Observe before questioning.
Listen before responding.
Understand before judging.
Think before deciding.
Visualize before starting.
Measure (twice) before cutting.
Give (without expectation) before receiving.
Discuss before negotiating.
Appreciate before departing.
We know better. Some moments carry more magic than others.
‘Cause you can’t jump the track,
we’re like cars on a cable,
And life’s like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, girl
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe… just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.
Grandma Anne had a small hourglass in her kitchen. It was her egg timer, and I’m sure thousands of other kitchens had the same thing. In my Grandma’s kitchen, that timer was the magical key to making Eggs in the Egg Cup. The starring attraction was a perfectly soft-boiled egg. The proper dipping tool was a lady finger (toast cut into strips).
Forty years later, I could soft-boil some eggs. I could slice my toast into strips. I could find proper egg cups for serving. It wouldn’t be the same. I don’t have Grandma’s egg timer, or her loving touch.
Hourglasses don’t care about how time passes. Their job is only to measure its passing. Each grain of sand merely represents a moment in time.
We know better. Some moments carry more magic than others.
When I started this post, it was going to be about time passing through the hourglass and how it symbolizes our lives. We only get one pass through the hourglass (it’s glued to the table). We don’t know how much sand is left. We don’t know if our hourglass will fall off the proverbial table and shatter in an instant.
Nothing new there, but I had a sense there was something else, so I started writing to find out.
The image of Grandma Anne’s egg timer and lady fingers filled my head. I haven’t had Egg in the Egg Cup in forty years. Grandma Anne passed away more than twenty years ago. Yet I can see the many breakfasts she served when I spent the night at her house. I smell the bacon. I hear the crunching of the toast.
She taught me Yahtzee, and then Triple Yahtzee. I can hear the dice rolling around in the cup. She folded a napkin in the bottom of the dice cup to keep the noise down. She shared a lot of Grandma wisdom on strategic thinking during those Yahtzee games.
One thing is certain as the sand passes through my hourglass. I get only one pass. But I get to experience my memories as often as I’d like…even when I least expect it. How cool is that!
Photo Credit: Nick Valdovinos
“Which wolf will win?” The boy asked his Grandfather.
An old Navajo and his grandson went walking in the woods. The Navajo spoke to his grandson, teaching him of the plants to eat and the plants to avoid, teaching him how to read the story written in the dusty earth by the paw tracks of animals. When the old man saw that two wolves had traveled across their path, he knelt at the tracks and turned to his grandson to teach him of his spirit.
“Grandson, there are two wolves in your heart fighting for your attention. One wolf is snarling with rage, the other is howling in harmony with the moon and all living things. As you grow up the fight will grow stronger between these two wolves.”
“Which wolf will win?” The boy asked his Grandfather.
“The one you feed.”
I’ve seen this story a few times in my life and came across it again today. It’s a great reminder that each of us control the biggest decisions in life:
Help or Hinder
Build or Destroy
Admire or Envy
Harmonize or Rage
Listen or Ignore
Care or Neglect
Love or Hate
Which wolf are you feeding?
Photo credit: http://www.medicineofthewolf.com
I lasted about three floors before going past my personal “red line.”
I’ve been a competitive stairclimber for about five years. This means I train on a StairMaster pretty much year-round for one or two stairclimb races each year. Races generally start on the ground floor of a skyscraper, and end at the helipad. The Willis Tower race (formerly Sears Tower, in Chicago) finishes on the 103rd floor, where they have crazy observation windows that allow you to step out into “space” outside of the building. [Note to self: next time I compete in the Willis Tower climb, don’t spend the prior day tourist walking with Janet all over Downtown Chicago. Do that after the race!]
Like most sports, there are elite competitors, and then, everyone else. Elite climbers make it to the top in amazing time, often climbing a floor every 8-9 seconds. I’m usually in the top 15-20% of my age group (40-49), with a 12-14 seconds-per-floor pace. Unfortunately, I can’t say my lack of speed is an age thing, since more than a few of the elite climbers are in their mid-40’s.
