Category: Attitude

Yo Ho, Yo Ho, A Pirate’s Life for Me!

What makes this ride so popular? Definitely not the speed. Is it the “escape” into another world? Maybe. But, is it really an escape?

Disneyland-POTC_sign

If you’re like me, you know the only way to turn at the end of Main Street USA is left.  Left, toward Adventureland, and New Orleans Square.  Sure, you could go for one of the “speed” rides like Space Mountain over in Tomorrowland.  Buzz Lightyear (Astro Blasters) is a good one.  Or, maybe Thunder Mountain.  The Matterhorn is re-opened, if you like to have your spine compressed (not sure why they didn’t fix that problem during the most recent refresh).

But, the best rides are definitely in Adventureland.  The Jungle Cruise, Indiana Jones, Pirates of the Caribbean, and the Haunted Mansion.  Don’t even get me started on how awesome Tom Sawyer’s Island is.

The Jungle Cruise is all about the puns.  Indiana Jones is (mild) sensory overload and a neat cave walk to and from the ride.  The Haunted Mansion is a cross between Tim Burton’s vision of the world, and old school special effects that are still cool.

The best of all is Pirates!

First you’re in a New Orleans bayou.  Crickets are chirping, a few frogs are croaking quietly, and fireflies dart about.  It’s dark, quiet, and lazy.  The swamp guy sits on his porch, smoking a corn cob pipe.  The sound of slow banjo picking comes from his house.  Do swamp guys have CD’s?  Electricity?  Does he have a banjo-playing friend in the house?  Then, total darkness, a quick drop, and we enter a pirate’s lair.  It’s clearly seen better days.  Tons of treasure gather dust and cob webs.

I’ve never known what a New Orleans bayou has to do with being in a pirate’s lair, but over the years, I’ve learned it doesn’t matter.  “Dead men tell no tales!”  Just as you figure out that all the riches and treasures in the world didn’t do these dead pirates any favors, a foggy curtain projects an apparition of Davy Jones, warning us about the cursed lives of pirates.  Our boat ignores the warning and carries us into this cursed world.

We enter a pitched battle between a pirate ship with cannons blazing, and the shore defenses firing back.  It’s a desperate battle with explosions and lots of yelling.  Somehow the shots never hit anything vital, or do they?  The battle rages on, but we pass safely under the line of fire.

The harbor comes into view.  Not just any harbor, but a “Yo Ho, Yo Ho, a pirate’s life for me,” harbor from long ago.  Pirates are drinking and singing.  Some of the less fortunate are dunked endlessly in a well.  A vain search for Captain Jack Sparrow.  Others are sold as brides.  We see drunk pirates singing to themselves and no one in particular, scheming ways to find more treasure.

The scene shifts again to a prison where the only hope of escape lies in convincing a dog to give up the keys.  The dog never budges, but always looks like he might.  Hopefulness mixed with despair.  If only the prisoners would realize that their only salvation is to find a new strategy, a new direction.  Of course, they never make this connection.  We slowly pass under a collapsing ceiling, and back into the harbor.

The town is ablaze, but nobody cares.  We know the flames spell disaster, but that’s lost on everyone in the scene.  They continue to drink, sing, and chase each other in a search for the next moment.  Some fire randomly across the water at their friends.  “Yo Ho, Yo Ho, a pirate’s life for me!”

The dichotomy of the celebratory singing and the evil that humans do to one another isn’t the point…or, maybe it is.  All the while, our boat floats lazily through the scene.

We begin our slow climb out of this cursed world as Jack Sparrow tell us to, “Drink up you laddies!  Yo Ho!”

What makes this ride so popular?  Definitely not the speed.  Is it the “escape” into another world?  Maybe.  But, is it really an escape?

