Permission to Conclude – and Get Started

A friend called recently. He’s been running his own business successfully for over a decade. Things are going well, really well.  That’s why he reached out.

He wanted to talk through some ideas. Usually when I get these calls, it’s because a business owner is thinking about making a major change.  Maybe selling, maybe acquiring another business, maybe just trying to get unstuck from a rut. But this wasn’t that kind of conversation.

He explained that his team is doing great work. His own role had evolved into mostly business development and handling occasional fire drills. Lately, there haven’t been many fires. The business is running so smoothly that, for the first time in years, he has time on his hands. Unexpected free time.

That’s usually a good thing, right?

He thought so too at first. He ramped up his business development efforts (always wise to add growth fuel to a business), and then he did something else.  He stepped back and watched. Observed. Assessed.

For the first time in a while, he was able to look at the processes and tools his company uses with a fresh set of eyes. The eyes of an outsider.

That’s when he saw the gaps.

Not because things were falling apart. But because, with a little perspective, he realized how much better things could be. He saw inefficiencies, opportunities for automation, outdated systems, and new tools that could transform how they operate.

His brain lit up. Ideas started flowing. He made lists. And more lists. He started thinking through what needed to change, planning what to build, what to retire, and how to bring the team into the improvement process.

That’s when he called me.  Not for help solving the problems, but because he suddenly had too many ideas and plans.

He’d become overwhelmed by the possibilities.

So, I asked him: What would it take to give yourself permission to conclude the brainstorming, the planning…and begin?

He paused.

As the boss, no one else was going to tell him to stop generating ideas and to start work on executing them. There’s no urgent deadline forcing a decision. No one asking for a status update. The machine is humming along, profitably. But he can see how much more potential is just sitting there waiting to be tapped.

We didn’t talk about his ideas or operations at all. We talked about how to decide. How to identify the vital few initiatives that would make the biggest difference. How to involve his team. How to get moving.

We talked about starting, and how starting builds momentum.

Our brains love ideation. There are no limits, no constraints. It’s energizing to imagine improvements, design new systems, and sketch out possibilities. We feel smart. We feel alive.

But our minds? They get restless. We lie awake at night, spinning. We second-guess ourselves. We get caught in the loop of “what if” and “maybe later.”

That’s where permission to conclude enters the picture.

It’s the quiet decision that says: “I’ve thought enough. I’ve explored enough. I may not have a perfect plan, but I have enough to begin.”

It’s the green light we must give ourselves.  To start, to build, to test, to course-correct.

It’s a commitment. Not to perfection, but to movement.

To gain clarity through execution. To action that reveals what thinking alone cannot.

If you find yourself spinning with ideas, take a deep breath.

Give yourself permission to conclude.

And start.

Photo by Isaac Mugwe on Unsplash – the rider has no idea what lies ahead…only guesses, maybe some visualization of what could be lurking around that dark corner. The only way to find out is to start and figure it out along the way.

h/t – I learned about the concept of the “vital few” over 20 years ago from MAP Consulting. A simple yet powerful realization that we can only work on a few things at any one time. Choose the vital few, work on them, then move to the next set of vital few items after that.

Finding Laughter Amid the Chaos

Life can often feel like a series of unpredictable events coming at you without end.  In this whirlwind, maintaining a sense of humor helps make sense of it all. Humor helps us see challenges not as obstacles, but as opportunities to grow and understand.

Make the Absurd your Friend

Consider this: you’re in the middle of a presentation when your computer suddenly decides to restart for updates. Everyone in the room is waiting, and you’re left standing there. In that moment, you have a choice. You can panic, or you can laugh and say, “Well, I guess my computer decided the razzle-dazzle portion of this presentation is over.” Embracing the absurdity of the situation lightens the mood for everyone involved and shows that you can think on your feet.

Imagine you’re about to start a remote interview.  You take that last sip of coffee and spill some on your shirt.  You realize this nice brown spot is visible on the screen just as the person interviewing you joins the meeting.  It’s easy to let this ruin your day.  Instead, you can chuckle and say, “Nothing like spilling coffee on yourself to make a great first impression!” This acknowledges the problem and humanizes the situation.  Plus, you’ll have a great story to tell later. 

