Teaching – Grandpa Bob Encouraging Leadership

Nothing You Love is Lost

“Nothing you love is lost. Not really. Things, people – they always go away, sooner or later.

You can’t hold them any more than you can hold moonlight. But, if they’ve touched you, if they’re inside you, then they’re still yours.

The only things you ever really have are the ones you hold inside your heart.”

– Bruce Coville (h/t James Clear for sharing)

I’m working on a project for my kids and grandkids that has me writing answers to a series of about 75 questions. It’ll be an autobiography of sorts…a collection of memories and stories about life from my perspective.

While answering a question that asked me to describe a typical school day, I eventually got to my life in high school.

I found myself thinking about the first person who I’d known well that died.

Mr. McNally, my freshman pre-algebra and senior year chemistry teacher, was killed by a drunk driver who ran a red light and broadsided his vehicle.

I hadn’t thought about Mr. McNally for many years, but the moment I thought about my time in high school, all the wonderful memories about him came flooding back. I could see his witty smile; the lab coat he always wore in the chemistry lab. I remembered where I sat in the chem lab and the goofy glasses we had to wear when conducting experiments.

His untimely death was devastating news for our school and all of us who knew him. Mr. McNally was loved by his students. He was one of the special teachers in my life. The kind that not only teaches their subjects extremely well but had a profound impact on my growth as a person.

The unfortunate truth about life is that as the years go by, you’ll have to say goodbye to countless special people. Family members. Friends. Teachers.

Some will die, some will move away. In each case, we will lament that it was too soon. Their departure leaves a shadow on our soul where once they belonged.

I think the most powerful part of Coville’s quote is the way it highlights the transience of love and our relationships. We can’t grasp or possess the moonlight, but we can admire it and the feeling it gives us. Similarly, we can’t possess the people or experiences we love. We can only cherish the memories and the impact they’ve had on us, and hope that we were able to return a positive impact to them.

Coville’s quote encourages us to appreciate the moments and connections we have while we have them. Knowing that if they end, the love we shared with them and their significance endures, enriching our lives.

May the memories you have of your loved ones remain with you always, and may those memories be a source of light and inspiration even as your journey continues without them.

I have one favor to ask. If you enjoyed this post, please forward it to others.

p/c – Mike Labrum – Unsplash.com

The Power of Multiplying Yourself: Why Training and Supporting Your Team Leads to Success

The belief that doing everything yourself is faster can limit growth. Training and empowering your team leads to expanded capabilities, time for strategic initiatives, and a strong organizational culture.

p/c: Andrea Gian – Unsplash

“It’ll be faster for me to just handle this task now and get it done.”

“It’ll take me more time to train someone how to do this than it will take me to do it myself.”

“I’ll just take care of this task myself and get it out of the way.”

Sound familiar?

It’s easy to fall into this trap of thinking that doing everything yourself is the most efficient way to get things done. This mindset not only limits your own growth and potential but also minimizes your team’s and your organization’s potential.

Investing your time in training and supporting your direct reports is not just beneficial—it’s essential for long-term success.

Here’s why:

Trust and Empowerment: When you take the time to train your team members, you show them that you trust their abilities. This trust fosters a sense of empowerment, motivating them to take on new challenges and responsibilities with confidence.

Expanded Capabilities: By preparing your team for their next levels of challenge, you expand their capabilities and push their limits outward. Consider this: Instead of just solving today’s problems, imagine if your team could handle tomorrow’s challenges without you needing to intervene. As they tackle new tasks and acquire new skills, they become stronger and more versatile contributors to the organization.

Time Management: While it may seem faster to handle tasks yourself in the short term, investing in training your team ultimately frees up your time for higher-level responsibilities. Imagine if you could focus on strategic initiatives, process improvement, and growth opportunities for the organization, rather than being bogged down in day-to-day tasks.

Cultural Impact: Creating a culture of learning and growth within your team not only boosts morale but also strengthens the entire organization. When your team members feel challenged and supported in their professional development, they’re more engaged and motivated to contribute their best work.

