Have you ever looked at all the processes running in the background on your computer? You can see them in Task Manager.
Some of them are recognizable and necessary. But there are probably a bunch that don’t need to be there. Some may have been put there by advertising platforms, some may be remnants of old programs you used years ago.
Each one consumes your computer’s finite CPU and memory capacity. Each one is jockeying for position in the hierarchy of tasks.
If you’re able to take the time to identify and eliminate the unnecessary background tasks, your computer’s performance improves. Software runs faster. You can open and work on bigger files without waiting forever (measured in seconds nowadays) for them to load.
How many meaningless or unnecessary background processes do you have running in your life?
How many of these processes consume valuable emotional capacity in your head?
How many are sapping your energy, your creativity, your productivity, or your ability to think deeply about a subject?
Our minds are amazingly powerful. They can provide incredible clarity and understanding. They can energize and motivate us to push into new frontiers, explore our limits, and hone our craft beyond all outside expectations.
But if we allow our mind to be clouded, to waste its valuable processing power on dumb things, unnecessary background processes, or dramas that have nothing to do with us, all that amazing power is wasted.
Our understanding and motivation about what we’re doing, both now and in the future, will become cloudy and fragmented. It’s easy to see how this can lead to a sense of hopelessness…a sense that there’s nothing for us in the future except for more cloudiness and confusion.
Consider all the distractions we allow to get in the way of our clear thinking.
How many can we eliminate? How many can we channel in a productive direction, or remove entirely from our lives?
It’s worth our finite time to do a “background process audit” in our life. See just how much of our emotional capacity is being wasted without adding any real value to our lives.
It won’t be easy. These meaningless background processes are desperate to continue living in our head. This audit will require self-awareness, introspection, and sometimes difficult decisions about what to eliminate.
The payoff for all this effort?
Mental clarity for the things that truly matter, increased productivity, and a more hopeful view of our future.
I follow a small handful of Youtubers. Most of the channels I watch focus on small business owners in various industries, or folks who are building an independent lifestyle…mostly off-grid.
I love to watch them create something valuable and useful out of nothing but an idea and their belief that they can do it. Sometimes they succeed on their first try, other times they need to adjust and try again. I admire their willingness to push themselves way outside their comfort zone in pursuit of the way they want to live.
This past weekend, I watched as the twenty-year-old daughter of someone I follow took the plunge to start her own coffee house. She has 1-2 years of experience being a barista and talked about how much she loved that job, her teammates, and her customers.
She told a nice story about how her mom met her dad 20-plus years ago. He and his band came to perform at the coffee house where her mom worked as a barista. She said that she would be investing her life savings in this new venture.
She started by leasing a 1,900 square-foot space that had all the bones to become a great coffee house location. She and her mom set about visualizing and planning the space, identifying the equipment she’d need, and how they’d work together to remodel the space. They talked about where the small kitchen would go, how the prep tables would be organized, where the coffee counter and espresso machines would go, how the space would be decorated for comfort and a relaxing vibe.
As I watched them walk around visualizing, the experienced business manager in me started thinking about all the paperwork she’d need to file. The health code permits, the special equipment she’d need, the certifications that may be required to serve food, the creation of a business and DBA, opening bank accounts, capitalizing, and accounting for the business…sales and income tax filings.
I wondered how many customers she’d need to serve each day to generate an adequate cash flow and profit. Had she identified her suppliers? Did she know the supply costs yet? How many employees would she need to hire to cover all the shifts? Was she ready to establish a payroll process for her new employees, establish HR systems, purchase the various insurance coverages she’d need, including worker’s compensation coverage.
Cut to the next scene in their video, and they’re filing the DBA paperwork, and starting to file the health code paperwork and forms. It turns out that there is a healthy server certification that she’ll need to obtain (which includes a ton of study materials and a written test).
She was undeterred. She plowed straight into the process, all the while renovating and remodeling the space along with the help of friends and family. It was truly a labor of love for her. After 3-4 weeks of work, the place was starting to take shape.
What happens next? I’ll be tuning in next week to find out.
There’s a prevailing stereotype that youth and inexperience are synonymous with recklessness and abandon.
How can this 20-year-old possibly know enough to successfully launch her new coffee business?
Look more closely and it may be that her lack of experience and knowledge are the catalyst for her leap into entrepreneurship. She knows that she doesn’t want to work for someone else, and she loved her experience being a barista. Why not create her own coffee house?
