Tag: personal-growth

What I’d Tell a 21-Year-Old Now

My niece is turning 21 in a couple of weeks. That milestone prompted me to go back and read a post I wrote in 2013 called Advice for a New 21-Year-Old.

Reading it now, I still stand behind it. But a lot has changed in the world and in me since then. A 21-year-old stepping into adulthood today faces a different landscape than the one I was writing about then. After more than a decade of watching young people navigate it, I think an update is in order.

Back in 2013, I intentionally opened with drinking and gambling. Those are two of the classic threshold items attached to turning 21. Things the world suddenly says you’re allowed to do.

Turning 21 feels significant in part because it comes with new freedoms. New access. New choices. New opportunities to say yes to things that used to be off limits.

But if I were to distill what I want to say today, it’s this:

The most important part of turning 21 isn’t what you’re allowed to do. It’s what you’re responsible for doing with your new freedom.

On Drinking

Back in 2013, I wrote specifically about types of alcohol, mixing drinks, drinking water between drinks, and a few other practical things. The tips were fun, and I meant them. But what I was really trying to say was simpler.

Don’t let alcohol become the thing that teaches you who you are.

A 21-year-old can easily mistake access for maturity. Being allowed to drink is one thing. Knowing how to carry yourself is another.

If you choose to drink, stay in charge of yourself. Stay aware. Stay responsible. Don’t confuse recklessness with fun, or excess with adulthood.

There’s nothing impressive about losing control, hurting people, damaging your future, or building habits that begin as entertainment and slowly become dependence.

Freedom says you can. Wisdom says you don’t always have to.

On Gambling

Gambling is worth talking about, less for the casino tips and more for what it teaches us about life.

A lot of life will tempt you into thinking you can outsmart systems that were built to profit from your confidence. Sometimes that system is a casino. Sometimes it’s consumer debt. Sometimes it’s a flashy investment story. Sometimes it’s just your own belief that you’re the exception to every warning sign.

Understand the odds. Understand the incentives. Understand that some games were built for you to lose slowly enough that you keep playing.

That lesson applies far beyond cards, dice, and slot machines.

On Money

At 21, your income may still be modest. Your savings may be thin. But your financial decisions aren’t any less meaningful.

This is the age when you should begin learning how money actually works.

Learn how to live below your means. Save at least 10% of your income, always. Learn how savings accumulate and compound over time. Einstein called compound interest the most powerful force in the universe, and he was right.

Learn how debt can easily grow if you allow it. Learn how investing works. Learn what markets do over time. Learn what risk is and what it isn’t. Learn how compounding works for you, or against you.

Don’t hand the whole subject over to experts and decide this isn’t for you.

It is for you.

Nobody can make this investment in your understanding except you. It’ll take effort, time, and discipline, but the payoff will be enormous. The earlier you begin, the more options you give yourself later.

On Taxes

This is one area I would add much more explicitly today.

Taxes shape your paycheck, your investments, your business decisions, your home decisions, and your retirement decisions. They are one of the most powerful forces shaping the economy around you. Most people your age treat taxes like background noise. They are anything but background noise.

Learn how federal income taxes work. Learn how your state handles taxes, including property taxes. Learn the basic tax forms. Learn what withholding is. Learn the difference between deductions and credits (it’s a big one). Learn how capital gains differ from ordinary income.

Most importantly, learn how and why governments shift tax policy. You’ll find that it’s often less about revenue generation and more about encouraging or discouraging certain behaviors. When you understand this, the debates about tax policy start making a lot more sense.

You don’t need to become a tax attorney. But you do need to stop treating taxes as some mysterious thing that happens in the background while adults in suits handle it for you.

The sooner you understand taxes, the less often you’ll be surprised by them.

On AI and Paying Attention to the Future

This didn’t belong in the 2013 version the way it does now.

If I were talking to a new 21-year-old today, I’d tell them to learn how to use AI well.

Not as a crutch. Not as a substitute for thinking. Not as some fantasy weapon that will let you dominate the world.

Use it as a tool.

Use it to expand your access to knowledge. Use it to test ideas. Use it to get a rough draft or minimum viable product moving. Learn what a minimum viable product is and why it matters so much to growth.

Use it to make an idea more tangible. Use it to model possibilities. Use it to iterate faster. Use it to tighten your thinking by forcing your vague idea into something clearer and more real.

