Tag: Life

What is your favorite quote?

I’m working on an autobiography of sorts.  It’s a compilation of my answers to a series of questions.  There are about 75 of them that act as prompts.  Here are some examples: 

  • Tell me about your childhood home.
  • What were your school days like?
  • What was your favorite fashion trend when you were a kid?
  • How did you meet your spouse?

The idea is that my kids and grandkids and anyone else who’s interested can learn more about my life as they read through my answers to these questions.  It’s been a fun project that I’ve been working on over the past 3-4 months. 

I just finished answering this question and thought I’d share my answer here:   

Can you share a favorite quote or saying of yours?

Life is a journey, not a destination. 

I’m not sure who said this first.  It’s something I said for years before learning that it was a famous quote from someone else.  Turns out there are posters and artwork that you can buy that highlight this quote.  Maybe I saw the quote decades ago and it lived in my subconscious mind until later in life. 

I don’t have anything against goal setting or visualizing a future and going after it.  But it’s important to avoid having tunnel vision in your pursuit of goal achievement since you may miss other opportunities and experiences that introduce themselves along the way. 

I’m reminded of a drawing of a stickperson on a ladder.  They are locked in on their goal: reaching the top of that ladder before anyone else.  This person even jumps over someone and kicks another person off the ladder in their effort to reach the top first.  When this person finally reaches the top, they find that the ladder doesn’t actually lead anywhere.  Their ladder is standing in the air and not leaning against anything.  

The lesson is to make sure the ladder you’re climbing is going somewhere you really want to go.   

When you reach your goal, no matter how lofty and difficult it was to achieve, you are merely at a new starting point or more accurately, you’ve made it to one of an infinite number of stops in your life-long journey.

The real goal should be to maximize your enjoyment of the journey itself.  To appreciate the small things that happen, the surprises, the diversions, the successes and the failures, the people you meet, and the places you get to experience along the way.

Life is that thing that happens while you’re busy making other plans.

This one is closely related to the first quote.  Life is a series of “nows” that are happening in real-time.  You can make plans, point yourself in a particular direction, and even tell yourself that you’re in control of all the things that are happening in your life (spoiler alert – you’re not in control of all the things, you only control your response to all the things).

The time to start something new or something that will improve your life is always six months ago.  While you’re busy talking about your future, it’s already happening.  That thing you’re thinking about doing today but procrastinating while you do more planning will become that thing you should have done six months ago. 

Plans are valuable, and you should have a broad plan with some key pillars that you can stand on throughout your life.  It’s equally important to avoid hiding behind the planning phases of your life and forgetting to live your life purposely.  It turns out that life’s happening anyway, so you might as well live it proactively and not reactively.    

These are the good times. 

The shortened version of this among friends is, “Good times.”  Meaning these are the good times we’ll look back on fondly when we get older.  No matter how screwed up something is, or how hard the thing you’re doing right now is, or how much you just failed… all of it will be lumped into your mind and memory as “good times” from your past. 

In fact, some of your worst life experiences or life failures might even become the fondest memories you share in the future.  You might reflect on how great something was, or how it was good that you had that failure or that heartbreak so you could apply what you learned later in life.    

It’s unfortunate that we usually don’t realize this when these things are happening to us in the present. 

Finding Laughter Amid the Chaos

Life can often feel like a series of unpredictable events coming at you without end.  In this whirlwind, maintaining a sense of humor helps make sense of it all. Humor helps us see challenges not as obstacles, but as opportunities to grow and understand.

Make the Absurd your Friend

Consider this: you’re in the middle of a presentation when your computer suddenly decides to restart for updates. Everyone in the room is waiting, and you’re left standing there. In that moment, you have a choice. You can panic, or you can laugh and say, “Well, I guess my computer decided the razzle-dazzle portion of this presentation is over.” Embracing the absurdity of the situation lightens the mood for everyone involved and shows that you can think on your feet.