One of the paradoxes of entrepreneurship is that knowledge, while valuable, can sometimes become a barrier to action. Older generations, armed with years of experience and a deep understanding of the intricacies involved in starting and running a business, may find themselves paralyzed by the fear of failure, or an unwillingness to put in all the work they know lies ahead. Knowing what they know, they can easily talk themselves out of almost anything.
On the other hand, young entrepreneurs often possess an infectious optimism and a sense of invincibility that propels them forward. Unencumbered by the weight of past failures or the mounting responsibilities of adulthood, they approach new ventures with a boldness that can be both exhilarating and inspiring. Their willingness to take risks stems not from ignorance, but from a belief that they can overcome any obstacle that stands in their way.
They are adaptable, more willing to pivot and change course when facing unexpected challenges. They haven’t yet become set in their ways or entrenched in established routines, allowing them to embrace change with a sense of excitement rather than fear. They view setbacks not as roadblocks, but as opportunities for growth and learning.
Young entrepreneurs understand the value of learning by doing. They’re not afraid to dive into the nitty-gritty of running a business, knowing that experience is the best teacher.
Will any of it be easy? No.
Will she have moments of self-doubt, and fear of failing? Yes.
Will she overcome the wall of worry and doubt, plus all the challenges associated with owning and running a successful business? Maybe, but I know she has what it takes to make it successful.
Would I open a coffee house at this point in my life? Nope.
But I love that she’s pursuing her dream. I love that her parents are there to help. I can already see that they’re being supportive, but also letting her drive the process, take the risks, and make the decisions.
If she were to ask for my advice, I’d tell her to consider the following (in no particular order):
Create or join a network of trusted allies and service providers. Join the local Chamber of Commerce, a BNI chapter, or a group that has other business owners as members. You’ll get to meet other entrepreneurs, compare notes with them, and many of them will provide services and expertise that you can use.
Focus on the customer’s experience in everything you do. Advocate for your customers and they will advocate for you.
Start your marketing and awareness campaign long before the day you open your business. While you’re remodeling the interior or your space, take the time to remodel and brand the exterior. Put up “coming soon” signs. Try to generate as much anticipation in your surrounding neighborhood as possible…again, long before opening day.
If possible, ensure that your business has at least 3 months (or more) of operating capital in the bank at any time. The more, the better. You never know when something unexpected might happen…a big expense or capital investment opportunity, or maybe a cyclical downturn in your business.
Remember that leaders always eat last. This means you’ll probably have some lean times, financially. Keeping your business healthy and paying your employees must come first. It’s quite possible that you won’t be pulling anything that looks like a paycheck from your business for 6-12 months. Prepare for this and realize it’s completely normal.
As you hire employees, whether they’re part-time or full-time, make sure they know your values, why your coffee house is special, why they are fortunate to be part of your team and that you feel blessed and fortunate to have them on your team.
Advocate for your employees, but don’t be afraid to quickly let go of employees who aren’t embracing your company culture. You need to employ believers in your mission…anything less is unacceptable. I don’t remember who said it but hire slowly and fire fast. Both are extremely difficult to do in practice but will pay off with amazing results if you’re able to do it.
p/c – Nathan Lemon – Unsplash
Want to see what happens next with Belle’s coffee house?
“We must strive to exit our tomb of pessimism.” I heard this phrase echo through the Cathedral during the Easter Vigil homily, a little over a week ago.
As Catholics, we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ every Easter…His triumphant exit from the tomb, three days after his crucifixion.
In a much smaller way, we have a daily invitation to cast off our heavy shroud of negativity. To exit our tomb of pessimism.
To break the shackles of hopelessness and redirect our thoughts toward a brighter horizon.
If everything great begins with a thought or an idea, imagine channeling this power toward an optimistic future, filled with amazing possibilities.
It’s easy to stay in this tomb of our own making, looking through the bars at all the people out there who are clearly happier, more successful, and have all the things we yearn for.
The truth is none of them matter. They have no impact on us…except to show us some possibilities, some ideas, and some pathways that worked for them.
We have the power to rewrite our own narrative, to pivot our lives toward a more hopeful outlook. The choice is ours alone.
Escaping the tomb of pessimism demands courage and resolve. It requires us to confront our deepest fears and insecurities, to challenge the status quo of negativity that has held us captive and kept us comforted for so long.
Yet, it is only by confronting these challenges that we can find the promise of transformation. Only through the struggle that we can discover a new sense of purpose.
Will you remain ensnared in the confines of pessimism, or will you seize the opportunity to step into the light, and walk away from your tomb of pessimism?