An idea in your head can feel pretty smart. The moment you try to express it, structure it, test it, or build it into something visible, you’ll begin to see its strengths and weaknesses. AI can help accelerate your thinking process.

A lot of people are afraid that AI will eliminate jobs, upend industries, and leave ordinary people behind. That fear is understandable. But the larger pattern is nothing new.

History is full of major technological shifts that changed the economic framework people were living in. Industrialization changed everything. Then electricity. Then assembly lines, cars, computers, the internet, and smartphones. Each wave brought creative destruction. Old methods faded, old jobs shrank, new opportunities appeared, new leaders emerged.

AI is doing the same thing now. And the people who will thrive aren’t the ones who wish the old way would come back. They’re the ones paying attention to where the world is going, and responding.

Pay attention to what’s becoming easier, faster, cheaper, more valuable, or more scalable. Pay attention to which skills are fading and which ones are growing. Then adapt. Learn. Position yourself well.

That’s a far better response than fear.

On Health

At 21, most people feel almost invincible. That feeling can fool you into thinking poor habits are free. They aren’t. They just send their bills later.

Make physical activity a normal part of your life. Build it into your routine so deeply that you miss it when it’s absent. Walk. Run. Lift. Stretch. Work outside. Stay active in ways that make your mind and body stronger, more capable, and more durable.

Healthy habits pay real dividends over time. Energy, mobility, resilience, mental clarity, confidence, longevity, and quality of life. These aren’t accidents. They grow out of a disciplined and consistent approach to taking care of yourself.

If you build a strong base now, your future self will thank you.

On Faith

A 21-year-old may or may not have ever been meaningfully exposed to faith. Some were raised around it. Some were barely around it at all. Some were exposed to a shallow version of it and walked away before they were old enough to examine it for themselves.

But by 21, your openness to faith is your responsibility.

Faith should never be reduced to pretending. You don’t need to manufacture certainty where you still have questions. But you should stay open enough to seriously consider that life is more than work, pleasure, achievement, money, and survival.

Ask the bigger questions.

Why are you here? What is good? What is true? What does it mean to live well? What does it mean to love well?

These are foundational questions. If you ignore them, you’ll still build your life on some kind of answer. You just may not realize it.

Faith has a way of changing the scale of everything. It changes how you think about suffering, success, failure, purpose, love, forgiveness, responsibility, and hope. It gives context to things that otherwise feel random, hollow, or purely material.

Stay open. Read. Ask. Listen. Seek out serious people of faith, not just loud people with opinions.

You don’t have to have everything figured out at 21. But you’re old enough to begin seeking honestly.

On Learning from Good People

Find good people and pay attention to them.

Look for people whose lives make sense up close, not just people who look impressive from far away. Find people who have built something solid. Who work hard, keep their word, love their families well, handle money responsibly, and have endured difficulty without becoming cynical.

Ask questions. Watch what they do. Learn from their patterns.

At 21, you’re old enough to choose your influences more deliberately than ever before. Choose wisely.

On Freedom

Turning 21 brings new freedom. But freedom by itself is only raw material.

What matters is what you build with it. You can use it to drift, indulge, imitate, and react. Or you can use it to build capability, health, wisdom, faith, discipline, and a life that stands up under real weight.

That’s the better use of it.

The world tends to celebrate 21 by pointing to what you can now do.

I’d rather point to what you can begin becoming. That’s where the real opportunity is.

Happy Birthday, Isabella, from your favorite uncle.

Photo by Shai Pal on Unsplash

Fear Only Needs One Example

Some of the fears running things in our lives were never ours to begin with. We watched someone lose and decided losing was the lesson. We watched someone speak up and get burned, so we got quiet. We watched someone try and then called their failure a warning. We told ourselves we were being realistic when we were just hiding safely behind their wreckage.

We rarely see the whole picture of someone else’s failure. We don’t see the blind spots, the ignored warnings, the weak foundation, the compromises nobody talked about, or the timing that was just off. We only see the ending, and then we build ourselves a new law out of it.

Something inside us says, See? That’s what happens.

No. That’s what happened.

One word. One syllable. The difference between a lesson and a life sentence.

Fear is a fast learner. It sees one example and it moves. It doesn’t wait for data. It doesn’t wait for context. It doesn’t wait for us to think.

Sometimes that’s exactly right. Some roads do end in ruin. Some boundaries are wisdom. There are dangers in life that should be taken seriously the first time, not the fifth.