During my first stairclimb race I was lucky enough to get passed by an elite climber. He had raced earlier in the day, and was taking a “leisurely” training run during my race wave. I took note of his technique as we approached the 40th floor of a 63-floor climb. He took two steps at a time, pulling himself up hand-over-hand on the handrail. He made it look pretty easy as he passed, so I gave it a try.
It was definitely much faster, and got my upper body into the climb. It also meant more muscle groups would need oxygen. I lasted about three floors before going past my personal “red line.” I was forced to stop and catch my breath, before soldiering on with the standard one-step-at-a-time method. I had seen the secret, and knew I’d have to train differently to prepare for the two-at-a-time technique.
People have asked me how I’m able to climb without hurting my knees. Climbing stairs is great for your knees, lower back, and hamstrings. It’s a low-impact, heavily aerobic exercise. We only climb, and never descend. That’s what elevators are for. Climbing creates long and stretching strides, focusing the work onto your muscles and soft tissue, and away from your joints.
Which brings us to today. My fifth year climbing the Aon Tower in Los Angeles, benefitting the American Lung Association. After the question about knees, the next question is some variation of, “Doesn’t it get boring, just climbing stairs? What are you thinking about during a race?” I suppose it’s the same things other endurance athletes think about during their races.
To definitively answer this question, here’s a brain dump of what I was thinking earlier today as I “raced:”
Only three runners in front of me to start. Ten second intervals.
“Good luck on your first race. Do you want to start in front, or behind?” Steven answers that he will take off behind me. I put in my earbuds and fire up my iTunes StairList (thanks to Jennifer for creating this list many years ago).
Ten seconds to start. Remember that I am starting on the 20 minute mark.
I love the quiet just before the start. Go!
Save Ferris! Nice choice, Jennifer!
The start is different than previous years. We entered a different door and hit stairs immediately.
No rhythm for the first 3 or 4 floors, until we get into the main stairwell.
Fifth floor. First person passed.
Two steps at a time. Nice rhythm.
The first ten floors are always the hardest, even though I just did about 20 floors of warm-up before the race.
Tenth floor. Steven is right behind me. Awesome! How cool is it that my son-in-law is running this race with me! He’s gained ten seconds on me already. Stud!
Move to the outside! Why do slower climbers never move to the outside like the instructions say? There goes my nice rhythm.
Back on track. Water stop!
“Sorry, we ran out of cups.” Well, that’s a real mind-f***. It sure is dry in this stairwell! I take a quick swig of water from my hand.
That’s not a very sanitary thing to do. 100’s of climbers are touching these rails, sweating on them, and you just took a swig of water from your hand after using those same rails.
16th floor! Where’s Steven? He must have slowed up.
18th floor! Focus on two-at-a-time.
I wish I hadn’t forgotten my gloves. I’d have better grip on these handrails.
Nice mandolin. Perfect time for a little string quartet music. Nice choice again, Jennifer.
21st floor. One-third done. I wonder how my pace is. I’ve passed a bunch of people.
It would be great if the stairwell would change direction. Turning left over and over is making me dizzy.
Deep breaths. Focus on two-at-a-time. This is comfortable. Passing more people.
30th floor. Nice cheering section. Is that a clapping toy? Cool. It sure is dry in this stairwell. My lungs are burning!
Water stop! Amazing what one Dixie cup of water does. Quick back stretch.
Two-at-a-time. Steady pace.
Takin Care of Business. BTO! Rock on!
1-2-3-4. Turn, 2-3. 1-2-3-4. Turn, 2-3. 1-2-3-4. Two-at-a-time still working!
45th floor. This thing is almost over. Look at that crowd of people ahead…all in pink shirts. That’s a big team!
I see an elite runner as I turn. He’s not close enough to pass yet, but he will be in another floor. Just doing a training run…two-at-a-time, of course. There he goes. Stud!