Fear is like that well-meaning friend who occasionally oversteps boundaries. It’s a survival instinct, a leftover trait from our ancestors who needed it to avoid becoming someone else’s lunch. It can guide us toward wise choices and help us steer clear of danger.
Our imagination, on the other hand, is a bit of a storyteller, especially when it comes to tales that can hold us back. With all our experiences and secrets tucked away in our minds, our imagination can whip up some remarkably dreadful future scenarios. And our lizard brains? They thrive on responding to fear.
Fear is undoubtedly real. The fear of failure, loss, embarrassment, injury, loneliness, helplessness, and death can have profound impacts on our thoughts and actions. However, if we recognize, understand, and confront these fears head-on, it will be like flicking on the lights in a dark room – suddenly, the monsters lose their scariness.
By acknowledging that fear is a living part of us, we can take steps toward asserting our control over it. Fear shouldn’t be in the driver’s seat.
“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” – Psalm 23
We aren’t alone in this journey of conquering fear. We have a loving God, supportive family, and caring friends to help us face our fears. They can offer a broader perspective and lend a hand when we need it most.
Life is a rollercoaster of unknowns, and fear hates rollercoasters. Instead of fearing the unknown, befriend it. New ideas, experiences, and relationships? Embrace them as opportunities, be curious, and let the adventure unfold.
Life is rarely easy, and sometimes truly terrible things happen to us. But, fear should be the backseat driver, not our navigator.
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And, when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
–Paul Atreides in the novel Dune, by Frank Herbert
Photo: Why hot air balloons? Well, taking a ride in a hot air balloon would not be possible if we let fear make the decision. I’m happy to report the balloon ride was amazing!
I have one favor to ask: If you find this information useful, please forward and recommend it to someone else. Thanks!
True renewal is a deliberate act of self-reclamation…
p/c: a recent sunset at our little homestead
Prayer to Saint Joseph the Worker
O Glorious Saint Joseph, model of all those who are devoted to labor,
obtain for me the grace to work in a spirit of penance for the expiation of my many sins;
to work conscientiously, putting the call of duty above my natural inclinations;
to work with thankfulness and joy, considering it an honor to employ and develop by means of labor the gifts received from God;
to work with order, peace, moderation, and patience, never shrinking from weariness and trials;
to work above all with purity of intention and detachment from self, keeping unceasingly before my eyes death and the account that I must give of time lost, talents unused, good omitted, and vain complacency in success, so fatal to the work of God.
All for Jesus, all through Mary, all after thy example, O Patriarch, Saint Joseph. Such shall be my watch-word in life and in death. Amen. – Pope St. Pius X
In life’s journey, we may find ourselves off course or losing track of our original path. We may even fail ourselves or those we love. It is in these moments that we are being called to profound self-discovery and renewal.
Renewal is not a passive occurrence. As the prayer to Saint Joseph states, it requires us “to work conscientiously, putting the call of duty above [our] natural inclinations.” True renewal is a deliberate act of self-reclamation. We have a duty to ourselves and those we love to put in the work that leads to our self-transformation.
It isn’t easy (nothing worthwhile ever is). It involves adapting, finding new ways, and being intentional about embracing change.
When we realize that ours is always a season of renewal, that we can “work in a spirit of penance for the expiation of [our] many sins,” then we will be able “to work with order, peace, moderation, and patience, never shrinking from [the] weariness and trials” of our self-improvement.
May the spirit of renewal be our guide, not diverting us from our journey but enhancing it. May we find the resilience within us to adapt, renew, and move forward with a fresh sense of purpose and determination.
I remember thinking how simple it all sounded, and I was relieved to know I had a model to follow. What I didn’t know at the time is that this simple model is anything but simple…
Denial.
Anger.
Withdrawal.
Acceptance.
I first learned about these stages of grief when Grandma Anne died (over 30 years ago). My cousin, who was a newly minted police officer at the time, described how he received training on this model in the police academy.
I remember thinking how simple it all sounded, and I was relieved to know I had a model to follow. What I didn’t know at the time is that this simple model is anything but simple.
Models provide a basis for understanding a concept or an idea…and that’s helpful. Models make the complex seem simple. But models rarely capture the layers of detail or the often-gut-wrenching processes they describe.
Today, the DAWA model is a bit outdated. Additional “stages” have been added over the years to the original model. Stages like shock, bargaining, depression, and testing are layered into discussions of the grieving process nowadays.
How does all of this relate to the Coronavirus?
Thanks to Coronavirus, we are suddenly sharing a grief experience with every person on the planet, at the same time. Every single one of us has lost something extremely important because of Coronavirus.
