When an Idea Stops Being Yours Alone

There’s a quiet moment in meaningful work when your idea begins to live in someone else. You see it in the way they talk about it. You hear it in their enthusiasm. You notice how they add their experience and their language to it until the idea carries their imprint as much as yours.

It can feel strange the first time it happens. You know the origin, but they suddenly feel the spark of the idea for themselves. That’s the moment you know your idea has begun to grow.

Real success often arrives like this, but we don’t always notice it. People begin to adopt your idea, reshape it, and eventually believe in it with a conviction that can be surprising. They explain it to others in their own voice. They defend it. They improve it. If the idea spreads far enough, some will forget where it began. Your name may fade from the origin story. That loss of attribution can sting if you hold the idea too tightly. It should feel like success instead.

Leaders have a responsibility here. Ideas rarely spread through logic alone. They spread through emotional ownership that grows when people discover a piece of themselves in the idea. When that happens, they carry the idea farther than you ever could by insisting on authorship.

A leader’s task is to create the conditions for this transfer. You offer the early shape of the idea, then invite others to step inside and help build the next version. You ask for their insight, their experience, and their concerns. You let their fingerprints gather on the surface until the idea becomes a shared creation. People support what they help to shape.

As others begin to adopt your idea, they’ll need to feel safety in their new enthusiasm. They need to know they’re not the only ones who believe in this direction. A wise leader pays attention to this. They take the people who have embraced their idea and introduce them to others who have done the same. They form new connections, helping to create a small community where confidence strengthens and courage grows. When people see others adopting the same idea, they feel validated, understood, and ready to act.

This is how ideas gain momentum inside organizations. One person sees the promise. Another begins to shape it. A third begins to feel inspired. Before long, it becomes a shared narrative. It starts with your imagination, but it continues through their belief and conviction.

Once people begin to adopt your idea, you must release it. You may or may not receive credit for it. Either outcome is acceptable.

The goal was never to build a monument to your creativity. The goal was to move the organization forward. When others bring your idea into new conversations without you, your contribution has done its job.

Your attention can return to the horizon. There’s always another idea waiting for you, another possibility that needs your curiosity, another problem that needs new framing.

Good leaders plant seeds. Great leaders celebrate when those seeds take root across the organization.

Inspired by Dr. Michael Levin’s post, h/t – Tim Ferriss

Photo by Alex Beauchamp on Unsplash – a new idea taking root and growing beyond its beginning.

The Opportunity to Level Up

Ego may be our biggest barrier to learning.

It’s like having a guy working the door at a nightclub, deciding who or what gets in.

We assume we already know everything, so we stop listening. We nod politely. But inwardly we’ve already dismissed the person speaking. Or the article. Or the correction.

There’s often good reason for our defensiveness. Being wrong about something important can have real consequences. Our ego is trying to protect us from the genuine discomfort and potential costs of being mistaken.

The paradox is that the very thing protecting us from being wrong in the moment often prevents us from being more right in the future.

What if instead of having a bouncer who turns everyone away, we hired a smarter gatekeeper? One who doesn’t just protect us from being wrong, but actually helps us get better at being right?

What if we treat new information, even the stuff that contradicts what we think we know, as an invitation?

An opportunity to level up. To upgrade our understanding. To sharpen our thinking.

What happens when we level up? Our predictions start getting more accurate. Our explanations become clearer and more useful to others. We catch our own mistakes faster…sometimes before they even leave our mouth. We become more curious about the very areas we feel most certain.

The next time someone disagrees with you or presents information that challenges what you believe, pause before your ego’s bouncer slams the door.

Ask yourself, “What if they’re right? Can I learn something new?”

This doesn’t mean accepting everything that comes your way. But you can listen. Examine the ideas. Question them. Test them against what you know.

That’s true intellectual courage.

And it’s the only way to keep growing in a world that never stops changing.

“It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows.” – Epictetus

Photo by Vinay Tryambake on Unsplash

I’m Not That — What You’re Not Might Be Holding You Back

Sometimes the hardest limits aren’t what we believe we are…but what we’ve decided we’re not.


Leader: I’m hitting a wall. No matter how hard I try, something’s stuck.
Coach: Where?
Leader: Connecting with my direct reports. The one-on-one meetings. All the details. I’m just not wired for any of it.
Coach: You sure?
Leader: I’ve never been good at connection. I’m not super technical. I’m not touchy-feely. I’m not a detail person.
Coach: Sounds like you’ve got your “not” list down cold.
Leader: Isn’t that just self-awareness?
Coach: Could be. Or maybe you’re protecting yourself with that list.
Leader: I’m not trying to be someone I’m not.
Coach: Are you avoiding someone you could become? What if the growth you’ve been chasing is on the other side of “I’m not”?
Leader: What if I do all that work and don’t like what I find?
Coach: Then you’ll learn something real. But what if you find a strength you didn’t know you had?
Leader: That feels like a stretch.
Coach: Growth usually does.


“Ego is as much what you don’t think you are as what you think you are.”
Joe Hudson

We usually spot ego in people who overestimate themselves. Their arrogance and swagger enter the room before they do.

But ego has a quieter side. It hides in the limits we quietly accept. Not in who we think we are, but in who we’ve decided we’re not.

“I’m not technical.”
“I’m not good at details.”
“I hate public speaking.”

These negations, the things we distance ourselves from, might feel like declarations of strength and clarity.

But often they are boundaries we’ve unconsciously placed around our identity. Once we’ve drawn these lines, we stop growing beyond them. They protect us from challenges, discomfort, and the hard work we know will be required.

Leaders who define themselves by what they aren’t often:

-Avoid feedback that challenges their identity.

-Miss chances to adapt or grow.

-Choose the path of least resistance.

-Struggle to connect with different types of people.

-Dismiss skills they haven’t developed (yet).

If you’re feeling stuck, ask yourself:

-What am I avoiding by saying, “I’m not that”?

-What am I protecting by holding on to that story?

-What might open up if I let it go?

Sometimes the next chapter of growth begins not with a new strength, but with a willingness to loosen our grip on the stories we tell ourselves.

If you want to grow as a leader—or help others grow—it’s not enough to ask, “Who am I?”

You also have to ask, “What am I willing to become?”

Photo by Amir Mortezaie on Unsplash

Ego and Leadership

“A leader is best when people barely know he exists.  When his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.” –Lao Tzu

Which is more important?

Being the leader everyone knows is in charge, or

Being the leader who helps others take charge?

The only way any leader can succeed is to multiply themselves with the help of others.  Only by helping others take charge does the engine of multiplication come to life.

How can you best create ownership within your organization?

Giving commands, or

Asking questions?

This is an easy question.  It’s also one of hardest for many to put into action.  Asking questions is the answer.

What matters most?

Planting your ideas with others, so those seeds of thought take on a life of their own, or

Receiving accolades for your brilliant ideas?

Accolades are nice, but there’s nothing like the quiet satisfaction of seeing your ideas surpass your wildest expectations in the hands of others.

What’s the secret to answering each of these questions correctly?

Realizing the difference between confidence and ego.  Ego is like a wall that separates each of us from truly limitless potential.  Ego is fueled by fear and envy.  Ego worries about embarrassment.

Confidence is what you get when you find a way to leave your ego at the door.  Confidence isn’t afraid, or envious. Confidence loves to explore.  Confidence is happy to let go of itself.  Confidence is willing to be wrong, or look foolish, without embarrassment…especially when pursuing the biggest truths in life

A leader driven by ego is powerless, without realizing it.

“As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others.” –Bill Gates