But fear can collapse categories too quickly. It can treat a predator and a conversation as though they deserve the same response.

One difficult conversation becomes I’ll never bring that up again. One rejection becomes I’m done. One betrayal becomes Trust no one.

Fear stops being a warning. It becomes a tyrant. And tyrants imprison more than they protect.

Sometimes it isn’t safety we’re protecting. It’s our pride. Our delicate image. The deep terror of being seen trying and coming up short. That type of fear can sound like logic. It can sound like experience. And it can rob us quietly for years.

I’ve seen people let one example define them. One disappointment. One humiliation. One loss. One story, often somebody else’s story, lodged deep in their imagination.

But one example is a terrible god. It asks for too much. It explains too little. And it leaves too many good things untried.

Fear only needs one example.

Our wisdom must decide how much authority we give it.

Photo by Silas Baisch on Unsplash

The Second Generation Is Where It Gets Real

The first version of almost anything is an act of discovery. We’re learning in real time, usually without understanding what we’re building. We don’t yet know which parts will matter, which ones deserve less attention, or where the challenges are.

The first version is shaped by assumptions. Some accurate, others incomplete. It’s often held together by optimism and a willingness to learn as we go.

The first generation isn’t meant to be polished or permanent. Its purpose is proof of life.

Does this idea work at all?
Do we enjoy pursuing it?
Is there something here worth continuing once the novelty fades?

Many ideas never move beyond that first stage. Excitement gives way to routine. Maintenance enters the picture. It’s decision time.

Is this something I’m willing to own, or was I simply exploring an interesting possibility?

If the answer leans toward exploration alone, the idea stalls, usually forever. It never makes the leap from curiosity to commitment.

That leap matters.

William Hutchison Murray said it well, “Until one is committed, there is hesitancy…the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too.”

The second generation begins at that moment of commitment.

If we choose to begin version two, everything changes.

We’re no longer experimenting or learning if this idea works. We’re deciding that it matters enough to carry forward.

We’re operating with experience now. We’ve seen where effort was misdirected and where the momentum came from. We understand which details carry lasting value and which ones only seemed important at first.

More importantly, we own it now.

That’s why the second generation feels heavier. The weight of responsibility belongs to us. We know too much to pretend otherwise.

An idea that survives long enough to earn a second version has already passed an important test. It has encountered reality and endured.

The first generation asks whether something can exist. The second generation answers whether it should continue.

From there, our work evolves. Spontaneous ideation turns into direction. The purpose becomes clearer than the feature set. Identity begins to emerge.

This is how we do it.
This is what matters.
This is what we’re willing to stand behind.

The second generation is the foundation for everything that follows…far more than the first. It establishes patterns, standards, and expectations for what comes next.

Tackling version one takes courage. But finishing that version is only part of the journey.

The deeper test lies in beginning again. This time with clearer eyes, better judgment, and full ownership of what we’re building.

We move from discovering what we could build to owning what’s truly worth building.

Photo by Ivan Aleksic on Unsplash

If you know someone standing at the edge of a second generation, feel free to pass this along to them.

Just Show Up

As we enter 2026, it’s tempting to look for a new system, a better plan, or the perfect moment to begin.

Most of the time, the real answer is simpler.

Just show up.

The secret to progress isn’t brilliance or motivation. It isn’t certainty or confidence. It’s presence.

Show up every day.
Show up when it’s easy.
Show up when it’s uncomfortable.
Show up when you don’t know what comes next.

Show up and be present.
Show up and handle your business.
Show up and figure it out as you go.
Show up for the people you love.
Show up for the work that matters.
Show up for yourself.

When you’re unsure what to do next, don’t overthink it. Show up and take the next step. Clarity usually follows movement.

The alternative is standing down. Waiting. Drifting. Quietly giving up ground you were meant to claim.

You’re stronger than that.

Progress is rarely dramatic. It’s built through consistency. Through ordinary days stacked on top of each other. Choosing to show up when no one is watching.

The hard things happen because you showed up.
The meaningful things happen because you stayed.
The impossible things only happen when you refuse to disappear.

There’s another truth hidden in showing up.

When you show up, you give others permission to do the same. Your presence becomes proof. Your consistency becomes encouragement. People notice. They realize they can take the next step too.

So how do you crush your goals in 2026?

You don’t wait for the perfect plan.
You don’t wait to feel ready.

You show up.
You make it happen.

Because that’s what you do.
And this is how things get done.

