who didn’t make it would try again next quarter, or they’d re-evaluate their choice of major and never be back.

In the tenth week as we handed-in our last project and prepared to take the final exam, there were only 9 of us. By now, we knew each other well. We had spent many hours together in one of the computer labs (this was a bit before the days when you could use your PC to connect remotely). We were in every class, pulling for each other.

We were part of this small band of students about to make it through Dr. Stumpf’s CIS 324 class.

Looking back at those ten weeks, I don’t remember much detail about the projects. I remember the long nights in the computer lab, the endless diagrams, and lines of code. There was an amazing vending machine just outside the lab that dispensed ice cream bars for 30 cents apiece. I lived on ice cream bars and Mountain Dew that quarter.

I remember coming to each class, especially on the days our projects were due, wondering who’d be there and who’d be gone. I remember Dr. Stumpf congratulating each of us when we handed in our final exams on the last day of class.

Since CIS 324, I’ve faced lots of “weed-out” tests, whether I knew it or not. I’ve taken on projects that were way over my head. I’ve asked myself to deliver “the impossible” more than a few times.

Were these real-life weed-out situations harder than my CIS 324 experience? Definitely. And, many lasted a lot longer than ten weeks.

But, the experience of overcoming my first weed-out test made it easier to pass the next one. And, passing the second weed-out made it easier to pass the third.

Overcoming all these weed-out tests had five things in common:

If I focused on the ultimate and final deliverable on the first day, I would have given up. The only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. It’s the same with overwhelming challenges. Break them down to their next indicated step and take that step with confidence and an open mind. That will lead to the next step…

It’s easy to feel alone in these weed-out tests. But, I was never alone, even when it felt that way. I found allies, sounding boards, mentors, people willing to join my cause, people I could trust. These people made all the difference.

Related to the above: Never forget the people who helped when you needed it most. Make sure they know how grateful you are for their help. Be there for them. They’re facing weed-out tests of their own and can use your help.

No matter how unique you think your weed-out situation is, it isn’t. Someone else has probably faced a similar challenge and lived to tell about it. Take the time to review what others have learned and apply it to the test you’re facing.

Don’t let your success on this test go to your head. Sure, it’s a great achievement. Have a nice dinner to celebrate. Enjoy the accomplishment. But, stay humble. Humility is the foundation for overcoming your next big, scary weed-out test.

Friedrich Nietzsche said, “That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.”

When we take the time to temper that strength with humility, we’re preparing ourselves to take on the next weed-out challenge that’s surely coming our way.

Photo by Jonny Caspari on Unsplash

Yahtzee Lessons

I was probably seven when Grandma Anne taught me to play Yahtzee. I’d spend the night at her house with my cousin, Devin, and invariably, we’d be at her kitchen table, playing Yahtzee all afternoon.

It’s a simple game…on the surface.

Each player gets thirteen turns to complete their score card.

The top section of the score card consists of numbers 1 thru 6. You need to roll three ones, three twos, three threes, etc. to get your “minimums.” You could also roll four fives (or four of anything), which comes in handy if you were only able to roll two threes on a previous turn. The idea on the top section is to score at least 63 total points, so you can get the 35-point bonus.

Yahtzee! scores 50 points. That’s when you get all five dice to be the same during your turn. Some players focus solely on getting Yahtzee at the expense of everything else. The theory being that 50 points is huge, and if you get a second Yahtzee that one’s worth 100. Of course, the odds of getting a Yahtzee are against you, but the payoff is big when it happens.

Grandma was always clear that while a Yahtzee is nice, the most consistent winning strategy is to get your bonus on the top section. Rely on those 35 points as your foundation. A Yahtzee, or a big four-of-a-kind on the bottom section of the score card would be icing on the cake.

Relying on the foundational 35 and less on the Yahtzee probably explains many of the best decisions I’ve made in life.

