The Day We Visited the Taj Mahal and Never Saw It

There are certain destinations in the world that feel larger than life. The Taj Mahal is one of those places. For many travelers, seeing it with their own eyes is a once-in-a-lifetime moment.

We were finally there. We had made it to Agra. All that remained was to step inside the gates and witness the iconic white marble glowing in the sun.

Only one problem.

There was no sun. There was no white marble. There was no Taj Mahal.

There was only fog.

We woke that morning filled with hope. The rooftop restaurant gave us a commanding view of… absolutely nothing. We stared into a wall of haze, sipping coffee and laughing at the absurdity of our timing. Surely the fog would lift. Surely the Taj Mahal would reveal itself.

Our guide, Kuldeep, assured us everything would be fine. He had led more than 500 tours of the Taj Mahal. He knew everything there was to know about its history and its beauty. We boarded our bus, grabbing our special cloth bags with a picture of the Taj printed on them. These were designed to hold the single water bottle we were allowed to bring inside the property. And we set off with excitement.

Fog. All the way there. Fog in the parking lot. Fog at the security lines. Fog as we walked the long approach toward the main viewing area. Each time Kuldeep stopped to point out an “excellent vantage point,” we nodded with wide eyes, imagining the magnificent structure hidden somewhere in the mist.

We took photos pointing at the picture on our water bottle bags. That was the only Taj Mahal available to us from any vantage point.

As we walked toward the building, we eventually reached the outer wall and finally saw something. White marble appeared just a few feet above our heads. Then the stone vanished again into the haze. The grand dome. The sweeping arches. The delicate inlays. All shrouded in fog.

We were standing beside one of the wonders of the world and could only see a sliver of it.

Our group laughed so much that day. Not because we had traveled halfway around the world only to miss the view. We laughed because we were sharing something unforgettable and slightly ridiculous. We were experiencing a story that would last much longer than a postcard-perfect photograph.

Kuldeep shook his head with disbelief. In all his tours, he had never experienced this. He told us we were a very select group of visitors who could claim something few on Earth could say. We visited the Taj Mahal, but we have never actually seen it.

He was right. I still have never seen the Taj Mahal in person.

The destination was never the prize

You might think this would be a disappointment. But when I look back on that trip, the fog made everything richer.

The destination was never the prize. The people were.

We shared meals and conversations and inside jokes. We tried foods that were new to us. We navigated chaos and beauty side by side. We saw India’s contrasts and colors and kindness. We saw devotion expressed in temples and marketplaces. We saw how history and modern life can exist on top of each other without barriers.

The Taj Mahal is extraordinary. I would love to see it someday with clear skies and a rising sun. Yet I already have what I came for.

When I think about all the amazing places I have been blessed to visit, a pattern appears. I never say, “Remember when we saw that famous landmark.” I say things like:

– Remember how we got lost trying to find it?
– Remember the tiny restaurant we discovered afterward?
– Remember the guide who became a friend?
– Remember that amazing gelato place in the middle of nowhere?

I have my memory of that rooftop breakfast. I have the echo of laughter on the bus. I have the photos of my family and friends pointing to a water bottle bag as if it were the crown jewel of Indian architecture.

The world is full of wonders. But relationships are the wonders that stay with us.

The real bucket list

If someday I return to the Taj Mahal and finally see it, I’ll smile and take it in. But I know the picture etched into my heart is already complete. It’s filled with faces and voices and laughter. It has the beauty of our shared experience.

Checklists are fine for airplanes. But our lives deserve something better.

The best adventures can’t be captured by a camera or a perfect view. What lasts are the relationships made stronger by shared surprises, setbacks, and moments of wonder.

This story, fog and all, remains one of my favorites.

Photo by Mark Harpur on Unsplash showing the majestic beauty of the Taj without fog. 

The photos below are mine showing what we actually saw.  Unfortunately, the amazing water bottle bag photos are stored on a drive I can’t see…a little bit like that morning in Agra more than a decade ago.    