Preparation for Growth: By nurturing the skills and talents of your team members, you’re preparing the organization to adapt and grow. A team that is continuously learning and evolving is better equipped to handle the new challenges that are just around the corner (whether you see them coming, or not).

Neglecting your team’s development can have serious consequences. Employees who feel stagnant and unchallenged are more likely to become disengaged. Disengaged employees will leave, or worse, they’ll choose to stay and become seat warmers—adding nothing valuable to the organization.

People want to learn. They want to be challenged. They are most engaged when they’re pushing the boundaries of their capability, taking on new skills, and becoming more valuable to their organization.

The adage of “it’s faster to do it myself” is short-sighted and will limit your career growth.

Take the time to train and support your team. You will multiply your effectiveness and create a powerful culture of empowerment and continuous improvement within your organization.

The Delicate Balance of Telling and Teaching

Your role as the teacher and mentor is to prepare your mentee to work independently and effectively…

“I can’t believe she can’t tie her own shoes. She’s old enough to know by now.”

My friend was talking about his 5-year-old daughter at the time.

I asked if he’d ever taken the time to teach her how to tie her shoes. He stared at me and said that wasn’t his job and that she should have figured it out by now.

Why tell this story (which really happened!)?

To illustrate how important it is to teach and mentor others…whether they’re our kids, grandkids, employees, family, or friends.

It should be obvious that if you don’t teach, your student misses out on the chance to truly learn and grow. By choosing not to teach, you’re short-changing your mentee of the lessons you’ve learned through hard-earned experience.

In moments of urgency or simplicity, direct instructions are most appropriate, providing a clear roadmap for immediate action (telling).

But true teaching is the art of imparting understanding – the “why” behind actions. It requires a commitment of time and energy, and showcases the significance of tasks, the interconnections between steps, and the importance of specific approaches…usually through storytelling.

What kinds of stories? Stories that provide a personal connection, illustrate key points, and allow your learners to connect emotionally to what you’re teaching. Stories also help students drop their defensiveness toward receiving new information.

Another great teaching method is to ask questions. Questions encourage critical thinking. Ask the student why they think something is important, or how they view a situation. What would they do in the situation? What’s happening that may not be obvious? If their answers are incomplete or miss the nuances of a situation, you can provide additional perspectives and help them understand what to look for.

How can we tell stories and ask questions about something when it’s urgent? We already learned that in urgent situations, telling is often the most appropriate way of getting the right action quickly. To create truly teachable moments resulting from an urgent event, it’s critical that you take the time after the urgency has passed to discuss lessons learned, and maybe even how to avoid the urgency next time.

Your role as the teacher and mentor is to prepare your mentee to work independently and effectively. Not only how to tie their shoes, but why it’s important to tie them in the first place.

I have one favor to ask: If you find this information useful, please forward and recommend it to someone else. Thanks!

Years of Experience

The school of hard knocks never issues a diploma, but it does yield a lifetime of experience…

“I’ve been with this company for 35 years.”

“I’ve been in this industry since it started.”

“I remember when we used typewriters to fill out those forms.”

“I’ve forgotten more about this, than that new guy will ever know.”

“I’m not sure how things are supposed to work. I just started a couple of years ago.”

“I hope they give me a raise soon. I’m the only person who knows how to process all the claim types.”

“There’s no way someone will ever figure out how to replace me. I wouldn’t even remember all the steps if I had to tell someone. It’s automatic for me.”

Experience counts. There’s no replacement for the lessons learned by doing, succeeding, failing, recovering, making it up as you go, reinventing, punting, switching directions, and trying again.

There’s no shortcut to learning how a business or industry ebbs and flows throughout a year, or through the ups and downs of the economic cycle. A business that’s a no-brainer during the up-cycle can, and will, turn into a nightmare in a down-cycle. A person who can lead a business through an entire up and down cycle can’t help but learn all the ins and outs of that business (and its industry).