Each of us can relate to being the pirate.  We’ve been dunked in the proverbial well…sometimes we do the dunking.  We’ve fired aimlessly at our enemies (and our friends) at one time or another.  Oblivious to the pain we may cause.  We’ve focused solely on the now.  Ignored the future.  We’ve looked for treasure.  Maybe we’ve found it…and yet, our search continues.

Are we nothing more than passengers on the boat, passing lazily through the scenes of life, yet never connecting to any of it?  Hopefully not.

A pirate’s life, indeed.  Time to get in line for the next ride!

 

Speed bumps and walls…

…have a few things in common. Both force us to pay attention, slow down, and (sometimes) change course…

speed-bump-warning-sign

…have a few things in common.  Both force us to pay attention, slow down, and (sometimes) change course.  In many ways, speed bumps are merely walls that are short enough to get over with minimal effort.

Unlike speed bumps, walls are there to stop us, contain us, to protect something we’re not supposed to see, or maybe provide protection to something we don’t want others to see.

Is that nasty cold you have a speed bump or a wall?

How about the job you had until last week?  Is losing that job a speed bump or a wall?

Is the macro-economic forecast for 2% or less in U.S. Gross Domestic Product growth a speed bump or a wall?

Is bad weather (however you define the term bad) a speed bump or wall?

The death of a loved one?  Speed bump or wall?

The diagnosis you received from your doctor that has you wondering how long you have to live this life you love.  Speed bump?  Wall?

Meeting the person of your dreams and falling in love.  Speed bump or wall?  Surprise!  Good news introduces speed bumps and walls, just like bad news.  Of course, good news can also knock down walls.

When the news first hits, it almost always looks like a wall.  Only after further reflection, maybe some quiet meditation, a hard workout(s), discussions with our friends and family, enjoying a bowl of our favorite ice cream, watching some sunrises and sunsets, or all of these, do the walls start to look shorter.

As the walls lose their height, they may disappear from sight, or take the shape of speed bumps that we can handle.

Some walls are high and stay that way.  If we can’t climb over, we learn to change direction and find a way around.

What if we can’t climb over, can’t change direction, and the high walls continue to surround us?  Should we give up?

No way!

We build our expansive life inside the new walls and never drop our quest to escape…even if we have to dismantle the walls one brick (or chisel strike) at a time.

Do you remember that guy who gave up?  Neither can anyone else.  –Author Forgotten

The Rear-View Mirror

Rear-view mirrors are nice, but the real action is in the opposite direction…

For years, I seemed to pick cars that were too short.  The rear-view mirrors were always right at my eye level.  At first, that sounds about right.  But, the mirrors actually blocked my view out the front windshield.

I had two choices:

Duck down and look under the mirror to see the road ahead,

or,

Remove the mirror.

Not wanting to scrunch down, or have to remember that what I could see was actually the view out the back window, I decided to remove the mirror from my view.

A bit drastic, but I was okay with it.  I could always use the side mirrors to see behind me.  Besides, I mostly used the rear-view mirror to scan for cops (it’s easier to spot their profile, or their lights, using the rear-view mirror).  Since I wasn’t in the habit of breaking laws, it wasn’t a big sacrifice to lose that wide-angle backward view.

Most of what I was interested in was in front of me anyway.  Removing the mirror let me stay focused on what was coming, rather than where I’d been.  Occasionally, I’d glance to the empty spot where the mirror used to be, mostly out of habit.

A habit born of the desire to glean value from where I’d been, but mostly to know if something was about to catch me.  It didn’t matter that I wasn’t doing anything worthy of being caught.  But, still, it was there.  The unknown pursuer.  The quick glance to the rear-view would help me see when it was coming.  It never was.

Fast-forward twenty years or so, and my car (actually a truck) is bigger.  The rear-view mirror doesn’t block my view out the front.  It provides a nice panorama out the back.  I don’t use it much (the side mirrors are still my go-to).  When I do use it, I’m not interested in seeing my pursuer.  I’m not as concerned about who may be back there (unless it’s a knucklehead weaving through traffic, ignoring everyone’s safety).