Photo by NEOM on Unsplash

Please share this post with someone if you found it helpful. Thanks!

Decision Time

A decision sits in front of us, waiting.

We turn it over in our head. We ask a few more questions. We look for one more data point. We check with another person whose opinion we respect. We wait for the timing to feel right.

And still, we hesitate.

We tell ourselves we need more information. More time. More certainty.

Indecision usually grows from very human places. Fear of being wrong. Fear of being blamed. Fear of choosing a path that can’t be undone. Fear of embarrassment.

Add decision fatigue to the mix and postponement starts to feel reasonable.

Meanwhile, the cost of waiting accumulates quietly. Teams stall. Momentum fades. Confidence erodes. What began as a thoughtful pause turns into drift.

Most leadership decisions are made without perfect information. Progress rarely waits for certainty.

So, what is our hesitation really telling us?

Sometimes, it’s a clear no. A request pulls us away from what matters most. We don’t like what we see, but we’re not sure why. Maybe a partnership doesn’t sit right with our values. In these moments, extended thinking isn’t searching for clarity. It’s searching for a way to explain our decision.

Other times, we hesitate because the decision stretches us. It introduces uncertainty. It raises our visibility. It asks more of us than we feel ready to give. Growth decisions usually feel uncomfortable before they feel right.

At some point, the data stops improving and the waiting stops helping.

Start small. Take a step that tests the decision rather than locking it in. Forward motion reveals new information…something thinking alone can’t.

A decision that turns out to be wrong isn’t failure.

It’s feedback.

And feedback points us toward our next decision.

“Whenever you see a successful business, someone once made a courageous decision.”
— Peter F. Drucker

Photo by ChatGPT’s new image generator, which is way better than prior versions of the tool.

Always Be Coaching

In sales, there’s an old saying that has echoed through offices and training rooms for decades.

Always be closing.

It’s meant to keep the salesperson focused on their end goal. Keep the deal moving forward. Stay alert to opportunity. Maintain momentum.

Over the years, I’ve come to believe leaders need a different version of that advice.

Always be coaching.

As a leader, your mission is to develop the people who will come after you. You lift others through quiet, daily work that helps them grow. Your job is to bring out the best in yourself and in the people who will eventually step into your role. Coaching drives growth and keeps it moving forward.

Coaching your team is a way of saying, “Your future matters to me.” Coaching your children says, “I believe you have more inside you than you can see today.” And coaching yourself acknowledges the simple truth that growth must continue throughout life, especially for the leader.

Great coaches do more than explain ideas. They create space for practice. They help others turn new knowledge into muscle memory. They offer challenges sized just right for the moment. They ask questions that change how a person thinks about a problem. They reveal a new angle or a new path forward when something feels unsolvable.

Coaching takes learning to the next level. You learn something. You put it into practice. Then you pass it on. Teaching anchors the lesson. It deepens the insight. It turns wisdom into a gift you can hand to others.

Coaching doesn’t require perfect knowledge. It requires humble generosity. Share the insight you gained from yesterday’s challenge. Share the questions that helped you see an issue more clearly. Share the perspective that lifted your confidence when you needed it most.

Leadership is a relay. Someone handed the baton to you. One day you’ll hand it to someone else. The best leaders prepare the people who will run ahead long after they’ve finished their leg of the race.

Who have you coached today?
This week?
This month?

This is your responsibility. Your opportunity. Your mission.

Always be coaching.

Photo by Sylvain Mauroux on Unsplash – who are you helping to climb their next mountain?

The Pathways to a Rewarding Life

Finding Purpose at Every Age

From thirty thousand feet, the land below looks like a patchwork of roads and fields. Each marks a choice someone once made about where to go. Some stretch straight and steady. Others twist through hills or fade out of sight. Together they form a map of movement and direction, a living story of people who kept choosing the next road.

Life feels the same way. The routes change, but the invitation stays the same. Keep moving to find greater meaning.

The most rewarding paths often pass through three places. Serving others, staying curious, and daring to pursue new goals.

Service opens our heart. When we give to something beyond ourselves, our life expands. For the younger generation, it teaches them that purpose grows through generosity and connection. Helping a friend, joining a cause, or showing up for someone who needs encouragement builds an identity rooted in contribution. Later in life, service transforms experience into legacy. It turns lessons into guidance and presence into impact. Every act of service whispers that we still matter.

