With the advent of the internet, and then smartphones, we’re able to access the outside world on-demand from just about anywhere. The flipside is that the outside world can access each of us just as easily.
Friends and colleagues can send us an email or text at any time. They can use a selection of apps to “ping” us from across the world with information, photos, articles, or project status updates.
And, although rare these days, people can even call us on our smartphone…trust me, it still happens.
In all these instances, the expectation is that we’ll be fully accessible, and ready to respond immediately to any and all issues, questions, or opportunities that come our way.
An immediate-response, immediate-judgment, immediate-decision-making model of interaction is the new norm. We train our brains to quickly scan complex situations with the goal of rendering snap decisions that we can provide as part of our response(s).
There’s just one problem: creating this speedy-response capability eliminates the one thing that many decisions (especially complex and long-term decisions) require: TIME
Time and space are exactly what we need to make our most effective decisions.
Time to absorb information at our own pace.
Time to immerse ourselves in a new situation before being forced to judge it or make decisions about it.
Consider the person who gets a new job. This new job is going to be amazing. It’s what they want to do, and it pays a lot more than their last job.
It’s normal to visualize all the ways to be successful in the new job. It’s normal to think of how to spend the new-found money.
It’s also normal that once the work starts, the new job won’t be as amazing as it seemed. After the first week, the job and the people at the new job may seem like a nightmare.
Or, the new job is as amazing as it appeared and the people are awesome. But the work is highly technical and challenging. Doubts can creep in about whether it’s a good skill set fit.
The truth is, in the first week (even the first month) of new things like jobs, relationships, or workout routines, we don’t know enough to judge. We may think we know. We don’t.
This is where the power of the “90-Day Rule” shows itself. What is the 90-Day Rule? It’s something I made up that says for the next 90 days, I’ll immerse myself in the new thing (job, workout routine, etc.) without any preconceived judgment, without any pressure to decide, and without any thoughts about alternatives.
If I’ve decided to do this new thing (after days, weeks, months, sometimes years of contemplation), I’m going to give it at least 90 days before judging it.
In the new job example, consider how freeing a 90-day moratorium on judgment will be. You’re not judging the new people. You’re not judging the new company. You’re not judging your ability to perform in the new job. You’re not even judging the commute.
No judgments means you can focus on what it takes to be as successful as possible in the new job. All the energy you would have focused on making judgments and other distracting decisions is channeled fully into the most valuable tasks.
What about all that new money you’re earning at this new job? What if you give yourself 90 days before spending it on all that new stuff? Have a nice dinner to celebrate the start, and then wait 90 days. You’ll have plenty of time to spend all this new money on the 91st day. What’s your hurry?
When was the last time you gave anything 90 minutes before passing judgment? It’s time to give important decisions at least 90 days before passing judgment.
You’ve decided on this course of action. Let it play out. Give it room. Let it breathe. See where it goes.
Give yourself the power of time.
Photo by Ümit Bulut on Unsplash