My rear-view mirror lets me quickly see where I’ve been, and that’s enough.  The real action is still in front of me, so I’m glad my mirror doesn’t block that view.

Otherwise, it would have to go.

Rear_View

There’s a crack in the gutter where a flower grows…

They’re not supposed to be there. It should be impossible for them to grow…

Pandora is awesome.  I was listening to my Happy Radio channel the other day when this song called Hey, Hey, Hey came on.  It had a catchy tune, and some of the words seemed nice when I chose to listen closely.  It was my first time hearing it, but I knew it had been around a while.

Somewhere in the middle of the song I hear:

There’s a crack in the gutter where a flower grows

Reminding me that everything is possible
Yeah, reminding me that nothing is impossible
You gotta live for the one that you love you know
You gotta love for the life that you live you know

Singing hey, hey, hey
No matter how life is today
There’s just one thing that I got to say
I won’t let another moment slip away

That got my attention.

How many times have you seen a plant (sometimes a weed, but that’s really in the eye of the beholder) growing out of a crack in the sidewalk, or the gutter?  How about the tree that figures out how to grow from within a cracked boulder?

They’re not supposed to be there.  It should be impossible for them to grow.  Yet, there they are.  Thriving in the most inhospitable of environments.

Each of us have the same ability to overcome adversity.  To be the flower growing in the crack in the gutter.  To grow and thrive in our little corner of the world, making a small but important difference to those around us.

Life is a journey, and it can be a struggle.  But, it’s also a triumph, and an opportunity to make our mark in places nobody (including ourselves) would ever expect.

 

Here’s the whole song…and, yeah, it’s been around since 2010.  Only took me five years to notice it (not good for my hipster cred):  Hey, Hey, Hey

 

The Most Powerful Words of All

We can tell ourselves almost anything, and we will believe it. If we don’t believe at first, we can relentlessly work to convince ourselves. Remember, we’re in our head all the time…unfiltered!

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.”

Why do parents teach this little quote to their kids?  Simple.  It’s a one-sentence philosophy that arms each of us against the words others may use to describe us, or worse, to tear us down.  We learn from this one sentence that words can’t hurt us.

As a philosophy, it works.  But, in practice, it misses a few points.

Words do matter.  They inspire, motivate, comfort, and create.  They also discourage, disappoint, frustrate, and destroy.

Certain words wield more power than all others.  The words we say to ourselves.

We can tell ourselves almost anything, and we will believe it.  If we don’t believe at first, we can relentlessly work to convince ourselves.  Remember, we’re in our head all the time…unfiltered!

We each have a personal stream of consciousness that narrates our perspective of what’s “really” happening around us, and to us.  It’s this continuous chatter of self-talk in our head that drives everything we feel, and everything we do.

The words in our self-talk carry all the power, regardless of what’s happening around us.  Imagine you’re a golfer.  A professional golfer.  Maybe the best golfer in the world.  You’ve won major tournaments this season.  You’ve outclassed the entire field.  And yet, you aren’t satisfied with your results, because they should have been better.  You finished second a few too many times this season to let yourself really celebrate your success.

Why?  Negative self-talk.  Your self-talk is telling you that you aren’t good enough.  You don’t deserve all the accolades coming your way.  You tell yourself that your short game needs to get a little better if you expect to win again.  Each mistake you make is amplified in your head as yet another reason you shouldn’t win.  So you stop winning.

Negative self-talk has nothing to do with reality.  It only robs energy and happiness.  Positive self-talk has nothing to do with reality.  It only brings energy and happiness.  The reality you perceive, the reality you create, and the way you will ultimately live your life are each dictated by your self-talk.

The words we say to ourselves can and will hurt us.  Or…they can lift us, propel us, and bring us happiness.

We get to choose.

“Whether you think you can, or think you can’t.  You’re right.”  –Henry Ford

Real People. Not Actors.