Curiosity keeps that whisper alive. It invites discovery and reminds us that wonder never expires. For young adults, curiosity shifts attention from comparison to possibility. It fuels creativity and builds resilience (because nobody said it would be easy). For those further down the road, curiosity revives joy. Learning something new, exploring unfamiliar tools, or asking deeper questions renews their spirit.

Big goals complete the trio. Ambition alone can fade, but big dreams shaped by purpose bring hope to life. For the young, bold goals turn uncertainty into motion. For the experienced, they rekindle the thrill of becoming. The thrill of pursuing. Every goal, whether to build, create, teach, or grow, reminds the soul that movement still matters. Hope rises with every goal we dare to pursue.

Many people never take these paths. Fear of failure, fear of embarrassment, fear of losing face…they each build fences where we can hide.  Quiet excuses convincing us to play small and call it wisdom.

Fear says, “Stay comfortable.” Curiosity says, “Let’s see what happens.”

When fear wins, both young and old lose sight of their forward motion. The young adult who fears being judged easily drifts into hopelessness. The older adult who hesitates to dream again slips into quiet surrender. The reasons sound different, yet the root feels the same. Fear has taken the wheel. Stagnation and hopelessness follow.

Purpose waits just ahead. It lives in the next act of kindness, the next mystery to be solved, the next dream still worth chasing.

The pathways to a rewarding life have no finish line. Every act of service, every curious step, every daring goal breathes new life into our soul.

When we explore these paths, joy and fulfillment will be our companion.

Photo by Line Kjær on Unsplash – I wonder what’s in the next valley.  Let’s go find out. 

100 Lessons for Playing (and Winning) the Long Game of Leadership

Ideas and wisdom often arrive with familiar roots.

My views on leadership come from my lived experiences and lessons I’ve learned from great builders and thinkers like Andrew Carnegie, Peter Drucker, Tom Peters, Ken Blanchard, Marshall Goldsmith, Zig Ziglar, Stephen Covey, Jack Welch, Seth Godin, Jeff Bezos, Gary Vaynerchuk, Tim Ferriss, Jocko Willink, James Clear, and countless others.

I’ve also worked with amazing managers and mentors over many decades, including a few who taught me what not to do.

Since I find myself often returning to these lessons, I thought it would be useful to write them down in a list for easier reference.

Leadership Foundations

1. Leadership begins in your mind long before it shows up in your actions.

2. Self-awareness is a leader’s first and most enduring responsibility. Know how your actions land, then lead on purpose.

3. Character outweighs credentials over the long haul.

4. Integrity compounds like interest. The longer you hold on to it, the more it grows.

5. Values are the compass that keep you on course when circumstances shift.

6. Humility is the strength to put others first.

7. Influence comes from trust, not job descriptions.

Vision and Direction

8. A leader’s vision must be big enough to inspire, but clear enough to act on today.

9. Clarity reduces fear. Ambiguity fuels it.

10. Momentum builds when people see the destination and believe they can reach it.

11. Vision is not just what you see. It’s what you help others see.

12. The clearer you are about the goal, the less room there is for fear to grow.

13. Purpose is the map. Storms are just temporary detours.

14. Belief in the destination turns small steps into powerful strides.

15. Every action should feel like part of the same bigger story.

16. Sometimes waiting is the boldest move you can make. Strategic patience is powerful (and extremely difficult).

People and Relationships

17. The right people in the right roles multiply results beyond what you can imagine.

18. A culture of respect will outlast a culture of urgency.

19. Listen like the person speaking might hand you the missing puzzle piece.

20. Pass the applause to others but keep the accountability close to your chest.

21. Trust is invisible, but when it’s gone, everything feels heavier.

22. Relationships need regular deposits of attention, not just withdrawals of effort.

23. Helping someone else win creates a tailwind for your own success.

Decision-Making

24. Good decisions blend facts, values, and the courage to act.

25. The first idea is often just the trailhead. Walk farther.

26. Energy without wisdom burns out. Wisdom without energy gathers dust.

27. Choose the option you can defend in the daylight and live with in the dark.

28. A quick, small decision can open doors a perfect plan never reaches.

29. It’s easier to fix a wrong turn early than to build a new road later.

30. Never cash in tomorrow’s credibility for today’s convenience.

Resilience and Adaptability

31. A setback is a classroom, not a graveyard.

32. Flexibility is a skill, not a personality trait. Practice it.

33. Change is the proving ground where talk becomes action. Priorities sharpen, assumptions get tested, and leadership shows up in decisions, owners, and dates. If nothing changes (no decision, no owner, no date) it was only talk.

