Writing – Page 4 – Grandpa Bob Encouraging Leadership

I’ve received (and read) lots of advice in my lifetime. I’ve even had an opportunity to give advice to others.

The most valuable piece of advice I’ve received was from my dear friend, Jay Scott, around 1991 or 1992 (paraphrasing):

“Mr. Dailey (we refer to each other formally, of course), everything in life comes down to writing a check. You want a new car? Write a check. You want to learn a new skill? Write a check. You want to add something nice to your house? Write a check. You’re either going to write the check or not. All the rest is just detail.”

When he said it, I didn’t think much of it. It sounded like a flippant observation that oversimplified life’s choices.

As I’ve lived my life and encountered tons of situations, opportunities, and decisions, I’ve come to realize the genius in his observation.

The check may be money…the literal meaning of the word “check.” Sometimes the check is the decision to invest something of your own personal value into an idea, an object, or a cause. The check becomes a commitment of your finite time and energy…and maybe your money.

The idea that all the rest is just detail reinforces the notion that while we may elaborate on our decisions with lengthy justifications or stories, at the core, it’s about that decisive moment of commitment.

I’ve found that most of the time I have my decision made about something within a minute of considering my alternatives (whatever they may be). Whether I act immediately on that decision (write the check) or wait some undetermined time period (sometimes years) is another matter.

I’ve applied this fundamental knowledge about humans and their check-writing decisions many times. If my boss says that he supports an idea or strategy, I try to get him to “write the check” about that support as quickly as possible. It’s easy to support an idea in the abstract or tell your employee that you support him or her. It’s something entirely different to then act on that support by “writing the check.”

If the boss (or anyone for that matter) talks about how they believe in something or they support something, if they’re not willing to write the check for it, you know they’re just telling a story. Only when they commit their check (money, time, reputation, etc.) to something are they truly supporting it. Another phrase, “having skin in the game” applies here. No skin in the game, no commitment.

It all comes down to writing the check.

p/c – Tommy Lisbin – Unsplash Why? This climber has written the check(s) and is fully committed to this task. And, the goal is in sight.

‘Cause you can’t jump the track,

we’re like cars on a cable,

And life’s like an hourglass, glued to the table.

No one can find the rewind button, girl

So cradle your head in your hands

And breathe… just breathe,

Oh breathe, just breathe.

–Anna Nalick

Grandma Anne had a small hourglass in her kitchen. It was her egg timer, and I’m sure thousands of other kitchens had the same thing. In my Grandma’s kitchen, that timer was the magical key to making Eggs in the Egg Cup. The starring attraction was a perfectly soft-boiled egg. The proper dipping tool was a lady finger (toast cut into strips).

Forty years later, I could soft-boil some eggs. I could slice my toast into strips. I could find proper egg cups for serving. It wouldn’t be the same. I don’t have Grandma’s egg timer, or her loving touch.

Hourglasses don’t care about how time passes. Their job is only to measure its passing. Each grain of sand merely represents a moment in time.

We know better. Some moments carry more magic than others.

When I started this post, it was going to be about time passing through the hourglass and how it symbolizes our lives. We only get one pass through the hourglass (it’s glued to the table). We don’t know how much sand is left. We don’t know if our hourglass will fall off the proverbial table and shatter in an instant.

Nothing new there, but I had a sense there was something else, so I started writing to find out.

The image of Grandma Anne’s egg timer and lady fingers filled my head. I haven’t had Egg in the Egg Cup in forty years. Grandma Anne passed away more than twenty years ago. Yet I can see the many breakfasts she served when I spent the night at her house. I smell the bacon. I hear the crunching of the toast.

She taught me Yahtzee, and then Triple Yahtzee. I can hear the dice rolling around in the cup. She folded a napkin in the bottom of the dice cup to keep the noise down. She shared a lot of Grandma wisdom on strategic thinking during those Yahtzee games.

One thing is certain as the sand passes through my hourglass. I get only one pass. But I get to experience my memories as often as I’d like…even when I least expect it. How cool is that!

Photo Credit: Nick Valdovinos