Category: Courage

We Are All Mountain Climbers

Until you face a climb yourself, you can never fully understand what it takes.

AlanAroras--Mt Everest 2013

There it is…Mount Everest from the air.  Each year, about 150-200  climbers attempt to reach its summit, 29,029 feet above sea level.  There are thousands of other mountain peaks in the world, but Everest is the highest, and most challenging.  Of course, from this angle it looks pretty tame.

That’s the thing about mountains.  Perspective is everything.  Until you face a climb yourself, you can never fully understand what it takes.  Watching others make the climb, or hearing their stories about what it was like, are no substitute for taking on the climb for yourself.

Look around you.  If you look closely, you’ll see that each of us are climbing a mountain.  Some mountains are short and easy, while others are as high or higher than our friend, Mr. Everest.

This is the point where I could wax on poetically about striving for the highest peaks in life, chasing ever higher summits, new vistas, and new challenges.  Yes, do all of that.  Don’t let anyone stop you…especially yourself.

No, I’m not going to talk about the standard, inspirational mountain stuff.  Instead, I’m going to talk about weight.

When embarking on a climb, is it better to carry twenty pounds, fifty pounds, or one-hundred pounds of gear on your back?  Obviously, all things being equal, less weight is better.  Gravity is not your friend.

How much weight are you carrying on your climb?  Only the essentials?  Anything extra?  Are you carrying baggage that won’t be used?  Why?  Carrying all that extra baggage isn’t helping you reach your summit.

What about your fellow climbers, especially those closest to you?  How much extra baggage are they carrying?  How much of it is yours?

The best strategy for extra baggage (and its unnecessary weight) is to avoid packing it in the first place.

 

 

Photo Credit:  Alan Arora, who owes me some details on how he was able to be in the cockpit jump seat of an Airbus A319 at the perfect time to capture such a beautiful shot of Mount Everest.

What the Flock is Going on Here!?!?

Which are you, predator or prey?

Lots of animals live and move in groups.  Cows, sheep, wildebeest, mackerel, geese, humans…just to name some examples.  We’ve come up with lots of names for these groupings:  herd, flock, school, gaggle, gang, company, industry trade group, union, political party.

Each of these groupings have one primary purpose:  defense.  There is safety in numbers, or so the saying goes.  Groups moving in unison appear larger to predators.  Their coordinated movements confuse and intimidate those who would otherwise do harm to the individuals in the group.

When predators attack, they pick the weakest and most vulnerable in the group to attack first.  That’s okay with the group, since protection of the group as a whole is paramount.  Any particular individual is less important than the survival of the entire group.

Predators often travel alone.  Eagles, bears, cheetahs, sharks, jaguars, Tesla…all loners.  Sure, some predators travel in groups.  Lions have their pride.  Wolves have their pack.  Orcas and dolphins have their pods.  The primary goal of a predator, whether alone or in a group, is offense.  They work in a coordinated effort to maximize return on their energy investment…capturing the most prey with the least amount of energy output.

Nothing is safe in the animal kingdom.  The food chain takes no prisoners.  The hunter often becomes the hunted.  The same is true in human enterprises.  In the (hopefully) never ending capitalist cycle of invention, construction, destruction, re-invention, and reconstruction, the roles of predator and prey can switch on a moment’s notice.

An instinctive drive for safety leads to new alliances.  Predators who would never think of joining a defensive flock are drawn in by the promise of safety from some new, common enemy.  Defense against the enemy becomes the rule of the day.  Thoughts of maximizing return on investment, or re-inventing the future, are replaced by a focus on defending the status quo of the flock.

In a uniquely human twist, the defensive flock may even take on a new mission.  The defensive flock goes on offense.  This flock actively seeks out the lone predators, the re-inventors.  They marshal all of their creative energy toward destroying predators before their new ideas wreak havoc on the flock.  Protection of the group is all that matters.  The individual is less important.

Which are you?  Predator or prey?  Loner, or flock member?  Are you a former predator, now seeking the safety of a new flock?  Are you defending the status quo, or throwing in with the crazies who are re-inventing the future?  Are you on offense, or defense?

Are you making this choice for yourself, or are you allowing the flock to make the decision for you?

Happily Ever After

In fairy tales (and many books and movies), we spend most of the story learning how our happy couple meets and falls in love.

In fairy tales (and many books and movies), we spend most of the story learning how our happy couple meets and falls in love.  We learn about the challenges they must overcome in their quest to be together.  Suspense builds to a fever pitch as the forces of evil do everything in their power to keep this couple from fulfilling their destiny…togetherness forever.  If the story has a happy ending (and most do), they live happily ever after.  The End.

Real life is all about the happily ever after part.  It’s about what happens after the couple rides off into the sunset in their horse-drawn chariot, or charcoal grey Honda Civic.  Happily ever after requires curiosity and a spirit of adventure.  It’s nurtured by a willingness to work and grow together.  It requires the triumphs of success and the lessons of failure.  It requires faith, hope, and most of all, happiness.