Are real people supposed to be more honest than actors…

There I was at the gym, climbing the StairMaster (it’s what competitive stair climbers do for fun), and I noticed a commercial on one of the TV’s.  I don’t know what the commercial was trying to sell.  I only know that the people who looked so excited were Real People. Not Actors. That’s what it said on the screen.

I wonder if actors like being thought of as not real people.

Are real people supposed to be more honest than actors?

Don’t we all act just a little bit everyday?  If that’s true, who’s the real person, and who’s the actor?

Real people choose to act in a certain way, everyday.  They may choose to act unhappy, irritated, belligerent, impatient, frustrated.  Or, they may choose to act happy, supportive, patient, welcoming.

We’re all actors…and real people.  We choose how we act.

When we choose, it’s real for everyone, including ourselves.

ASSUME…The Most Powerful Word in Leadership

Assuming a leadership role is much more than merely accepting the new position.

Bad-News-Bears

I remember the first time I saw someone dissect the word, assume.

It was in The Bad News Bears (the Walter Matthau version in 1976).  The Bear’s coach, who would later be replaced by Coach Buttermaker (played by Matthau), was lecturing the team on his philosophy of coaching.  He wrote the word ASSUME on a chalkboard.  He said they should never assume.  “Whenever you ASSUME, you make an ASS out of YOU and ME.”

To my pre-teen mind, this sentence was amazing on two fronts.  It showed that a cuss word can be buried inside a regular word.  Quite a revelation.  It also showed that one should never assume anything in life, because, well, you know the rest of the sentence.

Since then, I’ve learned there’s a lot more to the word ASSUME.  In fact, it is the essence of becoming a leader.

Consider some phrases that describe a new leadership position:

-She took on the new team lead position.

-He received a promotion to supervisor.

-She was hired to replace the manager who just left.

-They created a new management position for him.

-We are happy to announce we’ve brought on Jeff Smith, who will be our new General Manager.

Sure, all of these describe important leadership roles.  There’s some person filling each slot.  We know whose name is in which box on the org chart.

But, can we assume they are a leader?  Maybe, maybe not.  Remember what happens when we assume.

Leaders are those who assume the mindset and perspective needed to actually lead others.  When a leader assumes their role, they’re stepping into the ownership position.  They own their role.  They own the direction.  They own the outcomes.  They spend their time on offense, rather than preparing their defense.

More importantly, when they assume their leadership role, they become the servant to those they lead.  They realize that nothing happens without the people they’re leading.  They look for opportunities to multiply their efforts and the efforts of those they lead.

Assuming a leadership role is much more than merely accepting the new position.  In fact, it often has nothing to do with your current position in the organization.  You can (and should) be a leader long before you’re granted the position by someone else.

Look around your organization.  Who are the true leaders?  You’ll probably notice that they’re the ones who have fully assumed the role.

 

 

Be the Candle

There’s a place in Baja, on the Sea of Cortez side, about 100 miles south of San Felipe…

“It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.”  – Confucius (Kung Fu Tzu)

There’s a place in Baja, on the Sea of Cortez side, about 100 miles south of San Felipe called Gonzaga Bay.  You can drive there pretty easily (by Baja standards) nowadays.  But, 30 years ago, it was quite an adventure to get there.  Your reward for all that off road adventure (other than the journey itself)?  An off-the-grid community of small “houses” on a beautiful bay with whatever supplies you were able to bring with you.

Beyond the stark beauty of the bay, the warm water, fresh ocean breezes, and perfect cocktail conditions, the thing I remember most was the darkness.  The stars were so close you could almost touch them.  On a moonless night, you couldn’t see your hand in front of your face.

But, light one candle and the scene changed.  The light from that one candle would penetrate the darkness.  The terrain glowed in the light.  Bushes and rocks cast shadows in the night.  The darkness was no match for the light from just one candle.