Imagine you’re about to start a remote interview.  You take that last sip of coffee and spill some on your shirt.  You realize this nice brown spot is visible on the screen just as the person interviewing you joins the meeting.  It’s easy to let this ruin your day.  Instead, you can chuckle and say, “Nothing like spilling coffee on yourself to make a great first impression!” This acknowledges the problem and humanizes the situation.  Plus, you’ll have a great story to tell later. 

Adding humor to our lives makes us more resilient and improves our attitude. Not taking life too seriously is crucial. Our worries and anxieties are often fleeting. Finding humor in our daily routines, like laughing off an unexpected reboot, shifts our focus from what’s going wrong to what’s funny, fostering a more positive outlook.

Laughter’s Power

Think about a time you were stuck in traffic with friends, running late for an event. Instead of stewing in frustration, someone starts making jokes about the situation, and soon everyone is laughing. The shared humor transforms a stressful experience into a memorable one, strengthening the bonds among your friends.

Laughter connects us to others, breaks down barriers and builds a sense of community. When we share a laugh with someone, we create a bond that transcends differences and fosters empathy. In a world that often feels divided, shared humor can unify. Moments of shared joy are essential to our well-being, reminding us that we are not alone in our experiences.

Life’s unpredictability can be daunting, but it’s definitely a source of great humor if we’re looking for it.  By adopting a mindset that finds humor in the unexpected twists and turns of life, we learn to appreciate the randomness of our experiences. Next time something unexpected happens, imagine it as a scene from a sitcom, with you as the lovable main character.

Find humor in the little things. Accept the absurdity, laugh at the unexpected, and share a joke with those around you. Maintaining a sense of humor is not just about finding joy—it’s about making sense of a life that doesn’t always make sense.

As Jerry Seinfeld puts it, “If you can find humor in anything, you can survive it.”

p/c – Frank McKenna – Unsplash.com

Exiting the Tomb of Pessimism

“We must strive to exit our tomb of pessimism.”  I heard this phrase echo through the Cathedral during the Easter Vigil homily, a little over a week ago. 

As Catholics, we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ every Easter…His triumphant exit from the tomb, three days after his crucifixion.

In a much smaller way, we have a daily invitation to cast off our heavy shroud of negativity.  To exit our tomb of pessimism. 

To break the shackles of hopelessness and redirect our thoughts toward a brighter horizon.    

If everything great begins with a thought or an idea, imagine channeling this power toward an optimistic future, filled with amazing possibilities. 

It’s easy to stay in this tomb of our own making, looking through the bars at all the people out there who are clearly happier, more successful, and have all the things we yearn for.    

The truth is none of them matter.  They have no impact on us…except to show us some possibilities, some ideas, and some pathways that worked for them.    

We have the power to rewrite our own narrative, to pivot our lives toward a more hopeful outlook.  The choice is ours alone. 

Escaping the tomb of pessimism demands courage and resolve. It requires us to confront our deepest fears and insecurities, to challenge the status quo of negativity that has held us captive and kept us comforted for so long.

Yet, it is only by confronting these challenges that we can find the promise of transformation.  Only through the struggle that we can discover a new sense of purpose.

Will you remain ensnared in the confines of pessimism, or will you seize the opportunity to step into the light, and walk away from your tomb of pessimism?    

The choice is yours.

Choose wisely.

p/c – Jelle de Gier – Unsplash

Navigating Fear…A Personal Guide to Freedom and Growth

Fear is like that well-meaning friend who occasionally oversteps boundaries. It’s a survival instinct, a leftover trait from our ancestors who needed it to avoid becoming someone else’s lunch. It can guide us toward wise choices and help us steer clear of danger.

Our imagination, on the other hand, is a bit of a storyteller, especially when it comes to tales that can hold us back. With all our experiences and secrets tucked away in our minds, our imagination can whip up some remarkably dreadful future scenarios. And our lizard brains? They thrive on responding to fear.

Fear is undoubtedly real. The fear of failure, loss, embarrassment, injury, loneliness, helplessness, and death can have profound impacts on our thoughts and actions. However, if we recognize, understand, and confront these fears head-on, it will be like flicking on the lights in a dark room – suddenly, the monsters lose their scariness.