50th floor. Mark Anthony. Not my favorite song right about now. A bit too slow. Two-at-a-time is still working! Awesome. Only 13 more floors!
52nd floor. My lungs are burning. They named this race right. Fight for Air!
Last water stop before the finish. Big crowd here. Only ten floors to go.
1-2-3-4. Turn, 2-3. 1-2-3-4. Turn, 2-3. 1-2-3-4. Two-at-a-time still working! Not as fast as the elite guy. I’ll just have to train at a higher level. He’s gone.
59th floor. Only four to go. Two-at-a-time working! Move to the outside! What’s the deal? A whole bunch of people all of a sudden. I wonder if I can get past all of them in four floors.
1-2-3-4. Turn, 2-3. 1-2-3-4. Turn, 2-3. 1-2-3-4.
Color change. 61st floor! New direction on the stairwell. Push to the finish!
Last turn. Bright sunlight. Here comes the roof!
Stay focused. Push to the finish. Man, my lungs are burning!
Finish line! Clock minute is 34. What was my start minute? Oh yeah, 20. 14 minutes. Dang it. Slower than last year. Hey, that’s Garth Brooks. The song is almost over.
What a view! First time I can remember it being clear and bright at the finish of this race. Look how clear the Hollywood Sign is.
Next event is in late-September. The US Bank building in Los Angeles. It’s about 75 floors. That event has always conflicted with something else. I plan to climb it this year. Time to ramp up my training. More StairMaster, more trail running, more rope climb, more squats, less ice cream (hey, let’s not get crazy!).
Bring it on!
View from the helipad
That elusive place or time where everything is perfect…
In Utopia, everyone is an ally. There’s no struggle to determine who will lead, and who will follow. There is no disagreement or dissention among the inhabitants. The definition of what’s important is known and accepted by all. All roles and activities in Utopia are complementary, and synchronized perfectly. Each person knows their role and is happy and content to remain in that role. There is no envy in Utopia. There are no outside influencers with contrary ideas. There are no existential threats to Utopia. In Utopia, there is no competition. Humans live and work in complete harmony and happiness.
Cue the sound of a record scratching!
Put at least three humans together, and watch the non-Utopian dynamics unfold.
The group may be focused on delivering food to the homeless, winning a pick-up basketball game, planning a party, or running a Fortune 500 company. It doesn’t matter whether there are three members in the group, three hundred, or three thousand. The realities of human nature prevent Utopian agreement and synchronicity among the participants. It’s a good thing. Imagine how few new discoveries would happen if everyone were trapped in Utopia.
And yet, many spend their lives searching for it. That elusive place or time where everything is perfect. They bounce from one relationship to another, from one city to another, from one company to another…never quite finding their version of Utopia. A deepening sense of urgency, even profound disappointment, creeps into their subconscious as their fruitless search continues.
Utopia isn’t a place, a time, or a group. It’s what you make for yourself and those you love. It’s how you treat others. It’s how you treat yourself. Utopia is where you are each day, if you get out the way and allow yourself to enjoy it.
One could argue that this view of personal Utopia is, in a word, Utopian, and therefore impossible.
That may be true, and this argument will continue long after my time on the planet.
In the meantime, I’ll focus on enjoying my Utopia while others continue their search.
Photo Credit: Diane Anderson
Which will you create?
Human nature dictates that we will have allies, competitors, and enemies.
Allies agree with us. They’re willing to work with us toward a common goal.
Competitors don’t agree with our goals, and work against them. Competitors are a fact of life. The challenges of a strong competitor drive us to perform at levels we didn’t realize we had. Competition makes us stronger. There are winners and losers in every competition. If we lose, the lessons of that loss can make us stronger for the next competition.
Enemies are an entirely different matter. They aren’t just against our goals. They’re against us, personally. Winning the competition, whether it’s a battle of dollars, a battle for territory, or a battle for the hearts and minds of others, isn’t enough for an enemy. They want us to lose the competition, and be eliminated from future opportunities to compete.