34. Adapt your tactics, but never your core.

35. The best views are earned with effort you once thought impossible.

36. Challenges test your limits so you can discover you’re stronger than you ever imagined.

37. Sticking with it usually turns “almost” into “done.”

Growth and Learning

38. The best questions are the ones you don’t yet know how to answer.

39. The moment you stop learning, you stop leading. Sometimes before you notice.

40. Pride blocks the front door to growth. Curiosity leaves it wide open.

41. Ask for feedback before circumstances force it on you.

42. Teach your knowledge, always remembering that your actions teach your values.

43. Every conversation nudges someone closer to, or further from, their best self.

44. Failure carries lessons that success hides. Corollary: High water covers a lot of stumps.

Impact and Legacy

45. Success without significance is empty.

46. The influence you have on people’s lives will outlast your achievements.

47. Your legacy is written in the lives you touch, not in the titles you hold.

48. Leadership is something you borrow from the future. It must be returned in good condition.

49. The most meaningful titles are the ones people give you, not the ones on your nameplate.

50. Think in decades when deciding what to plant today.

51. Your success is multiplied when others stand taller because of you.

52. The best proof of leadership is when growth continues without your hand on the wheel.

53. Leave every place and every person better than they were when you arrived.

Communication & Culture

54. Say the quiet part kindly and clearly. Clarity without kindness bruises. Kindness without clarity confuses.

55. Stories travel farther (and faster) than memos. Stories move people. Memos inform them. Stories turn intention into action.

56. Consistency in small signals (tone, timing, follow-through) builds culture faster than slogans.

57. Meetings should create movement. Reserve live time for decisions and collaboration. End with owners and dates. If it’s just a podcast, send an email. If only two people need to talk, make it a call and give everyone else their time back.

58. Celebrate progress out loud so people know what “right” looks like.

59. Honesty scales when leaders go first. Name the hard thing and show how to address it.

60. Culture forms around what you tolerate as much as what you teach.

Execution & Accountability

61. Strategy stalls without a calendar. Put names and dates on intentions.

62. Start now. Ship one useful thing today. Ride the wave of momentum that follows.

63. Priorities aren’t what you say first. They’re what you do first.

64. When everything is urgent, nothing is important. Choose the one thing that unlocks the next three.

65. Inspect what you expect. Review, refine, and recommit in frequent loops.

66. Own the miss publicly and fix it quickly. Speed heals trust.

67. Scoreboards matter. People work smarter when progress (or lack thereof) is visible.

Faith, Purpose & Centering

68. Quiet time isn’t empty time. It’s where courage and wisdom refuel.

69. Purpose steadies the hands when the work gets heavy.

70. Gratitude turns pressure into perspective.

71. Servant leadership begins by asking, “Who needs strength from me today?”

72. Hope is a discipline. Practice it especially when results lag.

Leading Through Change & Uncertainty

73. Name the uncertainty. People handle the unknown better when it has boundaries.

74. Trade predictions for scenarios. Prepare for several futures, not just your favorite one.

75. Replan without blame. The map changes when the terrain does.

76. Communicate more than feels necessary. The vacuum of silence fills quickly with speculation.

77. Keep experiments small and reversible, so learning is fast and affordable.

78. Endurance is contagious. Your calm can be the team’s shelter in a hard storm.

Coaching & Talent Development

79. Grow people on purpose. Make development a standing agenda item.

80. Coach with questions that build judgment and ownership.

81. When you delegate the result, delegate the authority to achieve it. Authority and responsibility should be in balance.

82. Set intent and boundaries. Agree on check-ins. Then step back so the team can step up.

83. Size stretch work to the person’s readiness. Provide the right challenge, real help, and visible sponsorship. It’s okay if they reach the result by a different route than yours.