The normal that we knew, the normal that we understood, the normal that we took for granted…died over the last 30-60 days. If you could ask all 6 billion-plus people on Earth when, exactly, normal died, their answers would vary by a few days or few weeks. But nobody would deny that their normal is gone.
When we grieve or face a major crisis in our lives, we come together with others, we gather closer to the people we love, we comfort each other with hugs and shared laughter. We cry together. We cook together. We share meals. We share stories about what we’ve lost. We might go to an inspirational concert and hold hands while we sway and sing along with tears streaming down our faces.
We love to be with people, even if we describe ourselves as introverts or “not a people person.”
Unfortunately, that part of normal has also died (at least for a while).
While it doesn’t look like it (because our beloved normal is gone), we are all grieving. Every one of us.
Make no mistake about it. Something we loved, something we treasure, and something we counted on has died. We are grieving our loss, even as events unfold in front of us that may make things worse before they get better.
We probably don’t think we have time right now to grieve. But, we’re each somewhere on the DAWA continuum of denial, anger, withdrawal, or acceptance. In fact, we’re bouncing around on that continuum today.
We’ve lost our normal, and we’re being forced to live in a new normal. This new normal will probably give way to yet another new normal a few months from now. None of us know what any of this will look like. That mystery is an unfortunate part of our new normal (as crazy as it may sound).
It’s normal to be in denial. It’s normal to be angry. It’s normal to withdraw or try to escape. It’s also normal, and necessary, to find acceptance.
Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up. It means that the energy we’ve been using to fight the new normal can be channeled toward making the best of what’s in front of us.
Sure, we all miss our beloved normal from the past. We’d prefer to have our old normal back in our lives. But we must find a way to accept, to allow ourselves to rest, and let go of our longing.
The good news is that we’ve each had normal die before. We’ve had to adjust to new normals throughout our life and we’re generally pretty good at it:
Moving from one school to another and making new friends
Graduating high school or college
Starting our first “real” job
Leaving our first job
Starting our second job
Meeting the person of our dreams that we plan to spend the rest of our life with
Divorcing that person
Experiencing the death of a loved one
Becoming a parent (or a grandparent)
Starting your own business
Selling that business
Losing a house and everything we own in a fire
The knee injury that forced you to stop playing your favorite game
Having your house destroyed in a tornado
These are all examples of events in our lives that require us to let go of the old normal and embrace the new normal. Sometimes the new normal is because of something amazingly good, and other times it’s caused by something amazingly bad.
I’m not sure I’ve reached the acceptance stage in my own grieving process. I tell myself that I’m there, but I know it’s not always true. As I work through the process and prepare myself for what lies ahead, I like to keep this list of ideas in mind:
Take things one day at a time
Prayer is your instant connection to someone who loves you completely
Celebrate your victories, no matter how small
Give yourself a break
Be grateful and enjoy what you have
Forgive yourself for not knowing exactly what to do (none of us know, which is true a lot more than we’d like to admit)
Only allow yourself to worry about the future for a few minutes each day and move on. I’d say to stop worrying completely since worrying is a non-productive use of energy, but I know it’s not possible to eliminate it completely.
Check-in once each day for the news on Coronavirus, and what the latest government directions are (social distancing, masks or no masks, etc.). By now, you know the symptoms, what you’re supposed to be doing to prevent the spread, and what you’re supposed to do if you or someone close to you become symptomatic. The rest is probably not super useful, and you can catch-up on all of it during your once-a-day check in.
Be kind to others. Your kindness will go a long way and may lead to more kindness in your “downstream.” Even a smile to a stranger letting them know we’re all in this together is helpful. By the way, your eyes show your smile, even if your mask doesn’t.
Realize that you are grieving, and so is everyone else. We will each have good days and bad days in our grief journey.
Take time to gather with your friends and family members by phone, video conference, or even a nice email note. These are your people. Embrace them remotely.
We are living through future history. The events happening around us and to us today will be discussed, debated, and written about for decades to come. Our lives are forever changed, and the changes are continuing to unfold.
We can use our energy to reach back to the past with all that we have, searching for the normal that’s gone.
Or, we can channel our energy to reach toward the future, creating the best possible new normal for ourselves and our loved ones.
While I grieve for the past, I choose to reach for the future.
Sadness can find us with little or no effort…sometimes on a daily basis.
I see trees of green, red roses too. I see them bloom, for me and you. And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.