Each turn, you roll five dice to start. You get two more rolls in your turn. Depending on what the dice show after your first roll, you may not need to take those additional rolls. Life is good when you roll a complete large straight or a Yahtzee on your first roll!

The bottom section of the score card has three-of-a-kind, four-of-a-kind, full house, small straight, large straight, Yahtzee! and Chance.

Chance comes into play when you’re rolling for something that doesn’t happen. Like, you already have your small straight, and now you’re rolling to complete a large straight. Unfortunately, that last number doesn’t come up. You count-up the total of all the dice and enter that number into Chance.

Chance is a lot like a mulligan in golf. A do-over. In this case, you get to capture some points even though the rolls failed to produce. They say there are no do-over’s in life, but I disagree. There are plenty of second chances, if you’re willing to ask for forgiveness (mostly from yourself), learn from your mistake(s) (hopefully), and try again.

How often do three sixes come up in a roll? How likely is it that you’ll be able to roll that one specific number you need to complete your straight or full house? When you’ve used up your Chance spot, and your rolls have led to nothing, which slot are you willing to sacrifice to end this turn? Odds and decisions.

Yahtzee seems like a game of chance. It’s much more. It’s a game of decisions and imperfect trade-offs.

After a while, we graduated to playing Triple Yahtzee, which entails playing three games simultaneously. You get 39 turns. One column is worth triple points, one is double points, and the last column is regular points.

The decisions and trade-offs from the “Single Yahtzee” game are in play, but now you want to maximize the point values in your triple column and consider sacrificing some of the slots in the regular column.

Don’t be fooled. Mastering Triple Yahtzee isn’t just triple the challenge. As in real life, something that should be only triple the challenge is often exponentially more challenging than it first appears.

What is the answer to all this exponential chaos? Methodical effort and focused strategy. The priorities and the strategy are defined. The decisions that follow from these priorities become clear. Maybe even simple.

There’s a certain genius in showing a seven-year-old the game of Yahtzee. They haven’t fully formed their approach to decision making. Success, failure, decisions, and sacrifices are in play with every turn. Excellent practice for the real thing.

Yahtzee illustrates how something completely random and driven by chance can be managed within a solid set of priorities and strategies.

I didn’t just get to learn about rolling dice, counting numbers, and making decisions. Grandma gave me the gift of lasting memories that I cherish to this day, playing Yahtzee at her kitchen table.

Now that I have six (!) grandkids of my own, I can’t wait to teach them the game of Yahtzee…and then, Triple Yahtzee!

Photo by Lea Böhm on Unsplash

The Power of Repetition

Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their party…and other drills.

We’re each born without skills.

We don’t know how to play the piano, hit a tennis ball, type a letter, program a computer, balance a checkbook, climb a mountain, drive a car, wake surf, back up a semi-trailer, finish concrete, ride a bike, race a motorcycle, fix an engine, pilot an airplane, or just about anything else.

Fortunately, humans are learning machines. Watch a toddler for even a few minutes and you’ll see an aggressive and insatiable quest to imitate, experiment, test limits, check for patterns, see what works, see what parents allow, and see what happens when they push certain buttons (real and metaphorical). Amazingly, they’re doing these things before they can walk or talk.

Toddlers also have an almost unending desire to “do it again.” If throwing the ball once is fun, it’s even more fun to go pick it up and throw it again, and again, and again.

I took a typing class in my freshman year of high school. There were about fifty students in the class. Half of the typewriters were electric (the new IBM Selectrics) and the other half was manual typewriters. Yes, I’m that old.

I started my year on a manual typewriter (we swapped to the Selectrics mid-year). This meant that at the end of each line, after hearing the ding, I had to reach up and manually return the carriage…and place my fingers back on the correct keys to continue typing. It also meant that my keystrokes had to be smooth, consistent and well-timed. Otherwise, the keys would jam on top of each other.