Darkness is all around us.  That darkness may even come from within.  We can choose to let the darkness consume us and everything we do.

Or, we can be the candle.

Years of Experience

The school of hard knocks never issues a diploma, but it does yield a lifetime of experience…

knowledge-vs-experience

“I’ve been with this company for 35 years.”

“I’ve been in this industry since it started.”

“I remember when we used typewriters to fill out those forms.”

“I’ve forgotten more about this, than that new guy will ever know.”

“I’m not sure how things are supposed to work.  I just started a couple of years ago.”

“I hope they give me a raise soon.  I’m the only person who knows how to process all the claim types.”

“There’s no way someone will ever figure out how to replace me.  I wouldn’t even remember all the steps if I had to tell someone.  It’s automatic for me.”

Experience counts.  There’s no replacement for the lessons learned by doing, succeeding, failing, recovering, making it up as you go, reinventing, punting, switching directions, and trying again.

There’s no shortcut to learning how a business or industry ebbs and flows throughout a year, or through the ups and downs of the economic cycle.  A business that’s a no-brainer during the up-cycle can, and will, turn into a nightmare in a down-cycle.  A person who can lead a business through an entire up and down cycle can’t help but learn all the ins and outs of that business (and its industry).

But, what’s the true value of all that experience?  Nope, that’s not it…

The real value comes when you teach and mentor others.  It’s relatively easy to master something for yourself.  The real challenge, and deepest learning, is in teaching others.  Not just the raw facts and steps to something, but connecting and passing on the passion that you have and watching your “student” define their own passion about the topic.

Consider your years of experience doing something.  Maybe you’ve been in a particular job for twenty years.  Can you honestly say that you’ve had twenty real years of experience, or twenty one-year experiences?

What’s the difference?

The difference is whether you’ve merely stacked the same one-year experiences on top of one another, or built and connected a compounding level of expertise in your twenty years.  It means looking back at the (hopefully) countless people you’ve helped along the way to become the best versions of themselves.  It means that you’ve found ways to multiply yourself and your impact by working with, and teaching, others.

The school of hard knocks never issues a diploma, but it does yield a lifetime of experience.  That experience only counts if you take the time to pass it on to someone else.

 

 

Image Credit

The Truth about Grudges

The easy thing to do is turn each injustice into a grudge…

It doesn’t take long in life for injustice to come your way.

Your mommy takes your toy away before you’re finished with it.  Injustice!  How do you deal with it?  Maybe you cry, or throw a hissy fit.  Chances are, since your attention span at 18 months is pretty short, you’ll forget about the injustice and get another toy.

Life isn’t fair, and neither are some people.  Things go wrong.  Plans get up-ended.  Promises aren’t always kept.  A friend or family member may offend us.  Someone we love may destroy themselves with addiction.  We might be the victim of a heinous crime.

Live long enough, and the injustices (both real and imaginary) will pile up.  What to do?  Crying may be appropriate.  And there’s nothing like the emotional release of a good hissy fit every now and then.  But, after that, then what?

The easy thing to do is turn each injustice into a grudge.  That way, you can stack the latest grudge on top of the others you’re carrying.  If your grudges become disorganized, you can spend some quality time dwelling on them and get them reorganized.  If they get too heavy, enlisting the help of others to carry some of your grudges is always helpful.

The burden of a grudge is carried by the victim.  The perpetrator, whether real or not, carries no such burden.  The perpetrator may carry regret, but they feel none of the weight of your grudge.

In our quest to never forget the lessons of an injustice, we wrap these lessons inside the grudge.  It’s a package deal.

For this reason, letting go, forgiving, can seem impossible.  Forgiveness runs counter to our natural instincts.  But forgiveness is about much more than survival.  It’s about finding a way to thrive with a clear focus on the things in life that really matter.

Letting go of a grudge doesn’t mean ignoring the lesson.  It means freeing yourself from the weight that only you are carrying.