But, what’s the true value of all that experience? Nope, that’s not it…

The real value comes when you teach and mentor others. It’s relatively easy to master something for yourself. The real challenge, and deepest learning, is in teaching others. Not just the raw facts and steps to something, but connecting and passing on the passion that you have and watching your “student” define their own passion about the topic.

Consider your years of experience doing something. Maybe you’ve been in a particular job for twenty years. Can you honestly say that you’ve had twenty real years of experience, or twenty one-year experiences?

What’s the difference?

The difference is whether you’ve merely stacked the same one-year experiences on top of one another, or built and connected a compounding level of expertise in your twenty years. It means looking back at the (hopefully) countless people you’ve helped along the way to become the best versions of themselves. It means that you’ve found ways to multiply yourself and your impact by working with, and teaching, others.

The school of hard knocks never issues a diploma, but it does yield a lifetime of experience. That experience only counts if you take the time to pass it on to someone else.

Image Credit

Will This Be On The Test?!?!

I’m told that this is one of the top questions students (and parents) ask of teachers.

Test questions in school come in many standard forms: true or false, multiple choice, essay…just to name a few. Oh yeah, and word problems! Decipher the riddle, find all the numbers that fit into formulas, and arrive at an answer (hopefully, the correct one). And, of course, remember to show your work.

We’re taught in school that there is only one correct answer to most questions. Columbus discovered the New World in 1492, not 1493. It takes two hydrogens and one oxygen to make water, not two oxygens and one hydrogen. The student’s job is to learn (memorize?) the correct answers and then “ace” their test by answering all of the questions correctly.

It’s no wonder students ask what will be on their tests. After all, their grade is in play. Who wouldn’t want to know what they should study, and what they can ignore? So much is riding on the outcome.

Tests outside of school aren’t as easy. The questions don’t come from our teachers. Variables are often missing, and formulas rarely provide one definitive answer. They aren’t always fair. They don’t come with a study guide. There’s no advice about what should be studied, or ignored. Real life tests come from our family, friends, customers, co-workers, managers, elected officials, our children’s teachers, strangers, and ourselves…on a daily basis. A lot more than a grade is in play with most of these tests.

Attention to detail, listening to what is said and unsaid, curiosity, creativity, openness to risk, connecting with others we trust, and a clear sense of right and wrong are the guides we have in answering the real life test questions we face.

What’ll be on your next test? Everything you’ve experienced in life up to this point, and probably a few things you haven’t seen before. Here’s hoping you studied well.

Test Question: What’s the connection between this post and the sunrise photo?

Wanna Learn Something? Think Like a Teacher!

You try to listen and stay focused. Your mind wanders a bit. You force it back in line. After all, there may be something useful here that you can apply to your work…

You’re sitting in a training class. The instructor is describing some new set of management concepts or the latest system enhancements. You try to listen and stay focused. Your mind wanders a bit. You force it back in line. After all, there may be something useful here that you can apply to your work.

Later, someone asks you how the class went. You shrug your shoulders, reporting that you learned a couple of new things. You then have trouble describing what you’ve learned. Not an inspiring endorsement.

Imagine the same training class. But, now you’re there to learn the material well enough to present the same class to another group next week.

You don’t get to pick and choose what applies to your work. You need to learn the subject in its entirety. Preparing to teach a subject requires active learning. You’ll watch how the material is presented, the visual aids and examples the presenter uses, and the way the presenter moves around the room. Nothing less than full mastery of the information will suffice. Anything less could lead to failure when it’s your turn to teach.

Do yourself a favor. Prepare like a teacher, learn like a teacher, and think like a teacher. The truth is, you will be teaching this class next week…to yourself, as you try to remember and apply what you learned in the class.

Top 9 Things New Parents Need to Remember

My daughter and son-in-law just had their first baby. His name is James, and he’s one week old.