Happiness doesn’t come from anywhere but within.  Couples (hopefully) learn quickly that their happiness (both individually, and as a couple) is driven by their thoughts, attitudes, and actions.

Our pathways alone bring neither happiness, nor sadness.  We bring these ourselves, wherever we go.

As my wife and I celebrate 25 years of Happily Ever After today, I am eternally grateful for the happiness she brings to our journey every day.

The Gift of Presence

What comes after the summit? Doesn’t matter. It will be revealed when I get there.

The morning sun warms my back as a nice sea breeze cools my face.  The trail turns slightly uphill at first, and then straight uphill for a long ascent.

I hear the rhythm of my breath and my heartbeat pounding in my ears.  My shoes crunch in the dirt with each step.  The birds are chirping and I occasionally hear scurrying sounds next to the trail as I lumber past.  I sometimes hear the music playing on my iPhone…it’s AC/DC, For Those About to Rock.  Perfect for this climb.

No thoughts of the broken sprinkler that needs to be replaced in the front yard.  Nothing rolling around in my head about the project I’m starting at work.  No thoughts about the book I’m close to finishing, or my next blog post (notwithstanding this little dispatch).

What comes after the summit?  Doesn’t matter.  It will be revealed when I get there.

Being present is a gift we can give ourselves.  Undivided attention, sharp focus, and a clear mind are within our reach anytime, if we choose.

Here’s something that’s easy to forget.  Being present is even more valuable to those around us…family, friends, co-workers, the cashier.  We can be present for them anytime, if we choose.

No One is “Just a…”

Listen closely, and you’ll hear the “I’m just a…” phrase applied in many circumstances. You may even use it yourself. I’ve inflicted it on myself a time or two (or three).

“I don’t know the answer, I’m just a temp.”

“I can’t authorize that refund, I’m just a cashier.”

“Clearly, nobody here cares what I think.  I’m just a worker bee.”

“I could probably help those wounded veterans, but I’m just a private citizen.  I’m sure there’s a government agency for that.”

“There’s no way I could ever do that job.  I’m just a high school graduate.”

Listen closely, and you’ll hear the “I’m just a…” phrase applied in many circumstances.  You may even use it yourself.  I’ve inflicted it on myself a time or two (or three).

Ownership is risky.  It requires personal responsibility, a willingness to step up, make hard choices, and be held accountable for your actions.  “I’m just a…” is a ticket to minimizing the expectations we place on ourselves.

The Dark Side

“Just a…” has an even darker side.  It can be used to limit the expectations we place on those around us:

  • “John’s a decent manager, but he’s really just a guy keeping the trains coming in on time.  I doubt he could step into anything new.”
  • “She’s just a summer intern, so I don’t expect her to light the world on fire for us.”
  • “He’s just a beginner, so we need to cut him some slack.”
  • “She’s just a kid.”
  • “He’s just a drug addict, so he will never amount to much.”

When expectations are minimized, minimized outcomes usually follow.

Applying the “just a…” phrase to anyone, including ourselves, ignores potential.  It ignores our ability to grow, change, improve, and amaze.

I Got in a Fight Today (almost)

I stepped back to avoid the shove that I knew was coming. He stopped short and stood there, waiting for me to escalate.

As a crazy trail runner, I look forward to days like today.  My truck’s outside temperature reading showed 93 degrees as I embarked on my run.  I planned to take the slightly less strenuous route, which meant I’d save the biggest hill climbs for the middle part of the run, rather than the beginning.  As usual, I stopped at each bench for a round of push-ups…ten at each bench, rather than the usual fifteen.  Giving myself a break in the heat seemed like a good plan.

My run up Big Red, the highest peak in the park, had gone well, meaning  I was able to make it to the top without stopping.  The good news is there’s a bench at the top, so I was obliged to stop and do push-ups, and catch my breath.  I looked forward to descending the back side of Big Red, and reaching the turnaround point where I’d be heading into the wind.  Running into the wind, and catching a bit of shade from the trees next to the trail would help me cool off and recover from the first couple miles of the run.

I had just started enjoying the shady portion of the run when all of a sudden a guy on a mountain bike whizzed by me on the left.  In fact, he was so close that he actually clipped my left elbow on his way by.  I yelled,”IT’S ON THE LEFT, JACKASS!  TRY HAVING SOME TRAIL MANNERS!”  I didn’t think he heard anything and I continued down the trail.

As I came up to the only bench with a roof (we refer to it as The Bus Stop), there was Mr. Mountain Biker.  He was off his bike, and seemed to be waiting for me.  I thought about just running by, acting oblivious.  But, it was a bench, and I’m required to do at least ten push-ups at each bench.

I approached the bench and just as I started my push-ups, Mr. Mountain Biker asked, “What’s the deal with you?  You veered across the trail just as I was about to pass!  What were you yelling?”