Adding humor to our lives makes us more resilient and improves our attitude. Not taking life too seriously is crucial. Our worries and anxieties are often fleeting. Finding humor in our daily routines, like laughing off an unexpected reboot, shifts our focus from what’s going wrong to what’s funny, fostering a more positive outlook.

Laughter’s Power

Think about a time you were stuck in traffic with friends, running late for an event. Instead of stewing in frustration, someone starts making jokes about the situation, and soon everyone is laughing. The shared humor transforms a stressful experience into a memorable one, strengthening the bonds among your friends.

Laughter connects us to others, breaks down barriers and builds a sense of community. When we share a laugh with someone, we create a bond that transcends differences and fosters empathy. In a world that often feels divided, shared humor can unify. Moments of shared joy are essential to our well-being, reminding us that we are not alone in our experiences.

Life’s unpredictability can be daunting, but it’s definitely a source of great humor if we’re looking for it.  By adopting a mindset that finds humor in the unexpected twists and turns of life, we learn to appreciate the randomness of our experiences. Next time something unexpected happens, imagine it as a scene from a sitcom, with you as the lovable main character.

Find humor in the little things. Accept the absurdity, laugh at the unexpected, and share a joke with those around you. Maintaining a sense of humor is not just about finding joy—it’s about making sense of a life that doesn’t always make sense.

As Jerry Seinfeld puts it, “If you can find humor in anything, you can survive it.”

p/c – Frank McKenna – Unsplash.com

The Delicate Balance of Telling and Teaching

Your role as the teacher and mentor is to prepare your mentee to work independently and effectively…

“I can’t believe she can’t tie her own shoes.  She’s old enough to know by now.”

My friend was talking about his 5-year-old daughter at the time. 

I asked if he’d ever taken the time to teach her how to tie her shoes.  He stared at me and said that wasn’t his job and that she should have figured it out by now. 

Why tell this story (which really happened!)? 

To illustrate how important it is to teach and mentor others…whether they’re our kids, grandkids, employees, family, or friends. 

It should be obvious that if you don’t teach, your student misses out on the chance to truly learn and grow.  By choosing not to teach, you’re short-changing your mentee of the lessons you’ve learned through hard-earned experience.

In moments of urgency or simplicity, direct instructions are most appropriate, providing a clear roadmap for immediate action (telling).

But true teaching is the art of imparting understanding – the “why” behind actions. It requires a commitment of time and energy, and showcases the significance of tasks, the interconnections between steps, and the importance of specific approaches…usually through storytelling.  

What kinds of stories?  Stories that provide a personal connection, illustrate key points, and allow your learners to connect emotionally to what you’re teaching.  Stories also help students drop their defensiveness toward receiving new information.

Another great teaching method is to ask questions. Questions encourage critical thinking.  Ask the student why they think something is important, or how they view a situation.  What would they do in the situation?  What’s happening that may not be obvious? If their answers are incomplete or miss the nuances of a situation, you can provide additional perspectives and help them understand what to look for.

How can we tell stories and ask questions about something when it’s urgent?  We already learned that in urgent situations, telling is often the most appropriate way of getting the right action quickly.  To create truly teachable moments resulting from an urgent event, it’s critical that you take the time after the urgency has passed to discuss lessons learned, and maybe even how to avoid the urgency next time.  

Your role as the teacher and mentor is to prepare your mentee to work independently and effectively.  Not only how to tie their shoes, but why it’s important to tie them in the first place. 

I have one favor to ask:  If you find this information useful, please forward and recommend it to someone else.  Thanks! 

You are the Observer: Using the Hawthorne Effect for Self-Improvement

The Hawthorne Effect refers to a psychological phenomenon where humans modify their behavior in response to being observed or studied. This effect was first observed in the 1920s and 30s during a series of studies conducted at the Western Electric Hawthorne Works in Chicago, hence the name.

The studies were designed to investigate the relationship between lighting conditions and worker productivity. But researchers found that regardless of changes in lighting, workers’ productivity improved when they knew they were being observed. This meant that the mere act of being the subject of an experiment or receiving attention could influence individuals to perform better.