We started with the Home row. I must have typed ASDFJKL; a thousand times! Then, we added the G and the H to the home row drill. ASDFGHJKL; Again. Again. Again. Ding. Manual carriage return.

Did I mention that all the keys on the typewriters were blank? We were learning how to be “touch” typists. Looking at the keys was not an option. We had diagrams and workbooks that showed us what each key was, but nothing on the typewriter.

After mastering the Home row, we moved up to the QWERTY row. The row that gives the standard keyboard its name. QWERTYUIOP Again. Again. Again. Again.

Next, the drills included the Home row and the QWERTY row at the same time. We were typing letters in random order from both rows. QPJHFDRT Again. Again. Again. Ding. Manual carriage return.

Finally, we moved to the dreaded bottom row. ZXCVBNM,. I hated the Z. The Z is in an awkward spot. It requires pinky strength and dexterity in the left hand. A tall order for a right-hander. A right-hander who had broken his left pinky a few years earlier (another long story).

Now our drills included all three rows, and all in random order.

Oh yeah, every drill was being timed. We started and stopped each drill as a class and typed the drills until we heard the ringing of the clock.

The drills got harder, included more randomness, and both upper-, and lower-case letters. Again. Again. Again.

I don’t remember how many weeks we spent on all these drills, but one day our teacher told us we’d be typing actual sentences. One more thing: our typing speed would be measured in words-per-minute.

Any mistakes would subtract one word from our score, so accuracy mattered.

How could this be? We’d never typed sentences before. We weren’t ready to be tested…on real sentences. We were just getting good at the drills. We had practiced proper hand position, proper finger curl, proper posture. But, this was uncharted territory.

“Ready? Begin.”

“Now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of their party.”

“The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.”

Why do I remember these two sentences? They’re classic typing drill sentences. They each use almost all the letters in the alphabet and require the typist to jump between all the rows. I typed these two sentences continuously during the day of our first typing test.

I realized I was actually typing! Not just a drill, but two real sentences. I was typing them quickly…even on a manual typewriter.

After that first day of testing, we typed many more sentences. We learned about the structure of various business letter formats. We typed information into practice forms. We keyed numbers into columns. We centered text. All before spreadsheets or word processors made these simple tasks.

Our teacher provided the drills, the structure, and the discipline. We drilled, practiced, and drilled again. And, again.

We were touch typists, using the skills we learned through repetition. I was having my own “Wax on…wax off,” moment before Karate Kid was a movie.

Fast forward 35 years. I’m still learning new skills. Practicing. Making mistakes. Sometimes pushing too hard. Sometimes jamming my keys in the process. Always looking to improve.

Only with repetition can I learn, improve, and become.

Again. And, again.

Photo by Jason Yu on Unsplash

Cage Fights, Roulette and the Law of Large Numbers

When you enter the octagon (speaking metaphorically, but maybe literally), it’s just you and your opponent…

When you enter the octagon (speaking metaphorically, but maybe literally), it’s just you and your opponent. Only your strength, skill, speed, luck, stamina, cunning, toughness and courage will help you find victory.

If you play roulette, the chance that the ball will land on red or black is the same…a little over 47%. Remember the green 0 is in there to mess things up.

But, what if you only have the time and money to play roulette for ten spins? Will the distribution of red and black numbers come out to just over 47% each? Maybe, but probably not.

What if you could spin the wheel 1,000 times? Would the distribution of red and black approach 47% each? That’s much more likely. In fact, the Law of Large Numbers says as much.

What about that cage fight? Theoretically, you have a 50% chance of winning, all things being equal.

Of course, all things are never equal in a cage fight (or real life).

The other guy is meaner, stronger, faster, and more skilled. You didn’t sleep well last night, you have that nagging knee injury that always shows itself at the wrong time. You don’t punch very hard, and you’ve heard that he has a great ground game. You have no idea what having a great ground game means, but it sounds dangerous, and that was the sound of the bell.

