Friends – Encouragement is Personal

The Right People

What makes them the right people? What makes it the right time?

List some of the “usual” milestones in life:

Birth (obviously)
First day of school
First kiss
Prom
Driver’s license
First job
Graduating from high school
Leaving for college (if you leave home)
Graduating from college
Getting your first “real job”
Getting married
Buying your first house
Having kids
Getting promoted
Starting your own business
Getting your first boat (or other big toy)
Selling that big toy
Seeing your kids graduate from high school, college, etc.
Retirement

The list is unending and varies for each individual.

There’s another list that matters even more. Your list of power moments. Moments that happen, usually out of nowhere, that change the direction of your life. These moments make your milestones possible.

Here are just a few of mine (there are many more):

Meeting a lifelong friend while microwaving a frozen burrito at work.
Playing bingo for the first time in my life and meeting the woman I would marry a few years later.
Accidentally taking an introduction to computers class that convinced me to change my major and never look back.
Running a warm-up lap and finding myself on the pole vault squad at the end of that lap.
Out of curiosity, attending the first HOA Board meeting after buying our house and getting elected to serve with someone I would never have met otherwise…and having him as a friend for nearly 28 years (and counting).
Getting a phone call from that lifelong frozen burrito friend, asking if I know anything about the notary business. My answer was, “No.” I took the job anyway and began an awesome thirteen-year odyssey at that company.

It turns out that most of the power moments in our lives are chance encounters with the right people at the right time.

What makes them the right people? What makes it the right time?

I doubt we will ever know, but I bet it has more to do with openness than anything else. Our openness to this new person, their ideas, their strengths, their weaknesses. Our openness to letting these people impact our lives more than they will ever know, and without even trying.

I’ve heard it said that we’re less than five degrees of separation from everyone else on the planet. While that may be true, I believe we’re only one person away from the next bold chapter in our journey through life…if we’re open to the possibilities.

Photo Credit: Unsplash.com, Treza Trisnandhy

Cage Fights, Roulette and the Law of Large Numbers

When you enter the octagon (speaking metaphorically, but maybe literally), it’s just you and your opponent…

When you enter the octagon (speaking metaphorically, but maybe literally), it’s just you and your opponent. Only your strength, skill, speed, luck, stamina, cunning, toughness and courage will help you find victory.

If you play roulette, the chance that the ball will land on red or black is the same…a little over 47%. Remember the green 0 is in there to mess things up.

But, what if you only have the time and money to play roulette for ten spins? Will the distribution of red and black numbers come out to just over 47% each? Maybe, but probably not.

What if you could spin the wheel 1,000 times? Would the distribution of red and black approach 47% each? That’s much more likely. In fact, the Law of Large Numbers says as much.

What about that cage fight? Theoretically, you have a 50% chance of winning, all things being equal.

Of course, all things are never equal in a cage fight (or real life).

The other guy is meaner, stronger, faster, and more skilled. You didn’t sleep well last night, you have that nagging knee injury that always shows itself at the wrong time. You don’t punch very hard, and you’ve heard that he has a great ground game. You have no idea what having a great ground game means, but it sounds dangerous, and that was the sound of the bell.

How’s that 50% chance looking? More like 5%, or maybe 1%.

What if you could fight the guy 1,000 times? Would your chances improve? Would you ever approach the 50% mark? Would you survive to find out? Probably not.

The good news is we don’t have to count on the Law of Large Numbers. And, while it’s nice to say that we can count on ourselves, it’s even better to know that we can count on our family, friends, associates, co-workers, teammates, competitors (yes, indeed), and countless others to help us achieve our victories.

You don’t have family, friends, associates, co-workers, teammates, competitors or countless others who can help you?

Then, your cage match is going to be all about how you become one or more of these things for someone else. Look around for who you can help. Who can you befriend? Who can you support? Who can you encourage?

In life, the largest number in the Law of Large Numbers is you and your tireless and relentless effort to make a difference for someone else.

Each of us has our own cage match to fight, often with ourselves. Wouldn’t it be great to see what you can do to help someone else win theirs?

Trust me. You’ll find your own path to victory along the way.

P.S. There’s not much anyone can do to help you win at roulette, but I always recommend 32 red.

Photo Credit: Unsplash, Joshua Clay

Allies, Competitors, and Enemies…It’s All About You

Which will you create?

Human nature dictates that we will have allies, competitors, and enemies.

Allies agree with us. They’re willing to work with us toward a common goal.

Competitors don’t agree with our goals, and work against them. Competitors are a fact of life. The challenges of a strong competitor drive us to perform at levels we didn’t realize we had. Competition makes us stronger. There are winners and losers in every competition. If we lose, the lessons of that loss can make us stronger for the next competition.

Enemies are an entirely different matter. They aren’t just against our goals. They’re against us, personally. Winning the competition, whether it’s a battle of dollars, a battle for territory, or a battle for the hearts and minds of others, isn’t enough for an enemy. They want us to lose the competition, and be eliminated from future opportunities to compete.

These roles are often in flux. Allies can become competitors. Competitors can become enemies.

The transitions are usually a result of our actions. If we operate with life-giving values like honesty, integrity, trustworthiness, mutual respect, empathy, fairness, and a pursuit of mutual benefit, great things will happen.

Our allies will remain allies. Competitors are much less likely to become our enemies. They may even become new allies in the future.

Operating without life-giving values unleashes a torrent of negativity. You’ll have trouble keeping allies. Competitors will become enemies. Long-term success will slip from your grasp.

What about the people who don’t know you (yet)? The people you’d like to meet. The new customers you’d like to have. The new talent you hope to recruit to your company.

Will you create allies, competitors, or enemies? That all depends on you, and the values you live.