84. Build a bench before you need one. Succession begins on day one.

Supportive Organizational Behavior

85. Make it safe to disagree. Invite the view that challenges yours.

86. Credit ideas to their source. Recognition fuels contribution.

87. Write agendas as outcomes, not topics.

Systems Thinking & Process

88. Correct the mistake and improve the system that allowed it.

89. Turn recurring work into checklists and rhythms so excellence is repeatable. Then automate it.

90. Map the flow of work end to end. Prune any step that adds no value. Unblock the rest.

91. Measure what matters. Review it at a pace that improves the work.

Stakeholders & Customer Focus

92. Start with the customer and work back to today’s priorities.

93. Define success in customer outcomes, then align processes, metrics, and rewards.

94. Close the loop by telling people what changed and why.

Conflict & Courageous Conversations

95. Address tension early while the knot is small.

96. Separate the person from the problem. Aim at the issue, not the identity.

97. Put the real issue (the skunk) on the table. Agree on facts before you debate fixes.

Energy & Well-Being

98. Protect time for deep work and recovery so decisions are sharp.

99. Model healthy boundaries. Your example sets the team’s norms.

100. Choose a sustainable pace over heroic sprints. Consistency wins the long game.

Leadership is a skill to be learned and practiced over a lifetime. It grows through steady reflection, small improvements, course corrections, and new discoveries. These reminders pull us back to what matters when life and work get noisy.

Whether you lead a company, a classroom, a project, or a family, your influence reaches far beyond the moment.

The truest measure of leadership is the people we serve and the leaders they become.

Photo by Marcus Woodbridge on Unsplash – I love the idea of a lighthouse showing the way, standing firm and steady especially when the waves are their scariest.

The Thing Before the Thing IS the Thing

Somewhere along the way, I’ve noticed a quiet truth.

The thing I was working toward (the goal, the vision, the project, the finish line) always required other steps. Preparation. Research. Practice. Training. A foundation. A warm-up.

While I tried to focus on the thing I wanted to do, most of my time was spent doing all the other things that needed to happen first.

Building a deck means hauling lumber, squaring the posts, digging holes…and at least three trips to Home Depot. Writing a book means staring at blank pages, deleting paragraphs (and chapters), and researching obscure details that may never make it to print. Staying in shape means lacing up your shoes at dawn when no one else is watching. Starting a business means filling out countless forms, talking to lots of people who say no, and revisiting your reasons why, countless times. 

These tasks are not detours or distractions. They are merely steps on the journeys we’ve chosen.

If we can learn to love these quiet and often unnoticed tasks that prepare the way, we may find the joy we’re seeking was there all along.

We might discover that the thing we’re chasing isn’t the prize. It only led us to the road we were meant to walk. To meet the people we were meant to meet.

So go ahead. Lace up your shoes at dawn. Cut that first board. Tape off all the areas you don’t want to paint. Make that first sales pitch. Get to know people you never expected to meet.

Embrace all the steps that come before the thing.

It turns out, they are the thing.

“Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” — Abraham Lincoln

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

Pausing at the Halfway Mark

July 2nd is about a week away.  That will be the 183rd day of the year. The halfway point.

I usually think of the summer solstice as the halfway point since the days start getting shorter after that. 

Either way, it’s a good time to reflect.

Think back to January. Back then, you were probably wondering how to shed a few of those extra pounds you gained over the previous two weeks.

While sipping your leftover peppermint cocoa on New Year’s Day, what goals or intentions were on your mind? Did you write them down? Did you share them with anyone?

Be honest with yourself. What have you done that moves you closer to achieving any of the goals you set six months ago? Even small steps count.

Do those goals still matter to you? Have you added new goals since then?

Whatever your answers, write them down. Pick one thing to act on this week to get back on track. Movement builds momentum, and maintaining momentum is the key to achieving any goal.

Don’t forget to celebrate. A new productive habit. A relationship strengthened. A busy season endured (every industry seems to have one).

These quiet victories matter. They deserve your recognition.

Halfway through the year, the invitation is simple. Reflect. Realign.

Begin again.

Side note: Consider doing this exercise with an even larger time horizon. 

-What were your goals 10 years ago?  20 years ago?

-Are those goals still important to you? 

-Have you made progress on any of them?

-What are your goals for the next 10 years? 20 years?

-What concrete steps will you decide to take over the next 6 months to make progress on at least one of your 10-year goals?

Photo by Elliot Pannaman on Unsplash – why this image out of the thousands I could have chosen from Unsplash?  My focus wasn’t on the stark, still, wintry vibe (although that’s nice).  I was captured by the story it conveys. In my imagination, this person set out to cross the entire lake. Clearly, their chosen path wasn’t successful. Poor planning?  Lack of vision?  Who knows? 

But the halfway point is a moment like this. A pause at the edge, where we get to decide if our goal still matters. If it does, it’s time to retrace, replan, and re-commit to accomplishing what we set out to achieve.