I finished my ten push-ups, and took a nice swig of water from my water bottle.  Maybe I should have skipped this bench was the first thought that came in to my mind.  I generally like my runs to be solitary affairs.  There’s nothing like pushing against my physical limits to clear my mind.  “Have you seen the signs around the park?  Bikers yield to runners, and runners and bikers yield to horseback riders.”  I caught my breath and continued, “I didn’t hear you coming since you didn’t say ‘ON YOUR LEFT’ like most bike riders do.”  Then came the fighting words before I could stop them.  “Do you know anything about trail etiquette?”

That last question didn’t sit well with Mr. Mountain Biker.  He tossed his bike aside. “I asked you what you were yelling at me, butthead!”  He stepped toward me, and I thought he was about to shove me in the chest like seventh graders do at the beginning of fights.

I stepped back to avoid the shove that I knew was coming.  He stopped short and stood there, waiting for me to escalate.  I couldn’t help noticing that I was about six inches taller and at least 50 pounds heavier than Mr. Mountain Biker.  I think my subconscious mind noticed as well and that’s when the words started flowing.  “Buddy, you picked the wrong guy to mess with.  Sure, I’m a trail runner, but this is just for conditioning.  My real hobby is Jiu Jitsu, and I’m a personal injury attorney, always looking for new plaintiffs.”

He stepped back a couple steps.  I’m not sure if it was the Jiu Jitsu part, or the attorney part, that scared him the most.

“My trainer is going to love this!  I actually get to use some of the submission moves he’s been teaching me, outside the gym!

He stepped back another couple of steps, and moved to pick up his bike. “Dude, relax!”

“I am relaxed!  I just wanted you to know what you’re up against.  Besides, I’m the one who got hit, so I’m trying to figure out what your deal is.”

Mr. Mountain Biker was looking for the quickest way to exit the scene.  “Sorry about your arm.  I’ll be more careful next time.”  He hopped on his bike and headed down the trail…luckily in the opposite direction from where I wanted to go.

Thankfully, the rest of my run was uneventful.

As I listed my hobbies for Mr. Mountain Biker, I failed to list my favorite.  Fiction writer.  Fiction writing is basically writing lies for fun (and profit, if anyone buys your stories).

I am a trail runner.  I occasionally watch a UFC fight, but the blood makes me queasy.  My friends never let me live down the time I actually fainted while watching a UFC fight.  I work with corporate lawyers on a regular basis, but I’ve never even met a personal injury attorney.

Oh yeah, about Mr. Mountain Biker.  He doesn’t exist either.  Isn’t fiction great!

What Are You Saying?

When talking to your friends, family, employees, or anyone else, do you use encouraging words, or discouraging words?

When talking to your friends, family, employees, or anyone else, do you use encouraging words, or discouraging words?

The words and tone you choose matter.  They reflect, and impact, your attitude.  Your words are the window into your perspective on the world.

Choose discouraging words, and you actively create a discouraging environment for those around you.

Choose encouraging words, use encouraging questions, and guess what…you create an encouraging environment.

The power to create an encouraging environment, an encouraging attitude, is in your hands everyday.

Here’s an exercise for you.  Seek out three people to encourage today.  Encourage them with your words, your questions, and your actions.  Show them that you are genuinely interested in what they have to say.  Be appreciative of their unique efforts and skills.  Actively consider how to help them be more successful in achieving their goals.  Repeat this exercise everyday.

Does this exercise make you uncomfortable?  If so, maybe you should be the first person you seek out to encourage.

Everything Looks Easy…

Everything looks easy (from the grandstands)…

fmx_flip

A pro golfer smacks a 325 yard drive off the tee.  He has modified his swing perfectly so the ball draws to follow the dog-leg turn in the fairway at about the 225-yard mark.  He bends over and picks up the tee, strolling casually away as if this is just a routine shot.  For him, it is routine.

A pitcher throws a ball 98 miles per hour, straight down the middle for a strike, and follows that up with an 80 mile per hour change-up with the exact same throwing motion…fooling the batter with both pitches.

A Cirque de Soleil performer soars through the air upside-down, holding on with one hand to what appears to be a satin sheet hanging down from above.  The soaring routine lasts 7-10 minutes, and the entire time the performer is merely hanging onto the satin sheet.

A freestyle motocrosser performs a no-handed back-flip across an 80 foot jump and lands it effortlessly.

A figure skater performs a jump combination that includes a triple spin in the air, followed by another triple spin in the opposite direction…landing flawlessly.

A general contractor and his crew convert an empty lot into a custom-built home, complete with custom landscaping, in less than 180 days.

A CEO gives an inspiring talk to 500 employees gathered in an auditorium.  There are also 25,000 others watching remotely on the web.  Every word is clear, precise, and each employee connects with the CEO’s message.

The audience only sees the final product.  They don’t see the countless hours (often, years) of dedication, practice, and failures that have made the difficult look easy.

Where are you spending your time?  In the grandstands where everything looks easy?  Or, in the game where commitment, and a willingness to fail on the way to success, are the price of admission?