59 Lessons at 59

I recently turned 59. Not the big 60 milestone but knocking on the door. In honor of this “almost-milestone” birthday, here are 59 lessons or truths I’ve picked up along the way that may be helpful for you:

  1. Family is the greatest treasure. I’ve learned this from countless dinners, phone calls, and quiet moments of simply being together.
  2. Love grows when you give it away.
  3. Small kindnesses matter more than big speeches. Holding a door, writing a note, or showing up means more than most people will admit.
  4. A campfire has a way of pulling people closer. Some of our best conversations happened with smoke in our face and stars overhead.
  5. Walks in the woods teach patience. The trail never hurries, but it always leads you somewhere good, even if the trail leads back to where you started.
  6. Listening is often better than speaking.
  7. Start, even if you don’t know the finish line.
  8. Forgiveness frees the forgiver.
  9. Work hard, but not so hard you miss the laughter at the dinner table. That laughter is life fuel.
  10. Friendships need tending like gardens.
  11. A calm mind shapes a calm day. How you manage your thoughts sets the tone for how you live, not just how you lead.
  12. Prayer steadies shaky ground.
  13. Scars are inevitable but can become footholds.
  14. Your children and grandchildren remember the times you kept your word. Integrity is how love earns trust over a lifetime.
  15. Music can heal a weary spirit.
  16. Laughter with grandchildren is holy ground. Even the silliest joke can create amazing memories.
  17. Take pictures but also put your phone down.
  18. The best conversations happen unplanned, often on the way to somewhere else.
  19. God shows up in ordinary moments.
  20. Start with what you have, not what you lack.
  21. Be quick to encourage. A word of encouragement can feel like oxygen to someone gasping for air.
  22. Time with your spouse is the best investment you’ll ever make.
  23. A sunrise reminds us the story isn’t over.
  24. Be generous with money, with time, and with grace.
  25. Don’t underestimate a good meal shared…even a bad meal shared.
  26. Patience is a form of love.
  27. Read good books slowly. And read them aloud. I’ll never forget the nights of reading Harry Potter chapters to my kids, one voice carrying us all to another world.
  28. Children teach us as much as we teach them.
  29. A soft answer turns away wrath.
  30. Slow down for sunsets.
  31. Stay curious, even at 59.
  32. Hold babies gently, but often.
  33. Let go of what you can’t control.
  34. Keep your promises, even the small ones. If you can’t be trusted in the little things, no one will trust you with the big ones.
  35. Coffee or a meal with a friend beats any meeting.
  36. Rest is productive.
  37. Gratitude doesn’t just brighten the day. It multiplies joy in ways you can’t measure. It shifts ordinary moments into holy ones.
  38. The journey matters more than the finish line.
  39. Never be too proud to say, “I was wrong.” Or “I don’t know.”
  40. Faith isn’t about knowing all the answers.
  41. Celebrate progress, not perfection.
  42. Trails are better with company. I’ve seen some of the deepest conversations unfold at mile three.
  43. Be the first to say “thank you.”
  44. Find work you believe in, but don’t let it define you.
  45. Love is the legacy worth leaving.
  46. Don’t compare. Contentment is wealth.
  47. Your words can build or break. Choose to build. Always.
  48. A long hug can mend a broken heart. I’ve felt that healing in the arms of family.
  49. Keep learning, keep growing. Continuous improvement matters. Even the smallest step forward is still forward.
  50. Tradition ties generations together, especially if that tradition involves an old family recipe that takes hours and lots of teamwork to make.
  51. Tell stories. Your family needs them. Stories pass down more than facts. They carry history and identity.
  52. Choose wonder over cynicism.
  53. You can’t outgive God, but you can follow His example.
  54. Every season has its beauty. Even Oklahoma summers with their heat and humidity have sunsets worth pausing for (clearly I appreciate sunrises and sunsets).
  55. Be present. Tomorrow isn’t promised.
  56. Family trust is sacred. Break it once, and it may never return the same. Protect it as carefully as you protect your home.
  57. Celebrate the small wins. A child’s smile, a project finished, or a quiet evening with family. Cherish these moments.
  58. Joy often hides in the small, ordinary things.
  59. Life is a gift. At every age, unwrap it with wonder.

4 Bonus Lessons (which means I came up with four more that I didn’t want to exclude)

  1. Adapt or be left behind. If you’re the best buggy whip maker, prepare to adapt when automobiles come out. Don’t cling to the past so tightly that you miss the future.
  2. The quiet miracle of savings and compound interest. Einstein was right. Compound interest is the most amazing thing. Steadily and quietly setting aside a portion of your income builds your wealth over time. It also provides peace of mind and freedom for your future self.
  3. Learn outside your lane. Take time to study things that don’t seem connected to your work. The most important lessons often come from entirely different fields.
  4. Travel opens two windows. When you visit a new country, you learn about their culture, their food, their people. But you also return seeing your own home differently…with gratitude, with perspective, and with fresh eyes.