It also means this powerful personal growth tool is available to you. It turns out that you are the observer you’ve been waiting for, the catalyst for your own transformation.

“You can’t learn to swim by reading a book about swimming. You have to get in the water.” – Unknown

The Burpee Quest

Funny thing about burpees:  watching someone do a burpee makes it look super easy (barely an inconvenience).  If a Crossfit guy tells you that a good warmup is 10 burpees per minute for 10 minutes, you might think that’s totally doable…until you try it.  You’ll learn about muscles you haven’t used in years.  You’ll be reminded that gravity is not your friend, and that you’re not as coordinated as you thought.

What if you start by doing 10?  Not 10 per minute for 10 minutes.  Just 10.  Each day.

That’s a tangible and doable goal to start.  You can observe (there’s that word) your progress and set incremental milestones for more.  Maybe you move up to 20 per day the second week, 40 per day the third week. 

A great way to keep track of your progress is to track your progress.  Sounds simple…but most people skip the tracking.  Tracking is your way to observe (there’s it is) your progress, and lets you become your own motivating force.  Write the date and burpee count down on a piece of paper, in your favorite journaling app, or maybe in an Excel spreadsheet. 

You are incrementally moving toward 100 burpees in a day.  You’re tracking your progress and will start to see the significance of each step toward your goal.

There’s something else you can observe (that word again).  Your body’s responses while you’re doing the exercise.  It will get easier as you go.  Easy?  No, just easier.  Your body (and mind) will begin to move to a higher level of performance.  Your baseline capability will increase.  Gravity still isn’t your friend, but you’re starting to learn how to partner with gravity to do the next burpee.

“Learning without reflection is a waste. Reflection without learning is dangerous.” – Confucius

It’s been 4 or 5 weeks since you started this quest.  You’re now able to do 3 sets of 25 burpees each day.  You haven’t reached 100 burpees yet, but you’re well on your way.  If you’re like most people, you might observe (there it is) that you can lighten up a bit at this point.  You’ve totally got this.  You don’t need to push as hard to improve from here.  Your goal is in sight.  Don’t fall into this trap!

This is the moment to refocus your goal…push it out a bit…extend the finish line.  You’ve already mastered the movements, now you need to apply discipline and blow past your original goal of 100 burpees per day.  Parlay this achievement into the next goal? 

Maybe actually using the 100 burpees as the warmup that Crossfit guy described.  You’ve been working on just getting to 100 burpees in a day, but what’s the next exercise you can do after your burpee warmup?    

Same process.  Take it in increments, track your progress, celebrate your milestones, welcome to another new baseline, continue to improve, set the next goal.        

How can you apply this to your profession? 

Actively seek opportunities to acquire new skills. Embrace the awkwardness of not knowing exactly how to do something…and do it anyway.  Remember that the satisfaction of learning and growth is uniquely yours. You, as the observer, choose the path of continuous learning.  It’s the best way (the only way) to adapt to the evolving demands of your profession.

Improve your value in increments, track your progress, establish new baselines, continue to improve.  Sound familiar? 

Solicit constructive feedback from colleagues and mentors, appreciating external input as valuable guidance. However, remember that you are the only one who can internalize and implement these insights.  Nobody will do it for you.

“Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterward.” – Vernon Law

Your Keys to Self-Improvement

  1. Consistently integrate self-observation and improvement into your routine, recognizing that only you can chart the course of your personal growth.
  2. Reflect on your experiences, setbacks, and successes, understanding that the satisfaction of improvement is a personal journey. You are the sole interpreter of your progress.
  3. Remain flexible and open-minded, adjusting your methods based on feedback and new insights. As the observer, you continually determine refinements to your approach.
  4. Embrace setbacks as opportunities for growth, understanding that the satisfaction derived from overcoming challenges is a deeply personal experience. Stay committed to your objectives, recognizing that only you can appreciate the significance of your efforts.

The Hawthorne Effect is your friend (unlike gravity).  Use it and always remember that you are the observer, the driver, and the one who benefits most from your continuous improvement journey.