Sadness, defined as anything that’s the opposite of joy:
Emotional pain
Feelings of disadvantage
Loss
Despair
Grief
Anger
Helplessness
Disappointment
Sorrow
Frustration
Guilt
I see skies of blue,
And clouds of white.
The bright blessed day,
The dark sacred night.
And I think to myself,
What a wonderful world
Oddly, we sometimes seek out sadness for our own purposes. Maybe we need an excuse for not being the person we know we can be. Maybe we find comfort in burdening others with our pain.
The colors of the rainbow,
So pretty in the sky.
Are also on the faces,
Of people going by,
I see friends shaking hands.
Saying, “How do you do?”
They’re really saying,
“I love you”.
When sadness in its many forms pays a visit, we have two fundamental questions to ask ourselves:
What will we allow inside?
How long will we allow it to stay?
It’s easy to say that we get to decide. That doesn’t mean it’s easy to kick sadness out once it arrives for a visit.
I hear babies cry,
I watch them grow,
They’ll learn much more,
Than I’ll ever know.
What to do? Here’s a list that I have to remind myself of from time to time:
Tune your mind to find joy in the simple things
Seek out and cherish love in your life
Offer forgiveness to yourself and others
Share your time and attention with others
Seek opportunities to serve others first
Observe life with a sense of awe and gratitude.
Joy won’t find us the way sadness can. Joy only shows itself when we take action to greet it warmly with open arms and outstretched hands.
The easiest approach is to prematurely judge, declare failure and decide who to blame…
Should a new home construction project be judged when only its blueprint exists? How about when the site has been prepared? What about when the materials like wood, rebar, and electrical conduit are delivered?
Should we wait to judge the home build until the framing is complete? Should we wait until the walls and roof are added? Or, wait until all the windows are installed? What about the paint and other finishing touches on the house? Should you wait for those to be completed?
Can you judge the success of the home build before it’s finished?
When making chocolate chip cookies, do you judge the success of the cookies while mixing the ingredients? How about when the chocolate chips are poured into the batter?
What if the recipe called for real butter, but you only have that non-diary butter substitute that’s supposed to be healthier than butter? Are your cookies doomed at that point? Should you call-off the project and declare it a failure?
Assuming you’ve made it past the butter/non-dairy butter issue, is it right to judge the cookies after they’re spooned out onto the cookie sheet, but not yet baked?
Just before placing those filled cookie sheets into the preheated oven, is that the time to re-evaluate the entire cookie-making process to determine if it’s failing? Should you call a meeting to discuss whether the cooking temperature listed in the recipe is the correct one for your cookies?
Houses and cookies are obvious examples of “projects” that have a lot of moving parts. They build from a set of raw ingredients, mixed with time and effort, into a completed item.
What about less obvious events in our lives? When’s the right time to judge these for success or failure (using whatever measures you’ve chosen)?
new job
new business
new business strategy
new information system
new software development project
new friends
new marriage
new workout regimen
new hobby
new home
The easiest approach is to prematurely judge, declare failure and decide who to blame. Failure is comforting. The status quo is easy.
The new thing is never easy. Creating something new is almost always uncomfortable.
When we judge too early, failure soon follows.
By the way, the cookies were amazing, but not until they came out of the oven.
“If you get your ego in your way, you will only look to other people and circumstances to blame.” –Jocko Willink
Here’s a thought experiment…
Looking back over the past few weeks (or months, or years), how many times did you blame:
someone
some thing
traffic
an injury
a disability
the weather
the economy
the government
your boss
your employee
social media
a company
a bad memory
anything but yourself?
No matter the subject, there are plenty of candidates for our blame…as long as we can aim it outward.
Our ego prefers blaming “the other” rather than accepting responsibility. Life’s easier that way.
Blame doesn’t just apply to things that happened in the past. Blame is most powerful (and crippling) when it prevents something from happening in the future:
I won’t be able to make it out there tomorrow. The traffic is just too crazy at that time.
I hate this job, but I don’t have time to learn a new trade.
I’d love to help you move, but with my bad back, I wouldn’t be very helpful.
There’s no way I’d ever start my own business in this economy. Besides, who needs all the government regulations and hassle?
It’s way too cold out there to go for a walk today.
I’d love to travel more, but there’s no way my boss would ever give me the time off.
How many times have you used blame to avoid doing something new, or something that could fail?
Blame is useful when it establishes a foundation for improvement. When it represents a first step toward identifying root causes that can be solved.
Beyond that, blame has very little value, except stroking our ego (and keeping us nice and warm in our cacoon of status quo).
Grandpa Bob Encouraging Leadership 
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