These roles are often in flux. Allies can become competitors. Competitors can become enemies.
The transitions are usually a result of our actions. If we operate with life-giving values like honesty, integrity, trustworthiness, mutual respect, empathy, fairness, and a pursuit of mutual benefit, great things will happen.
Our allies will remain allies. Competitors are much less likely to become our enemies. They may even become new allies in the future.
Operating without life-giving values unleashes a torrent of negativity. You’ll have trouble keeping allies. Competitors will become enemies. Long-term success will slip from your grasp.
What about the people who don’t know you (yet)? The people you’d like to meet. The new customers you’d like to have. The new talent you hope to recruit to your company.
Will you create allies, competitors, or enemies? That all depends on you, and the values you live.
“I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self.” –Aristotle
Were you listening, or merely thinking about your next response?
The world can be a noisy place. It can also be a quiet place.
Consider a street corner in a busy city. The sounds can be overwhelming. Honking horns, revving engines, the crazy person yelling at the sky, pieces of ten conversations you overhear as people pass by, music from that guy’s headphones that are turned up way too high, the beeping of a delivery truck as it backs into a parking space. And yet, there can be quiet, if your mind allows it.
Family gatherings are loud. I’m blessed to be part of a huge family. Thanksgiving and Christmas gatherings have forty-plus attendees. At any time, there are two or three kids barreling through, laughing and screaming, a bunch of discussion about how best to prepare and serve the family meal, and a ton of conversations peppered throughout the house. I do my best to add to the noise, but I purposely take time at these gatherings to quiet myself and appreciate the moment. I listen, and enjoy.
It can be the same on a trail run. The sounds of birds chirping, the crunch of the ground, the rustle in the leaves as a critter runs away, the wind whistling through the trees, the buzz of a rattlesnake I just startled (it’s as if a big rattlesnake alarm clock went off this week, alerting all rattlers to wake from hibernation), the music in my Pandora feed (Beach Boys, lately). I stopped running with ear buds long ago, simply so I can hear more of the trail. I still have some music playing, but, it’s in the background. The sounds of the trail, and my own rambling thoughts are what I hear the most on a run.
Consider the last meeting you attended. How many people were in the meeting? Were there side conversations? Was anyone checking their phone or laptop during the meeting? Were real, meaningful, and actionable ideas discussed? Were you the one checking your phone? Were you listening, or merely thinking about your next response? Was anyone listening? Who was the quietest person in the meeting? What did they think? Did you take the time to find out?
Meaningless noise can creep into just about any environment, whether it’s measurable on a decibel meter or not. Meaningful quiet can enter any environment, no matter how much noise there is.
You control the quiet. You control your listening.
Embrace your silence, and enjoy the power of quiet listening…maybe for the first time.
I personally never saw the benefit of splitting my Oreos in half, and eating the middle first…
A kid’ll eat the middle of an Oreo cookie, and save the chocolate cookie outside for last…
I personally never saw the benefit of splitting my Oreos in half, and eating the middle first. Seems like a lot of work. In fact, the middle is boring without the chocolate cookie, in my humble opinion.
If dissecting the cookie isn’t the best, what’s the best way to eat an Oreo?
If you bite into an Oreo, it’s a challenge to not drop crumbs all over the place. The cleanest and most effective way to eat an Oreo is in one bite. Just pop the whole cookie in your mouth and let the taste celebration begin. To add to the party, take a small sip of milk and let all that flavor mix around as you chew. Enjoy.
The ideal number of Oreos to eat in one sitting is four…each with one bite, and each with a healthy sip of milk. Oreo purists will argue that the ideal number is an entire column (purists know what a column is in this context), but that’s a bit much for me. You’ll have some milk left in the glass after your four cookies, and that’s useful for rinsing everything out of your teeth as you contemplate the goodness of your Oreos.
I always thought it would be fun to eat a few Oreos before a dental hygienist appointment. I wonder if anyone has actually gone through with this idea.