Inspired by our new grandson, I thought I’d give some advice about parenting. Trust me when I say that I’m no expert. Then again, I don’t think anyone is truly an expert in this, the oldest of callings. With that in mind, here’s my Top 9:

1. No child is perfect. Precious, yes. The center of your universe, yes. Perfect, no. They will make mistakes, just like you. They will have difficult challenges (real and imagined) in their life, just like you. They will need someone to support them in good times and bad, just like you. They will occasionally need someone to point them in a new direction, just like you.

2. Children learn what you teach them. This sounds obvious, but I think some parents forget this truism. You should always have an eye on what you are teaching through your words and actions. Everything you do, say, and value, are always on display for your kids. The way you handle challenges, approach new ideas, enjoy your day, place value on accomplishment, and take the time (or not) to notice the small pleasures in life, are all teaching your child how to approach life. Kids have a voracious thirst for new knowledge. Have fun helping them chase down new things to learn.

3. Enjoy sharing the things you do with your child. If you’re doing yard work, get your child involved, even if it’s only to hold the bag while you dump leaves into it. Building the latest piece of your Ikea collection? Get them in there with you. Their “help” may double the amount of time the project takes, but your child will learn what it’s like to work on projects and see them through to completion. Are you thinking about flying a kite? Don’t just show them the flying part. Get them involved in picking out the kite, assembling it, and figuring out which way to point it into the wind.

4. Child development is similar to sculpting clay. When clay is new, it’s pliable, easily shaped, and flexible. You start with the big sweeping parts of the shape, and then hone-in on the finer details. As you work the clay, it begins to dry. It becomes less pliable. It starts to stand on its own. As the clay continues to dry, even slight adjustments are difficult.

What you do to shape your child’s view of the world, their understanding of right and wrong, the importance of serving others, understanding how their decisions impact themselves and others, needs to happen as early as possible. The foundational shaping of a productive and independent adult happens very early.

Shaping the clay is only half the challenge. To fully mature and keep its shape, clay needs to be fired in a kiln and heated to extremely high temperatures…a true trial by fire. Your child will face many trials by fire. Many will be theirs alone, while some will be shared with their parents. Give your child (and yourself) the freedom to succeed and fail in the various trials of life. Always remember the main goal is to help your child become the greatest version of themselves they can, have lasting values, and be someone who can stand the heat and come out better for it.

5. Laugh with each other, and at each other…a lot.

6. Parenting isn’t a democracy. Parents make the rules. Your child needs the structure that comes from a well-disciplined environment that you create.

7. If you make a mistake, don’t be afraid to tell your child about it. They can learn just as much from your mistakes as they can from their own. In fact, they will probably learn more from how you handle your mistake than the actual mistake.

8. Kids need balance as much as adults. Adults often talk about trying to achieve an optimal life-work balance. The same thing should apply to kids. This may mean that they can’t play on the club soccer team, take sailing lessons, and have a lead part in the school play all at the same time. Help your kids make trade-off’s to achieve an optimal balance of activities, school, work, etc. Some of the most valuable time in a kid’s life is the “down time” relaxing with their parents. As much as people talk about “quality time” with their kids, I think there is also a lot of value in “quantity time” that shouldn’t be forgotten in the hustle to do more with each day.

9. The greatest gift a mom and dad can give to their child is to love each other. Take the time to ensure that your child gets to see the love between their parents grow each day. A loving family is a delight to behold, and your child will revel in such a nurturing environment.

9 ¾. Your goal should be to help your child become a productive and independent adult, who adds value to their community. Nothing more, nothing less.

Kung Fu Masters

“The measure of a Kung Fu Master isn’t his own Kung Fu, but that of his student.“

There are many measures of greatness in life. Wealth, fame, popularity. Just to name a few. These pale by comparison to the positive impact we can and should have on others.

Look around you. Who are your students? Do you take the time to teach? Are you an example for your students? Are you helping others achieve their greatness, and celebrating when they do?

We don’t have much time on this planet. Our energy, our ideas, and the passion we have for our ideas can live on in our students…and their students.

Imagine if each of us were measured like the Kung Fu Master. The truth is that we are, whether we know it or not.