How’s that 50% chance looking? More like 5%, or maybe 1%.

What if you could fight the guy 1,000 times? Would your chances improve? Would you ever approach the 50% mark? Would you survive to find out? Probably not.

The good news is we don’t have to count on the Law of Large Numbers. And, while it’s nice to say that we can count on ourselves, it’s even better to know that we can count on our family, friends, associates, co-workers, teammates, competitors (yes, indeed), and countless others to help us achieve our victories.

You don’t have family, friends, associates, co-workers, teammates, competitors or countless others who can help you?

Then, your cage match is going to be all about how you become one or more of these things for someone else. Look around for who you can help. Who can you befriend? Who can you support? Who can you encourage?

In life, the largest number in the Law of Large Numbers is you and your tireless and relentless effort to make a difference for someone else.

Each of us has our own cage match to fight, often with ourselves. Wouldn’t it be great to see what you can do to help someone else win theirs?

Trust me. You’ll find your own path to victory along the way.

P.S. There’s not much anyone can do to help you win at roulette, but I always recommend 32 red.

Photo Credit: Unsplash, Joshua Clay

Will This Be On The Test?!?!

I’m told that this is one of the top questions students (and parents) ask of teachers.

Test questions in school come in many standard forms: true or false, multiple choice, essay…just to name a few. Oh yeah, and word problems! Decipher the riddle, find all the numbers that fit into formulas, and arrive at an answer (hopefully, the correct one). And, of course, remember to show your work.

We’re taught in school that there is only one correct answer to most questions. Columbus discovered the New World in 1492, not 1493. It takes two hydrogens and one oxygen to make water, not two oxygens and one hydrogen. The student’s job is to learn (memorize?) the correct answers and then “ace” their test by answering all of the questions correctly.

It’s no wonder students ask what will be on their tests. After all, their grade is in play. Who wouldn’t want to know what they should study, and what they can ignore? So much is riding on the outcome.

Tests outside of school aren’t as easy. The questions don’t come from our teachers. Variables are often missing, and formulas rarely provide one definitive answer. They aren’t always fair. They don’t come with a study guide. There’s no advice about what should be studied, or ignored. Real life tests come from our family, friends, customers, co-workers, managers, elected officials, our children’s teachers, strangers, and ourselves…on a daily basis. A lot more than a grade is in play with most of these tests.

Attention to detail, listening to what is said and unsaid, curiosity, creativity, openness to risk, connecting with others we trust, and a clear sense of right and wrong are the guides we have in answering the real life test questions we face.

What’ll be on your next test? Everything you’ve experienced in life up to this point, and probably a few things you haven’t seen before. Here’s hoping you studied well.

Test Question: What’s the connection between this post and the sunrise photo?

Wanna Learn Something? Think Like a Teacher!

You try to listen and stay focused. Your mind wanders a bit. You force it back in line. After all, there may be something useful here that you can apply to your work…

You’re sitting in a training class. The instructor is describing some new set of management concepts or the latest system enhancements. You try to listen and stay focused. Your mind wanders a bit. You force it back in line. After all, there may be something useful here that you can apply to your work.

Later, someone asks you how the class went. You shrug your shoulders, reporting that you learned a couple of new things. You then have trouble describing what you’ve learned. Not an inspiring endorsement.

Imagine the same training class. But, now you’re there to learn the material well enough to present the same class to another group next week.

You don’t get to pick and choose what applies to your work. You need to learn the subject in its entirety. Preparing to teach a subject requires active learning. You’ll watch how the material is presented, the visual aids and examples the presenter uses, and the way the presenter moves around the room. Nothing less than full mastery of the information will suffice. Anything less could lead to failure when it’s your turn to teach.

Do yourself a favor. Prepare like a teacher, learn like a teacher, and think like a teacher. The truth is, you will be teaching this class next week…to yourself, as you try to remember and apply what you learned in the class.