Steak. It’s what’s for dinner.
For vegetarians, I apologize in advance…
The smell of steaks on the grill is a little slice of Heaven. There’s something about the smell of a barbeque grill that permeates a neighborhood. If your neighbor is cooking steaks, you know it, and you wish you were cooking your own.
Some of the best steakhouses age their beef for thirty, even sixty days. They say that the longer the aging process, the more tender the meat will be. I’m not quite so patient. I’ll give it about three days of aging in the fridge before cooking.
I’ve tried many cuts of beef. My favorite is the rib eye. Rub a little olive oil on each side, and then season with Mansmith’s. Grill it low and slow, about ten minutes on each side for the perfect medium-rare tenderness. Let the meat rest for a few minutes, and then enjoy with a baked potato and some steamed or sautéed asparagus. Talk about good eats!
I like nearly every food I’ve tried, except olives and horseradish. A few favorites come to mind…Salmon. Eggplant parmesan. Hot apple pie (with ice cream). Saag paneer. Unagi. Lasagna. Date shakes. Vegetarian lamb. Chocolate chip ice cream. Chili. Oatmeal cookies. Fried chicken. Carrot cake. Cornish pasties. Bacon!
Food is much more than the sustenance we need to live. It’s more than nutritional value (or lack thereof). Foods have history. Many are at the heart of our family traditions.
One thing all foods across the world have in common: they are best when shared with the people we love.
Explore. Taste. Savor. Share. Love. Enjoy!
Unmaking an Oreo: http://youtu.be/cJyGoGPXTj4
Each #tbt post gives us a glimpse of potential yet to be fulfilled…
It’s fun to see how long (and not grey) our friend’s hair was twenty or thirty years ago…especially if that person has little or no hair now (like me). It’s neat to see our faces before years of experience (and sun damage) have made their mark. The clothing styles are always good for a laugh…nice OP shorts, Magnum!
#tbt posts provide a window into who we were, and the things we thought were important. As we look at a #tbt photo, we know how things turn out for this “stranger” in the picture. The person in that old photo has years of decisions to make, countless lessons to learn, and many hearts to touch. Each #tbt post gives us a glimpse of potential yet to be fulfilled.
Look in the mirror. You get to see your future #tbt photo every day.
What potential do you have that has yet to be fulfilled? Whose hearts will you touch? Will you make sound decisions? What will you learn along the way? None of us know for certain.
One thing is certain. Many of the things that seem important today won’t be so important in twenty or thirty years.
Your humble writer, on his wedding day in July, 1988.
The story of the blind men and the elephant originated in India.
The story of the blind men and the elephant originated in India. It then spread across the world and through history in various versions. Here’s the main story line:
Once upon a time, there lived six blind men in a village. One day the villagers told them, “Hey, there is an elephant in the village today.” They had no idea what an elephant was. They decided, “Even though we would not be able to see it, let us go and feel it anyway.”
“Hey, the elephant is a pillar,” said the first man, who touched his leg.
“Oh, no! It’s like a rope,” said the second man, who touched the tail.
“Oh, no! It’s like a thick branch of a tree,” said the third man, who touched the trunk of the elephant.
“It’s like a big hand fan” said the fourth man, who touched the ear of the elephant.
“It’s like a huge wall,” said the fifth man, who touched the belly of the elephant.
“It’s like a solid pipe,” said the sixth man, who touched the tusk of the elephant.
They began to argue about the elephant and each of them insisted that he was right. It looked like they were getting agitated. A wise man was passing by and saw this. He stopped and asked them, “What is the matter?”
They said, “We cannot agree what the elephant is like.” Each one of them told what he thought the elephant was like.
The wise man calmly explained to them, “All of you are right. The reason every one of you is telling it differently is that each of you touched a different part of the elephant.”
What part of the elephant are you holding onto?
Are you willing to listen to the way others describe the elephant?
Are you aware of your blindness?
Grandpa Bob Encouraging Leadership 
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