By acknowledging that fear is a living part of us, we can take steps toward asserting our control over it. Fear shouldn’t be in the driver’s seat. 

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” – Psalm 23

We aren’t alone in this journey of conquering fear. We have a loving God, supportive family, and caring friends to help us face our fears. They can offer a broader perspective and lend a hand when we need it most.

Life is a rollercoaster of unknowns, and fear hates rollercoasters. Instead of fearing the unknown, befriend it. New ideas, experiences, and relationships? Embrace them as opportunities, be curious, and let the adventure unfold.

Life is rarely easy, and sometimes truly terrible things happen to us. But, fear should be the backseat driver, not our navigator.

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer.

Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

And, when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”

–Paul Atreides in the novel Dune, by Frank Herbert

Photo: Why hot air balloons? Well, taking a ride in a hot air balloon would not be possible if we let fear make the decision. I’m happy to report the balloon ride was amazing!

I have one favor to ask:  If you find this information useful, please forward and recommend it to someone else.  Thanks! 

Life is…

Life is a celebration…

As we end one year and prepare to begin another, it’s a great time to reflect.

What have I completed, and what will I begin?

How did I fail, and how will I succeed?

Who did I help, and who will I help?

What is my true mission?

I found this great reminder (as I often do) in a quote from Mother Teresa:

“Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.

Life is beauty, admire it.

Life is a dream, realize it.

Life is a challenge, meet it.

Life is a duty, complete it.

Life is a game, play it.

Life is a promise, fulfill it.

Life is sorrow, overcome it.

Life is a song, sing it.

Life is a struggle, accept it.

Life is a tragedy, confront it.

Life is an adventure, dare it.

Life is luck, make it.

Life is too precious, do not destroy it.

Life is life, fight for it.”

 To this list, I’d add:

Life is a journey, explore it.

Life is failure, learn from it.

Life is service, give it.

Life is a gift, share it.

Life is a celebration, enjoy it!

© 2014 Bob Dailey.  All rights reserved.

The Candy Store

Imagine you’re a candy lover…

Imagine you’re a candy lover.  You like all types of candy.  Actually, that’s not so hard to imagine for most of us.

Imagine you’re placed inside a candy store.  Every type of candy is there.  All of your favorites, and some that you’ve always wanted to try, are right there for you.  New flavors arrive all the time.

You get to have as much candy as you want.  No worries about calories, sugar content, cavities, or the inevitable sugar crash.  Just great candy, and it’s all yours.

Two rules:

  • you only get thirty minutes
  • you can’t take any of the candy with you

I’ve come to view life as that candy store…especially since I’ve been in here for at least fifteen of my minutes.

Here are seven things I’ve learned about the candy store, so far:

  1. It’s important to get the lay of the land before grabbing handfuls of candy.
  2. The best flavors are the most subtle, and often take time to enjoy.
  3. Some candy flavors mix well, others, not so much.
  4. I’ll never be able to taste all of the candy in the store, and that’s okay.
  5. There are just about as many sour candies as there are sweet.  The sour ones help me appreciate the sweet flavors even more.
  6. Most of the candy melts in your hand if you hold on to it for too long.
  7. The best candy, whether sweet or sour, is the candy that you share with those you love.

The Bargains We Make

I bargained with Life for a penny…

I came across this classic poem recently:

My Wage

I bargained with Life for a penny,

And Life would pay no more,

However I begged at evening

When I counted my scanty store.

For Life is a just employer,

He gives you what you ask.

But once you have set the wages,

Why, you must bear the task.

I worked for a menial’s hire,

Only to learn dismayed,

That any wage I had asked of Life,

Life would have willingly paid.

–by Jessie Belle Rittenhouse (1869-1948)

My Question for You

What is your bargain with Life?

Are you working for a penny, or something more?

How about your end of the deal?

Are you even keeping score?

If we get out of Life,

Only what we ask,

I say go for the Moon,

And reach for the stars.

But, are you willing to bear the task?

Your Ten Best Days

What if you could choose the ten best days in your life and relive them as many times as you want?  You only get to choose ten.