Photo by Mantas Hesthaven on Unsplash

Have You Ever Seen the Rain?

I sit uncomfortably and motionless in the back of the plane. Two hours into our flight. The Credence channel beckons. I nestle into the channel’s first song, and I’m visited by a memory like a warm blanket on a frosty morning.

Someone told me long ago
There’s a calm before the storm
I know; it’s been comin’ for some time

It was the summer of ’78, or close to it. My dad was proud as he could be of our 19-foot jet ski boat. He couldn’t wait to hit the glassy sunrise waters of Lake Havasu and watch his sons ski. One, then the other.

When it’s over, so they say
It’ll rain a sunny day
I know; shinin’ down like water

Putting on a single ski binding requires a blend of finesse and strength. At least as much strength as a seventh grader can muster. The secret is to let the ski vest do the heavy lifting and just relax.

I wanna know
Have you ever seen the rain?

Moments later, the rope pulls taut, my ski is aligned just right. I’m ready and yell, “Hit it!”

I wanna know
Have you ever seen the rain
Comin’ down on a sunny day?

All 455 cubic inches of the inboard Oldsmobile engine roar to life. In seconds, the boat and the kid behind it launch out of the water.

There’s a moment, right as you break free of the lake, when all the pulling eases off at once. Water skims effortlessly under the ski.

Thoughts of speed and daring take over. I lean into my first glassy turn. My ski hums a high note as my grip tightens against the pull of the rope.

Yesterday and days before
Sun is cold and rain is hard
I know; been that way for all my time

It’s a blur of jumps and splashes. Long pulls to the side. Deep, slow turns in the opposite direction. Always a glance back to admire the rooster tail…especially when the sun catches it just right, holding the spray in the air like magic.

No time to admire it too long. Time to hammer the oncoming wake, trying to clear the other side, then do it all again. Pull wide. Pause. Dig in. Turn hard. Admire the rooster tail.

‘Til forever, on it goes
Through the circle, fast and slow
I know; it can’t stop, I wonder

The song ends, and I’m back where I started. My neighbor taps my shoulder. He needs to get to the bathroom.

We’re on our way to live new stories and make new memories. Life’s adventure continues.

I wanna know
Have you ever seen the rain?

But it sure is nice to visit with a cherished memory. Like that friend who we see less than we should…but always pick up our conversation right where we left off.

I wanna know
Have you ever seen the rain
Comin’ down on a sunny day?

No matter how long it’s been.

Photo by Ethan Walsweer on Unsplash – not a 7th grader, but a cool water skiing photo.

Climbing 10% of the Mountain

“…climbing 10% of the mountain ten times is not as useful as climbing to the top once.” – Adam Mastroianni

This quote reminds me of the old adage about project resourcing: sometimes projects can’t be completed faster merely by adding more people to it.  After all, the story goes, nine women can’t make a baby in a month.

Does this climbing quote ignore our preparation?  Route scouting, equipment testing, and countless workouts that make the summit climb possible.  Not to mention the like-minded team we built to support the climb.

Maybe it’s not about preparation.  Maybe it’s about the false-starts, the simulated progress, the big talk and no action that we engage in to make it seem like we’re climbing when we’re not.  We think we’re fooling everyone, but we’re only fooling ourselves as we take the comfortable way out and choose not to climb at all.

It’s easy to climb 10% of the mountain or achieve 10% of the goal.  It’s easy to get 50%.  60%.  Even 75%.  But as the challenges compound near the top, we let doubts creep in.  The grinding effort becomes exhausting.  We lose sight of the summit or forget why we’re climbing in the first place. 

We make excuses.  We can come back another day and try again.  The summit will always be there, and maybe next time… 

That’s just it.  We’re rarely “ready” for the climbs that matter, whether in business, fitness, or life’s hardships.  Waiting for the perfect time often means waiting forever. 

You have the power to choose the summit run every time.  Committing 100% effort, even when you feel 60% ready.  Trusting that you’ll figure out the rest along the way. 

Life’s summits rarely wait for us to feel ready. The question is: will you take the first step…and then push beyond 10%, all the way to the top?

Photo by Paolo Feser on Unsplash