How would you go about choosing your ten best? Here are some possibilities to kick-start your thought process (in no particular order):

  • The day you learned to ride a bike
  • The day you lost your first tooth
  • The day you hit your first homerun
  • The day you got your driver’s license
  • The day you graduated from high school
  • The day you graduated from college
  • The day you received your first paycheck
  • The day you bought your first car (which might have been the day after you got your first paycheck)
  • Your wedding day
  • The day you finished your first marathon
  • The days your children were born
  • The day you became the boss
  • The day your trained someone else to be the boss
  • The days your children graduated from high school…how about college?
  • The days your children were married
  • Your first visit to the Grand Canyon
  • The day you went to the top of the Eiffel Tower
  • The day you and your family swam with dolphins
  • The day the doctor told you that you were cancer free
  • The day you watched your grandson being born (a definite front runner for me)
  • The days you visited your children’s first homes
  • That super hot day when you and your kids went to the Angel game and tried to keep cool with spray bottles
  • The day you zip-lined through a rainforest
  • The day you retired
  • The day you first had a Tommy’s Burger
  • The day you helped a complete stranger

The possibilities are infinite, and everyone’s list is different.  Have you chosen your ten best days yet?  What pictures flash in your mind as you try to decide?

Here’s some good news:  you don’t have to choose just ten.  And, you get to relive your best days any time you’d like.  All you have to do is picture them in your mind, like you just did.

Here’s one more piece of good news:  many of your best days are still in front of you, yet to be enjoyed.

A Spoon’s Perspective

You never know what you’ll find in my blog.  The first time I wrote for the fun of it (which is really what it’s all about), I looked up a website filled with writing prompts.  Just my luck, I randomly picked the prompt below:

Prompt:  Write a short story from the point of view of a spoon in a dishwasher

Here I stand, as always, in this dark place.  Sometimes I get to see the light, but I always seem to find my way back here.  It’s a bit crowded…what is it with this fork and knife?  Why must they always lean on me?

It wasn’t always like this.  I remember quite some time ago, long before arriving here, I used to lay under the lights.  I didn’t get to do much, but it was nice to be appreciated by so many people as they walked by.  Sometimes they would lift me up and turn me from side to side.  I can’t explain their compulsion to lift me from my comfort, but after a little bit of time, I’d always find myself back on the table just as I had been.

Then came the day when everything changed.  I was wrapped up in tissue paper and placed in a box with a whole bunch of other spoons, forks, and knives.  We were in there for quite some time.  I admit that I lost track of time in there.

Just when I had given up hope of ever seeing light again, the box opened and light shined in.  It was incredibly bright and it took me a few minutes to adjust.  A happy couple with a stack of other boxes sat, admiring all of us on their kitchen table.  They didn’t seem to have much furniture.  I remember seeing two lawn chairs in their living room.

And thus, my new life began…work in the morning, lay in the sink throughout the day, and then into this dark place for the night.

The water is coming in now!  I can feel the steam rising from below.  The jets will turn on soon and I won’t be able to think.  The hot water will crash into me with incredible force.  This infernal fork and knife leaning on me is sure getting old.  It is amazing that so much water can be unleashed on us all at once.  Here it comes!

Ahh…finally the first cycle is over.  The water is draining out.  There is always one more cycle.  I don’t understand why, but I feel so clean after the second cycle.  More water!  Hang on!

Another cycle complete, and this is my favorite part.  The orange glow is getting brighter.  The heat is rising.  Any soreness I have is melted away with the heat.  It is very dry.  My nose burns with each breath.  Gosh, it’s hot!  When will this end?  I remember watching a plastic bowl melt in this heat.  He was never the same after that fateful day.  In fact, I never saw him on the bottom rack after that.  I occasionally catch a glimpse of him in the upper rack.  So sad to see him disfigured that way.

I can feel the heat subsiding.  The orange is fading to black.  That should do it.  All I can do is wait until morning and re-emerge for another day.  I wonder if I’ll ever get to lay under the lights again…at least I can dream.